empty the magnums in to the pitcher. then 2 oz of teguila and 2 of cointreau. then cut up the lemon lime and 2 oranges into fours squeeze the juice and put half the squeezed rinds in.
Add sugar to taste.. use a bit of splenda if you are worried about carbs/calories
also please let the flavors get to know each other....in the fridge... add ice to chill when you pour.
"Music is, to me, proof of the existence of God. It is so extraordinarily full of magic, and in tough times of my life I can listen to music and it makes such a difference". Kurt Vonnegut
"History forbids us to hope this side of the grave. But once in a lifetime, the longed-for tide of justice can arise and hope and history rhyme." - Seamus Heaney
a beautiful quote that can be applied or looked at through the lens of current political, economic, or social events... or all three.
Hey y'all So I made a recent itunes IMIX. Check it out. I included a few songs that have been ratting around inside my head as of late. There are a few that didnt make the list cause they aren't in the official I-tunes store. ...and thanks again for all the support you have given since I released the E.P. this summer. If you haven't, taken a listen! Hop over here to check it out! Or here to get it in the itunes store. "I'ld by that for a dollar!"
time shoots on by... days turn to days and weeks into weeks
new great souls have come into my life and the band... first of all, welcome to Bernardo Aumond who has jumped on board to apply his mind to the Low-end Theory of Bilvox.
with more announcements soon, please check back often!
woke up pulled myself out of bed & as my heal hit the pavement a hunger set in an empty space a gaping hole same faces useless spaces wasted hours of these in-between days there's got to be way, another way.
I want something, Something more A broken heart an aborted start I want something, something more
years lived in vein pursuit of happiness - it's all the same trade your hours for a chunk of change dreams left behind settle down, then you wont mind
inside, a hunger to walk on a different path to awaken my dreams make all these hopes last
I want something, Something more A broken heart an aborted start I want something, something more
and sure your parents all 'made a go' with a great life to show but in your heart you know the score you want something, something more.
There is a way you can not only support bilvox... but also look great while doing it. How? oh oh oh by of course browsing my online shop and finding a treat for yourself. The Bilvox Online Store! The Merc is great quality and nicely designed. a mug, a shirt, a sticker? Its all there. Enjoy ~bilvox
giving someone a mix-tape is better than hearing I love you, I miss you, I dig you...
Making them... Oh the anxious twist of the stomach as you time your favorite songs to play out and fill both sides... you pick the perfect order - one complimenting the next.. the tempo crescendos the melancholy lulls...
the perfect songs - to say all the things you ever wanted... to find the perfect song - music - lyrics that could encapsulate all the complex feelings and thoughts you feel and think about this person... the world... the future.
nervous to reveal so much to someone
revealing 60 minutes of your heart on a plastic maxell type II tape.
you remind me of some Jean-Luc Godard film with your cropped hair and your casual sex your dreams you want realized and the terms in which you want them unfiltered cigarettes and a pan-am tote you carry your world in a handbag
you'd run away to italy with your world under-arm oh, but not with me I'm a criminal, a thief, a liar out on the hunt all men lay at your feet the city lights, the city of night light your way and the hunting are running
sprawled out calling out drawn out Im haunted by your bohemian ways by your never-ending days your mascara that never runs what are you running from?
To not involve oneself in politics can be tricky On one hand if you stay ignorant of what goes on in your capital buildings you claim innocence as you disassociate yourself from the the dirty, greedy, the unjust, and unrepresentative decisions made. On the other hand you end up surrendering your voice, and your life from being aware of events that shape the geo-political future... and eventually your own. Ignorance is no excuse, to be un-invloved is one thing... but to be aware holds accountability to those in power to the very people that give it to them.
the autumn breeze is flowing through these city streets the temperature turns pull your collar up cover you chilled neck look back at the sinking sun its lower today than it was yesterday
memories of the summer sun burned images of late warm nights; your arm around my waist we stumbled and wandered guided by smells of cooling streets and closing cafes
and these seasons change its always the same These Seasons, Seasons in the city. You want me to stay the same but these seasons change me Seasons in the City
Comments:
Yo Bill,
Yea, the changing of the seasons is one thing that I do miss about Boston. It gave you a real sense of time passing. Weather is always nice in L.A., so time seems to move on by...until you realize years have gone by.
A great man in the world of music passed away Friday, Tony Wilson Founder of Factory Records. He is often regarded as helping spark the fire of the "Madchester" movement originating from Manchester England in the 80s and early 90s. A movement that was partly fathered from the energy of punk, dance and ecstasy. He is responsible for finds such acts like Joy Divison & New Order, The Happy Mondays, and also starting the whole DJ club phenomenon from his infamous and now defunked Manchester club The Hacienda. A hallowed venue to music fans; where bands like The Stone Roses, The Smiths, and Primal Screem all got their start. He is immortalized in the film "24 Hour Party People" about the fall of punk and the rise of post-punk and the effect it had on music around the world. He has since remained a constant force in the music industry heading up a renown festival in the UK and NYC called "In The City". All musicians today owe him a debt of gratitude, including myself. Men like him rarely come along and push things forward as much has he did for the music scene and the recording arts in general. He was a man that sometimes underestimated his role as a catalyst for a great movement and founder and promoter of great musicians.
"I'm a minor player in my own life story." Tony Wilson
... and what a life story it was Tony. Anothy Wilson passed away Friday after a battle with cancer. Thanks Tony for all... -Bv
Had I the heavens' embroidered cloths, Enwrought with golden and silver light, The blue and the dim and the dark cloths Of night and light and the half-light, I would spread the cloths under your feet: But I, being poor, have only my dreams; I have spread my dreams under your feet, Tread softly because you tread on my dreams
We contain all the passions and all the vices and all the suns and stars, chasms and heights, trees, animals, forests, streams. This is what we are. Our experience lies in our veins, in our nerves. We stagger. Burning between grey blocks of houses. On bridges of steel. Light from a thousand tubes flows around us, and a thousand violet nights etch sharp wrinkles in our faces.
I saw today a picture of a friend's daughter sitting upon a rocking horse a care-free sweet innocent smile on her face framed by pudgy cheeks a moment passes, I catch myself staring deep into this picture and I wonder... what if I was a father, what if I had a daughter, a son what if I had someone depend so deeply on me what if I had someone to show, to teach how beautiful the colors are in this world. What if I had someone that from before their first breath I loved unconditionally
fears? Would I ever ignore them not engage myself in to the wonder of their world? listen to their sounds and colors they have to show me? Would I ever squash their joy? Would I never reach out, appreciate them? Would I be my father?
all I hope is when that day comes... these questions these fears keep me vigilant from this.
I have yet to meet my wife or to hold my children but I know this... My heart is so in love with them all.
My heart is with you on this day, my heart is with you down all the days, my heart is with you since I met you all those days ago. Happy Valentine's Day Love -me
mexico a cooling ocean breeze under the hot cruel sun I stood on the balcony below the ocean lapped on the rocks above the day turned to night a billion shining points of light fell on me above, the moon with its silky light, lit my path the path that lay before me one for a healing heart a brand new start in a new year a new me
So you remember that older album, a sort of greatest hits of our old material... You know "Muse", "Take Me Away(an angel passes)", "The Stranger".. wait you don't have them???
Well finally, and we mean finally! After a glitch has been fixed on apple's part, our album with all those songs is now available on the Itunes store!
We are very excited about this cause this gives us a chance for broader digital distribution than before. I know you asked Santa for bv and modern stereo on your ipod for Christmas.. so now your Holiday wishes can come true!
Follow this link for "Bilvox: A Stranger in a Strange Land"...
I once had a lover and she was so sweet she had flowers in her hair and the world at her feet she taught me to live taught me to love I felt the sun ya heaven
I had a lover with flowers in her hair the world at her feet oh she didn't care
with a sullen smile and a sudden smirk she felt the world slip away
accelerator under foot road under her tires she's on the the street
the wishes they flew away and troubles ran from mind as she pulled away she pulled away
I wish there was a way for me to make you stay to have you turn around and say that you'll stay the night 'till the moon fades into the light and in the new day I will feel new my only thought, my only want is of you
I want a lover Who will stay with me through the night To hold my heavy head and say “It will be alright” One with a kiss that could undo all harm And with one smile could disarm All the heavens, all on earth would see Their only want Is me
If there was a way to undo All the pain that fell on you To take the chains off your heart To give you and I a brand-new start If there was another way I would take your hand and we could run away Cause my only want Is you
If I could make this moment forever We could dream up a new world to live in A new world for you and me
so you look at the man on stage... "He wants the world to love him." you say no he probably wants one person to love him, and everyone has to hear about it.
"The difference between a tourist and a traveler is that a tourist seeks only comfort while a traveler seeks discovery. They take more risks. They get pleasure in overcoming difficulties and discomforts, and they seek out the people."--Lea Lane.
Someone asked, "Tell me one album you would recomend to someone who would listen to your music and a sentence why you like it?" Travis: I'd have to go with Late for the Sky by Jackson Browne because it's a beautiful album that you'll listen to today, and understand a little more at a time, as you get older i just liked the music when I was 19 now I GET it. if that makes sense (yes, I know that was like 11 sentences)
Bilvox: Good question! I have been listening to a slew of random music. I recently bought "Death in Vegas's" 'Scorpio Rising' I find the mix of genres and electronic beats with rock music very cool. BUT I have been really into Lily Allen's "Alright, Still" Its an amazing album sort of bubble gum with razor-blades in it of brilliant lyrics and great genre mixing. (I think that was like 20 sentences!)
something to think about today comes from a conversation I just had...
"i think one of the most important, influential and inspirational questions we must ask ourselves is, "if my life were to be cut short for some reason, what would i be most disappointed in not accomplishing?" it's a very different question that, "what do i want to do before i die?" it puts emphasis on the present and cuts through to what is really important. " -j
think about that... now do something about that...
survived the night.. the emergence of being back on the radar for many of my past that I have run from a full circle between then and now the distance run and returned
ten years went by and I'm older my memories they fade, they smolder
the laughs the chemistry -quiet understanding of a shared experience was found that bonded us all there together
beneath some faces hid the 'tumultuous twenties', those inner demons wrestled with. quiet scars from that battle left on their smile
some faces unchanged yet a life moved forward for them; children, husbands a family being grown and nurtured
paths followed -some similar to each other, but mostly unique
Stories abound of the invisible ghosts, rumors of a life elsewhere...
Could haves & should haves considered and pondered all really just enjoying the now & then.
"Sometimes I wanna take a pill and hide Sometimes I wanna shut down and ride And go where no man should go Go where no man should go Go where no man should go Go where no man should go Could it be, every really be, alright" -Daniel Lanois
The previous are lyrics from a song I absolutely love, and lately reflect a bit what I feel... Everyone needs distance, time alone, time inside one's head so that your voice is the only one there. Sometimes we get in a rut, or feel we are spinning wheels furiously as no movement is being made. It can be so frustrating. Maybe this is reflected in your job, in your day-to-day, or even your life you lead. Sometimes there is too much noise, too much static. That's when it is best to take that "pill n hide" or more appropriately... turn your cell phone off go for a walk in the city, stay in on a weekend night and write, get to know yourself better have some 'me" time... tell your friends you will be disappeared for a bit and enjoy the silence. It's a normal and healthy thing to do, to have your "me" time. And although some people in your life might take it personally, hopefully they will understand and when you come back will be accepting of it.
So thus I have been absent from this blog for a while.. and from a few other things in my life. Perhaps because this is the time, as my birthday approaches, where I look into that mirror, the one that another 'go around the sun' has you reflect in to. So what do I see? 365 days, a few relationships, some heartbreak, some healing, some growing, new friends, new family... and some souls that walked away. Love felt, tasted, and known. Love twisted, broken, and unknown... and all in between... The distance I have gone.. do I see this in the bending of light? Where am I now, as I stand?
Ever deeper I stare, wide-eyed, silent, wondering... My heart, it sits in my chest an old friend, scarred, broken, and healing... It sits full with so much to share. An old friend at times I abandoned, in-search of pure passion and pleasure without depth. And in my heart's abandon and upon finding this thin meaningless passion you broke. To you my tender, tender, giving heart I apologize... I sought you out again and found the fire in you still burning, burning so hot... it's been so cold without you. With your flame we will set fire to this night... the fire will spread. All the while, through all the hours of this journey friends and lovers have accompanied me and at some-point held my head, hand, and heart. Now I need to walk alone and feel the weight of this life... for these steps I can only go alone. Into a new year of existence, a new day. At night I will fall asleep then wake a newborn to this new year, these new hours. A new day, a birth day.
mute the inside, quiet the voice of your heart the love you feel the sadness and isolation of life the awkward situations a muted existence, walled in closely guarded and defined the humor of it all the hilarious situations this opera plays out the rising tide of passion crying
to feel something more... for only so long you can dull your pen, strain your voice, until with a clear head, a bursting heart, and a strong voice you want to sing out
should haves could haves needs and wants "desirous of everything at the same time*" hungry for life for motion emotion pure laughter with a head tilted up laughing to the heavens crying out a single soul in a sea of passing lives don't just live i don't just want to simply exist
I want you, I want it all life beauty i want... all
Opps I did it again.. I think I wrote a smiths song last night... -bv
I've been looking for treasure under the trash looking for truth in the digital noise and all these men with their voices on the radio they dont speak to me speak for me or say anything really at all
I've been looking for a reason to believe in this world Looking for a place that i fit maybe somewhere or with someone that I could start over with and begin and new life
then I heard your voice over em all and it shined and it sang and it said something true to me and it sang something sweet to me
life really isnt that bad after all it really isnt bad oh with someone like you. oh with someone like you.
I was standing at the back of the darkened club looking for a friend, oh someone that didnt lie and all these people with their gestures their posing and their easy lives they do nothing and have nothing to say nothing to say to me
then I heard your voice over em all and it shined and it sang and it said something true to me and it sang something sweet to me
life really isnt that bad after all it really isnt bad oh with someone like you. oh with someone like you.
life really isnt that bad oh with someone like you. oh with someone like you.
to my friends: This monday... Because one voice alone is quiet and meek but one voice of many is so very loud and strong it's not about right & wrong, it's not black and white it is about peace... ya what a fantastic idea so my Boston friends join me this Monday the 6th of Aug. I hope to see you there @ a vigil for peace
In past weeks we have seen the catastrophic events of the conflict between Israel and Lebanon unfold and magnify into a devastating series of violent atrocities and war crimes. We hear of the hundreds of lives lost, the homes destroyed, the many thousands made homeless, families torn apart and livelihoods crushed. This evening, Amnesty International members around the world, our supporters, our friends and our fellow partner organizations all stand together in solidarity with those who have suffered in this conflict. We mourn deeply for the victims and our hearts reach out to their families to wish them strength in this time of chaos. Our thoughts also stay closely with those surviving the conflict in the face of extreme danger, to whom we wish courage and immediate safety. We call on Israel and Hizbullah to start respecting the lives and the human rights of innocent people. And we implore other governments around the world to intervene to help the people of Israel and Lebanon - and to join our call for an end to this senseless violence. Today we stand together with a simple message: For all our sakes, ceasefire.
I could say you were selfish. I could detail your suddenly cruelty; the pursuit you aborted. the distortion of our relationship's reality for your own device. denying truth to quell that small voice of your conscience, the one that whispers 'believe in the unseen'
I could fill volumes detailing my frustration and anger your cold cruel response to my understanding, my open arms, this heart that cared. I could say all these things and pages more..
but now with distance gained I look now with clarity and calm see all how it was, the good - the bad the sweet - the selfish and the truth of it all: you were just so very uninspiring and I'm sorry for that
It has been an interesting month personally and ( in a welcomed diversion) with the world cup. It was a great tourney all around I must say. I was routing for the home team (Germany, above, third place winners) and to see them improve and defeat expectations was fantastic. There were some great examples of wonderful soccer playing, and some unfortunate examples of not-so-wonderful (zidane). All-in-all I met some great people from all different backgrounds and supporting various national teams. We all shared the enjoyment of a great sport. Cheers to everyone I met and everyone around the world who played and enjoyed this month as well. stay well -bv
"The task of art today is to bring order to chaos" -Theodor Ardorno
In such a strange time, where there is so much war, poverty, and pain... I think art truly can be this. It can be healing to our bitter hearts and misunderstood words.
I just would picture from these times there should and would be art rising up, culture overcoming this chaos. First the chaos in our hearts, then it becomes a spark to set the flame in everyone else. In times of uncertainty wherein our humanistic ways are challenged is when movements are created, philosophies are born. People, saddened by what is real, dream up a new world to live in. I think that's truly what we should all do now... If you dream of peace, live in that dream If you dream of love, understanding, live that dream Dream it so loud the rest of the world is woken up by it. Wake up. Dream up a new world to live in.
Coming Down, but you've got me so high Coming Down Don't want to make that fall tonight Coming Down but my feet just left the ground When I look at this world it gets my head spinning 'round but your kiss gives me rise
Falling Down Don't say you've lost your way Falling down Don't wanna say they're right (call out!) the truth you believe (call out!) it's okay to where your heart on your sleeve
Outside the colors are fading Outside the world is burning there's no us there's no them there's no beginning to this end. and some of us still cry some of us still wonder why oh why?
Finally when summer weather arrives, the sun warms your skin and leaves you tanned and relaxed... then it is so very easy to understand why civilizations used to worship the sun. Yet we still do... beaches, resorts, and tropical vacations... all so we can raise our faces to the mighty life-giving orb so high in the summer sky and let its rays permeate our skin. After a relaxed weekend of some sun worship, cooling cocktails, sweet summer music... I think I am ready to do this for the next few months for sure.
Together, Hand in hand we roam these city streets, lounge in the gardens. Silence. Contentment. I smell the sweet aroma of your hair when I kiss your temple. Breathe deep. I inhale and take you in.
You fill my lungs with song, my heart with your infectious laughter.
Next to you, safe, I let go. Let it all go, a bruised heart, a doubting soul, all fades from my grasp.
Next to you, I'm safe, I let go. I could slip into a safe slumber and forever dream next to you.
Hey Y'all! Hope this finds everyone well... Last night I ventured out to Cambridge area to the Lizard Lounge for what always is not only a great venue but a wonderful evening that showcases a lot of talent... I played The Stranger and Stay Tonight for the crew there and walked away from the performance feeling really good about it. If you have not gotten a chance to go there, please do. Its a wonderful venue to experience live music and to see what talent this city offers. I was a bit uncertain how I would do, it being a while since I have played out... but I feel it went well, and I am hoping to get back there some time soon to play. Where have I been? recording and writing... I am focusing on finishing up and having a new album this year. Since I put out and completed my old album "Stranger In a Strange Land" last year, I have written and been developing a slew of tunes. I look at "Stranger in a.." as a record I am proud of but, it is more of a compilation. It chronicles of my emergence as a singer and songwriter and the time of growth and development after "The Spark" broke up. I feel much of the material is sophomoric and raw... and I feel its more of a compilation, unlike my new material. The songs are coming along nicely and they generally all sound of the same heart and time period... and with some help of my friends... the finished product will be great. I am also looking into outside production and recording help so as to help develop my sound and these songs to their full potential. So that's the news for now... email me at bilvox(at)bilvox(dot)com to be added to mailing lists or for general harassment. muchas lovage -bv
The city before me hushed in a drape of moonlight so thin delicate against the neon. Murmurs of day echo in quiet corners where memories of the day fade hide in shadows The sway of branches now still become silent scaffolding against the sky. Sky-scrapers twinkle crystalline like christmas trees dotted across the urban field.
Footsteps; staccato and sweet sexy and swift like an unfamiliar dance rhythm pepper the alleyway turn heads, and perk ears
Lovers arms intwined duck into shadow to find warmth against the evening's sunless chill.
The old queen bellowing laughter holding court with a keen eye on passing pedestrians.
The idiot with yellowed teeth bared eyes tight debates an invisible enemy and shuffles out of site.
In this solitary city night I wander, I seek a hand to hold a cheek to kiss
pause I recognize all the while I walk I am held in the palm of the city
It's that time of year again. I love how the earth awakens from the long cold slumber of winter. Those fragrances of spring once again hang in the air; The cool pine, the damp soil, fresh with kisses from the spring rain. The scent finds me, touches my nose, fills my lungs, and warms my heart.
Life, the green slowly returns. Life wins today, the grey fades.
Change in season, a change of heart, hope for renewal, a brand new start.
A blank slate An empty lot Haunted by lies Your cruel way A twist of your whim The last touch of our skin
My hand you grabbed Our faces a kiss apart Into your kiss I fell And that moment, I tasted a last kiss one last time I would fall into you
In my ears you whispered In my hands you were held In my bed you slept But pretend never lasts Cause it will always be me when you open those eyes Oh if only you'd never open those eyes
You said, "I'll see you soon" then I realized I never would
Stranger at the Paradise Bilvox & Modern Stereo will be appearing Tuesday February 7th 7:30pm The Paradise Lounge 969 Comm Ave, Allston MA www.thedise.com
We will be playing songs from the up coming release "Stranger in a Strange Land" and a few other surprises. It's a night that features some of the best Singer/Song Writers in Boston. Come on down to the infamous Paradise Lounge for your earfull of ... (what 'they' say)
"Bilvox's heartfelt lyrics balance both imagery and poetry while echoing those of traditional pop music. The chiming and lyric guitars are haunting and catchy amongst the backdrop of the melodies. The music is Boston and America's answer to the movement that blends poetry, folk, and post punk rock while adding a groove or "hips".
I am so looking forward to it... Hope you all can make it love -bv
the perfect human, is there one the touch of the skin the soft behind the knee as i reached there, held you that way was the whisper for me, the one at the end of your breath as you slept so silently the flame, the white burn in the heart that tiny white point in the coeur someday, a few from now I will understand, will I understand? Narrate to me how I walk across the room sketch my image for me you see in your mind the image that stays with you, the one you see 4 months from the last time you saw my face the bottle of wine just out of reach sartre, just out of grasp did you sketch me with the walls up? did you do that so as to shine a light on the gaps? the safe distance, the length of a lens your hand in the small of my back, wince, bend, move, remove, frame, stay your figure, like ballet, a perfect form silence comes reach for me the perfect human, we can be for a moment, so perfect
ahh the magic 20 questions I agreed to play this game and post it here... enjoy
01. Is there any song you listened to back-to-back-to-back-to-back this year? couple.. Ghosts by mark Geary, rewind by the stereophonics, are you gonna wait forever by u2, lua by brighteyes, weekends by the perishers, such great heights by postal service, swallowed in the sea by coldplay... gees there's a bunch I really was thirsty to listen to...
02. What was the single most beautiful physical, geographic place you found yourself in? So I was in Barcelona for a week in June by my lonesome. The whole city is lovely and amazing, but one memory I hope stays in my noggin is when after meeting some great folks we strolled to the beach and watched the sun rise over the med. Its like such an amazing moment. It was like watching a hushed birth of a new day.
03. Who is a delightful person you met this year? I met a lot of wonderful people from new friends, lovers found and lost, people I admire and look up to and then even a new family.
04. What was the biggest point of upheaval or change in your life since last December? Had some dark times some bright times... Umm finishing the album was a labor of love for sure.. and there were moments I thought I wasn't going to do it or had it in me. But now with it done.. and a slew of new tunes in the back burner I am ready for two-zero-zero-six!
05. What was a really, really good time in which you had a lot of fun with people? gees just one? ;-) I had some great times like in Barcelona dancing all night and meeting nice folks and watching the sunrise. Oh def the time there in BCN when I got on stage and sang with the hiphop-jazz fusion band... mind blowing. I had some really great times bonding with my friends this year too.
06. Who do you think you talked with the most over the last year? probably Travis he is very close to me
07. What is your favorite material belonging you acquired over the past year? I didn't really get anything big this year.. rediscovering my love for Photography was pretty huge for me. That's a great gift for sure. But ya I didn't get like some big amazing cool 'thing'.
08. Did you fall in love this year? Say something about it? If not, what sorts of crushes or relationships or hobbies did you prefer? haha, Im always falling in love! um.. let's see this year began with some major heartbreak... then healing happened. Had a super crush on a friend, made some mistakes, but met someone I thought was perfect for me.. but timing was off and I was wrong I guess. Recently, I have met a really sweet and interesting person, I look forward to knowing them more. ;-)
09. What food item / beverage / illicit drug was your most characteristic this year? I think this was the year of the Rioja Red Wine. :-)
10. What was your best blooper reel moment? Ummm. I'm not sure I have one, more like 20. ha I always do silly things.
11. Describe a conversation you had this year that you will never forget. There were couple... I love good conversations. Okay, there was one where I completely found myself connected with another person, and after not feeling that for a while it was nice. One where I was able to bond with a like minded musical artist that I look up to. Another where my friend urged me to start not being so hard on myself. ha, ha we'll see about that one.
12. What was the funniest inside joke of the year? oh man I have a bunch not fit to print or others to read... okay maybe "oh, it will be fully operational when your friends arrive!" yeah. You're scratching your head... but its funny to those on the "in" don't cha wish you were there? ha.
13. What was your most expensive purchase of the year? my week in Spain.
14. What was your favorite live performance (a play, a band, an orchestra, the ice capades) that you attended this year? Are you kidding me? Oh god... Um I saw some amazing shows this year. The big ones: Coldplay, U2, David Gray, Bloc Party, Snow patrol. The shows that cut to me the most were ones where the performers would let go and teach me how to do the same by their example, like Mark Geary. Oh and how can I forget saw the Stereophonics. That was so much fun. They rock out and really can put on a show with so many dynamics from rockin to tender. That was very fun.
15. What song will always remind you of this year? one song? yipes... um Probably the ones I wrote this year. October Remains is a big one for me. It's not on "Stranger in a Strange Land". It's a newer one... but it is a mood and moment I captured that when now I listen to it... I am humbled by how strong the spirit or muse can move one. Why? Its seems beyond my skill or talent... but its not I guess.. just I was able to dig deep for it and it shows... Plus personally the lyric is great and describes a lot of those relationship breaking and making scenes. It is a good tune... I wont cut it up to pieces like my lot of others.
16. What is a big lesson you learned this year? Been a couple of Personal ones. Recently; some people we demonfy aren't really all that bad... just might be in a bad place. Now it doesn't mean you have to forgive what they have done, but helps make you understand how or why. Another; I am stronger than I thought I was, and am not all that bad... and friends can be the best people in the world to carry you or to be your mirror to show you this. Also; How to let go when performing... how to transcend the moment... and really just hit em with your heart.
17. What was the phone number you called most frequently this year? my voice mail? ha um my close friends Kevin or Travis
18. Describe one instant this year in which you were giddily, grinningly happy. After talking to and meeting Mark Geary he helped re-spark the light I thought went out when I was halfway finished with the album. Another? After smootching someone, I thought my heart checked out for good... it was nice to feel my stomach flip and heart beat again. Oh and definitely after some performances, they get me so naturally high... I love it!
19. What place, thing, person, creative outlet, etc. did you turn to when you needed cheering? First is music. I also like to turn inward stroll the city and write. I found the perfect writing nook in a park near me... its my place.
20. What did you do this year you'd like to do more of in the future?: Live, Love, Laugh. I definitely am a thirsty person for all these things... I want to taste life, kiss sweet lips, fall down laughing... I want to see the world and the world in people... okay.. Im going to stop now. ha...
Thanks, cool stuff: No Thank You and Happy New Year.. Here's to 2006!
The belief in the unseen, holiday. damp pines clean crisp smell of the winter air breathe freezes mouths hide in layers of scarf frozen finger tips the pain of those frozen fingertips thawing by fire inside, the smell of scotch tape and the Christmas roast dance in your nose the children's hopes, the gift of their laughter fills our ears as the warmth of the Christmas meal and the effective result of grandpa's revered eggnog recipe fills our bellies. the twinkle in a child's eye brightens the night further adds the hope of magic to the evening I could swear the star then on the tree seems brighter their joy spreads infectiously from child to elder. Christmas bells ring out eyes widen and love, for the day, rules.
the war in Iraq has at the very least cost 200 billion dollars, an amount which according to the world health organisation could provide clean and safe drinking water for everyone on the planet.
I woke up this morning to the lovely site of a perfect blurred soft white blanket gently covering my patio. the city is hushed the sound of the falling the snowflakes is all that reaches my ear this gentle white skin like a balancing act clings to the thin and wavering branches of a bare shrub the chilled but damp air smells of something a new. a fresh winter hangs in the air and falls to me here with the gentle cold kisses of tiny frozen crystals kissing my face this fresh aire of brisk newness to the day invigorates my lungs fills my face with a smile.
Indian summer stays with us here some nights and its so wonderful to walk these city streets, these pavement fields at night. the lights of shop's windows line the path. lyrics form in my head melody falls from my tongue I love this feeling letting my unclouded thoughts free to breathe free to fall on my moleskine's pages I save these nuggets some get lost in other thoughts some lost in the walk at night some stay with me and become song
greys whites the blurring sand twisted metal and a relentless sound sea and foam grain amber in the sun setting as it lies its color yellows and gold a single tone streaks across the window a tinny voice, a tone forgot the blue for you is my red too simple too few choose, but choose for you let it drip let it lie where it might metallic black fall where it might it will bring you back to a time a day a life you knew would arrive like a dream remembered a now understood hold this time in your arms these means, these ways from withen this modern age emerges a form your beautiful beautiful form
surrender, I don't need you to, surrender, what for? where you are is where I want to be is where I want to live where you kneel is the spot I want to steal maybe my heart some day will surrender will feel what makes you real Fighting in this life for a piece of my own and I know I know that voice in your head, your heart I once heard so loud I could walk with a foot that landed firm a step that was sure these steps now, yes, they stumble but its my own way at least I would like to think, well that's what I say to myself to keep this controlled fall free from falling free. only with these words, my soul's light I dive into this darkness I feel my way I shine, flicker, fade in, fade out it's all trying to find out what it's all about. really
Hola... slower than molases on a friday morning in boston... but you can read in the staging area recent news http://www.bilvox.com/stage/ I know, its been way too long these new pages being coded, but its coming... I'm just thinking to myself as I trudge to work on a 22degree morning how 24 hours ago I woke, went for a run, dove in a pool to cool off, then proceeded to lay in the sun for 2 hours. I have certainly waken from vacation visiting fam in fla. Back in the office smell, floresent lights, shite coffee, and multimedia-ing needed to get multi-media-ed more later *yawn*
so i sip on a rioja, relax now that I am packed and on my way shortly to a new city... at least to me Sioux Falls South Dakota... My Father is getting remarried... quite an interesting weekend indeed... a new place, new people... excellent
I watched as she moved her hair from one side of her shoulder to the other in her hand the neck of a rich amber and chestnut violin she lifted the chin pad to her neck closed her eyes let go and played the instrument it played through her I thought it was beautiful she was lovely music can be so lovely
So my best friend Eric has been supporting his novella with many interviews etc. check this one... I get a very generous line about the song I wrote for him... :-) yay
album of the month or at least second half of the month is U2's October... do check it out Although the new franz ferdinand and david gray are on super heavy rotation... and the best new albums this last month to gace my ears etc...
1.) have flat in Berlin, Paris, south of France, Barcelona, and Prague and in the states NYC and Boston 2.) I would open a wine/cheese shop slash wine/cheese bar, one in SOHO NYC, and one in the south end of Boston. 3.) produce records, start a record company and scout out acts I dig and I know have talent. 4.) but not before or sacrificing producing and putting out my own record and touring band. 5.) have a clothes label and design cool clothing for the 5'7", 135 pound male so everyone could look like a rock star too. I would call it "Bilvoxian Wear". 6.) of course I would be a goodwill ambassador for amnesty international, oxfam, and unicef 7.) have an entourage. and sometimes flavor flav will make an appearance in it. 8.) have a foundation that provided clubfoot surgery for less-fortunate club-footed children 9.) have a really cool vespa, and ducatti motor cycle to appeal to the mod and the rocker in me. 10.) I would do an around the world journey 11) ask the girl I dig out.
I watch you walk away, slowly turn away every kiss is the last kiss goodbye im stuck in this railway station on the departure ramp we are like fading memories dreams not remembered if everymorning is sunshine and everynight is a death will you kiss me with your angel wings
I watch you walk away slowly turn away if moments are the things that matter most in this world how many moments can you take how many must we share before you want to share this life.
this city is a railway station a departure ramp say hello, say goodbye we could have had so much more.
I watch you walk away slowly turn away I watch you walk away slowly turn away you're walking away.
So I happened to Catch the Ritchie Valens Story... aka La Bamba last night and it got me thinking. I was impressed how rock n roll could take a poor Mexican-American kid and help him transcend the walls around him. Race, Class, education levels, etc.. Were all overcome and scaled by his dreams and talent. It got me think how that embodies the American Dream if you will. Where the pauper can rise to the level of King. The story is similar in Elvis, Warhol, and continues on. I always noticed in my town growing up of class difference and covert class and racism... These things you could transcend by be talented in sports and arts. You could earn your welcome into their palace of wisdom and wealth. yes freedom exists in a school book... but talent can help you climb these walls in our society. ya Rock n Roll, it's the American Dream ya My Life was Saved by Rock n Roll.
My horoscope could not be more of a truism for not just today but... from this day on: Isn't it time you connected with some people who want to change the world as much as you do? Eclectic, creative types like yourself thrive when they're surrounded by similar mental and emotional energy, so look for ways to hook up with others who have the same kind of altruistic impulses that you do. The stars definitely say that being grounded in some satisfying group interaction is exactly what you need at this time.
While lost in a city, or losing yourself somewhere you're exploring the gold you find are those unexpected moments where you are witness to a brief second where time stands still and the world hushes.. and you know it, you know that moment just added to the color of your soul, it could be a change of temperature, a smiled shared lovers stealing a kiss or discovering your reflection in some corner of the world unknown. yes I like those moments
This song is for someone I care about... I was moved about where they are in their life. A closing of one door and an opening of another... but what's on the other side of the door is always hard to know. That cloud of the unknown that can sit so still infront of us can be daunting to even approach, let alone dive right into. "if its okay" So this is a song letting her know, its okay... enjoy
the sun rose a tune played to welcome me to today "after the years you give in vain reaching out to feel again I can give you what your looking for well I know its coming someday in the pit of every morning well I know it all too well know it all too well" a glass of water quenched my dry throat the shower was hot on my spine, sore from the weight on my shoulders. a look at my birthday suit "Is that what a 28 year old looks like?" press a shirt dress search for my protective eyewear, "there are my sunglasses." grab my bag - out the door
a world opens to me laughter echoes in the front stoop as children giggle and chase each other to school. the sun is warm on my face and shielded by my sunglasses. I smile up to the heavens air of elegance, perfume of a passing lady fills my nose my heal hits brick in a controlled fall I make my way to the work day silence and calm surrounds me by the time I am in the middle of the park even as hustle fills the pathways then distant bells ring out, are they ringing out for me? a squirrel stops right in front of me, I nearly trip over him I stop, smile, lean forward to looks at him, "hello, there!" the excited animal runs a circle around me and off again. "that was quite a Disney moment!" I muse. on my way "who said by the time one is 28, one has become who one will be for the rest of one's life?" I wonder as I gaze into an image of me reflected in the polished steel of the elevator doors, "Is that so?" Maybe not for this life. Another day forward another day wanting a kiss another day trying to exorcise my words, my songs, my dreams from my heart to make them physical make it real to make this life so much more.
the day of my birth, the anniversary of when I entered this light when the first gasping gulp of air entered my lungs and filled them with song so I sing on this day happy birthday.
so often I write songs, where i am trying to sort out the grays of this world... cause this world is not black n white. Then sometimes, rarely, someone comes along and fills my heart with song... and then it overfills... and I sing... so monday night I was overflowing... and recorded this... yes its sweet and very happy... and rough. (with lots of melodica) "if it's okay" Umm I think it starts about 56 seconds into the song... I tried to set it to in Itunes... dont know if it stays when you listen... anyways enjoy.
Hola all just a quick post... I had an absolute great time Friday night at the Paradise Lounge... I appreciate all who came to hear me, and then just generally enjoy the evening and other acts. So what did you miss? Well I worked out some acoustic versions of my tunes (stars above, stranger, muse), and despite some technical difficulties with my acoustic's pick-ups, the show went on, and went well. Best news of this is that in October I will be a featured act there (I believe the 5th). That means I will get to perform a slew of my favorite tunes for you all in a great venue. Also, I plan to get some friends to pick up some instruments and back me up to help fill out the sound. Anyways... I hope this finds you all well and you all had a wonderful long weekend like I did. Ciao -bv
This friday any time after 8 (as I dont know the exact time) I will be playing the singer-songwriter open showcase at the paradise lounge. www.thedise.com I think I will be doing two tunes... Come and show support if you can, stay for a drink or two, and lets have a grand ol time out music and a lovely summer night. If things go well there is a possibility of playing the show case in a month or two (5-6 songs) The sound system is brilliant, the scene is great, and Bilvox will be back in it.
when am I going to find out find out what its all about in all these hopes and all these dreams I want to feel all the beauty you see don't loose your voice the voice in your head you gotta dream up a new world to live in.
If you cant break or tear down these walls paint them with your soul the spectrum of your heart the streets you walk crack underfoot your head's in the sand and a berlin wall's in your heart my arms around the world trying to carry this weight some day I will learn to let go until then will you wait?
Last night I had an amazing evening. I was able to catch my favorite singer songwriter at the paradise, and he just put on a wonderful show, which just inspires and encourages me further. Mark Geary, he is on itunes... so buy his record, see him live, write him fan mail etc... I had the great chance of meeting him months and months ago after he opened up for a great Irish band 'The Frames'. He arrived from NY then in a hurry and nearly had a car accident and was rather flustered, but still was able to transcend that and let go.. to put on a great show. His lyrics and songwriting impressed me and blew me away. I was at a time after being wounded from a break-up in a creative and emotional lull. I was spent. He helped me, sparked the creative side in me again. After that show I picked up his album and on the way out ran into him and had to say cheers and thank you... Well we ended up talking for a while about performing, creating, connecting to the audience.. and letting go to do this... He wouldn't have guessed how much I needed that conversation, and how valuable it was to me. ...and I wouldn't of guessed he would have remembered my face, name, or whoever this admirer and musician was. so from this... I pushed things forward.. encouraged and energized. I spent a day at the mfa found myself in the middle of an empty room surrounded by Edward Hopper's paintings... from a line of his I wrote of my ordeal etc... "I lost a Lover". It all came out, all the lyrics flowed from my heart. It was art inspiring other art... so to him I am indebted, and thankful. That's what I planned to say to him if I had the chance to meet him again. Thank You. I was signed up for a Unitedway 5k race last night and once I received an email about him coming to Boston last night I ditched it for his show. Once again he put on a wonderful show. His ability to connect with the crowd, move them with his rhythm, his heart, chords, amazing strumming style and lovely lyrics once again impressed and moved me. (and all there) After the show I went with CD in hand planning to give it to him and say thanks, after of course reintroducing myself. I was taken back, he remembered my face and all we had to do was catch up... Once again it was great to talk further with him... and I did my best to convince him to come back to Boston as soon as he can. Its such a great thing to make these connections to like minded artists, song writers... it all connects to my want to have all like-minded positive artists to have alike a loose group of support and creative encouragement a scene of sorts... (please scoll to entry from date 3-29-2004) Painters, musicians (classical and modern), poets, filmmakers, designers, philosophers... band together... Helping each other out with projects in anyway.. pushing a collective movement and positive artistic force forward. this world, my world need this. Yours too... drop a line if you wanna join the scene... negatives, downtrodders, energy vampires need not apply...
Broken and lost on your path Your footsteps scattered across this town This century's so young but wears so old It's too early for you to lose the plot I'ld open your heart Try to pull it apart Make your eyes shine bright To make the endless static cease
These hands were made to heal To heal your heart To make right what was broke and lost in the night
we're all looking for colors in the sound we're all lost in this turning sea
but I'ld pull a star from the night just to see your eyes be the light in my life ya I'ld pull the stars from the night just to see your eyes be the stars in my life Ooo you're the one Ive wanted You're the one I need Just wait for me one more day.
the streets you walk crack underfoot under the weight of your heart your head's in the sand and a berlin wall's in your heart my arms around the world trying to carry this weight reaching for you on the otherside some day I will learn to let go until then will you wait?
soon the symphony will surge and the sea will swell will you be my guiding light home?
I'll pull the stars from the night just to see your eyes be the light in my life ya I'ld pull the stars from the night just to see your eyes be the stars in my life Ooo you're the one Ive wanted You're the one I need Just wait for me one more day.
the willows begin to sway nothing precious nothing gold can stay
weeding a garden, lowes, painting, moving... yikes what am I an old man? so yeah, I am headlong into fixing up my new place. weeding the patio, the garden, planting, painting, fixing, all this and im only renting! well it will be a good place once all is set.. i hope... today I move the big stuff... so if you wanna help... all I can promise and pay you in is alcohol, and sing you a song... yeah... peanuts I know... oh well. ;-)
How could you turn so quick turn to not care laying in deafening silence this welcome quiet soon the symphony will surge and this surrounding sea will swell and you will drift away as i swim against this tide of your heart drown in the cold cause I can't breathe you in your warm heart
so I a need not only a body guard, a personal assistant, but also a handeler now... someone to sit me down and slap me around when i have waves of doubt and anxiety. Currently I live with my best mate. We have a wonderful time, enjoy each other's company etc... and have a sweet flat. So I am over the next month doing a gradual move to a new place that I will be living in solo. So last nnight I walked into it and had so much frustration and anxiety cause its not as nice and new as my current place, is a fixer-upper, needs paint, some repair and a lot of weeding and planting in the garden and patio. Luckily a friend calmed me down last night as I doubted living alone, leaving my last two years living with my best friend, not being happy with the condition of the plumbing, paint job etc. So I relaxed after weeding half the patio, went inside and was okay. Worried a little more... then decided to go back to the sexy sweet bachelor establishment. As I decended the font stoop-stairs I remembered to check my mail, and low and behold I had the sweetest letter welcoming me to my place and wishing me luck in my move as I opened a new door to this next chaapter of my life. exhale sitting down, I relaxed finally and took in the cool damp summer air, the beauty of Charles street at night, and smiled. maybe it wont be so bad. This morning I awoke, to the beautiful summer rising sun as it filled my apartment. The beautiful wood-work was accentuated, the light filled my room and woke me gently. The clean and modern fixtures, the available space and comfort all threw me back to that ruch of anxiety.... thus where my handeler needs to enter and sit me down and slap me about.
I saw your eyes flash in the blink of the disco's light. memories fall from me so easy yet those Iberian eyes could burn through any darkness in my mind could shine throughout the midnight hour
so... I'm related to this dude so I guess music runs in the neiders... does this mean i should try to do comtemporary versions of wagner? ya I dont think so either.
I sit on the edge of this still water a pond carved elegantly by the hands of man. the water, a wavering mirror with tremors caused by the breathe of the evening the mirror bends and reflects the heaven above deepens the blues subtle with purple highlights of orange and gold they are all enhanced, enriched by this reflective pond.
In the eye the air the clouds above seem to pose for all the passed impressionists -the only ones to ever do these environs justice.
The clouds of crystals weighted with moisture smile with the first golden light of sunset. The ghosts of the Impressionists, the only ones to ever make the lovely mother of nature blush, haunt these gardens. echoes of their colors find my eye. For a moment silence falls around me I sit motionless and I swear I just heard the day sigh.
I have spent the last few weeks accumulating a mass of business cards from realtors, viewing at least 16 apartments, singing a lease on one... backing out cause it wasn't me and had bad karma all over it. I almost paid 4,200$ in one pop for a hot place that in the end would be a very lonely place by my lonesome. It did have an awesome skylight, in great condition and was huge!... It would be the kind of place that if I had a hot little lady to live with it would be great for us. Lots of dumps, barely livable spaces, and a few nice... but way out of my price range. (That’s if I wanted to still wear decent clothes, eat, and go out once in a while.) Things I have discovered while apartment hunting... It’s a ruthless busines Jerky realtors will edge out co-workers with less experience or seniority and pressure you in to a financially big decision that last at least 12 months. Don’t forget the double talk, misspeak, and lingo... Cozy means small Garden-level means basement Great space means its weirdly shaped and awkward apartment that no normal furniture will fit in. In good repair means its a sh%t-hole and needs repairs. High ceilings mean the ceilings are higher than the room is wide. A professionally managed building means some company is just barely making livable conditions for college kids that don't care or will be too drunk to notice how crappy it is. Steps from everything means it’s not near a damn thing you need. Subway at your front door means the entrance to the T station is adjacent to your front door and you will only be able to sleep between quiet periods when the train isn’t running. No matter what listing you find and ask to see you will probably see it only after seeing 4 other crap ones or never, possibly getting the excuse "OH that is an old listing, you wouldn’t like it anyways." THEN WHY THE HELL do you have it on your website, on craigslist, AND posted on your front door!? If you see something you're mildly interested in you will be told its about to go, someone else was going to put a down payment on it in an hour, or this is a real gem never lasts long. OH! The best is the baiting techniques: "I don’t know if you would be interested in this but..." is a common phrase. Or "this just came on the market today... I shouldn’t really be showing it yet, but for you..." The best realtor I met was honest, cool, and not pushy. If you need a guy ask me, I will send you his email, he will tell you what he has and like it is, while being nice and not pushy. So it looks like I found something, so cross your fingers... and what brilliant, amazing, dynamic, looking-out-for-you realtor ended up finding me this brilliant place??? craigslist... fo sure! The flat is perfect for me, a good size, right in the thick of things, good condition, I can be loud as all hell because surrounding me are day businesses, AND... has a building sized back yard patio it’s freakin huge and amazing.. and its only for my use. You could have room for patio furniture, a huge grill, an above ground pool, and an herb-flower garden. so if I get it... Gatsby party my place! Wow, we'll see... :-) Seriously though... keep the closest weekend to sept. 19th (my b-day) open, and maybe biltoberfest in October. yeeah
Comments:
there are no flats in boston...only apartments -- cozy ones at that.
Any of those things were you list your favorite bands and musicians is so hard for me... so to get a sense of what I like, here is a snap shot of what I am listening to. This is my current summer 2005 ipod play list (so far): (If you will my "Summer is Easy" mix or my "I've got soul but im not a soldier" mix)
Dimitri from Paris - Prologue The Killers - All these Things That I've Done Elkland - Talking On the Phone Stereophonics - Dakota The Eels - Mr. E's Faboulous Blues Travis - Walking In the Sun Oasis - Love Like A Bomb The Verve - This Could be My Moment The Doors - I looked at You Coldplay - Fix You Bright Eyes - One Foot in Front of Another U2 - Whose Gonna Ride Your Wild Horses (Temple Bar Remix) Bloc Party - This Modern Love Gorillaz - Feel Good Inc. Chris Issak - South of the Border Damien Rice - Cannonball Dimitri from Paris - Un Termede Passengers - Theme from Let's Go Native Royksopp - Poor Leno The Stone Roses - Shoot you Down (Soul Hooligan Mix) Jeff Buckley - Last Goodbye Mark Geary - It Beats Me Stan Getz/Astrud Gilberto - Girl From Impanema Primal Scream - Star David Gray - Forever is Tomorrow is Today
My heart today is with the people of London. I am so sorry that terror and fear have planted a deadly and vicious seed today. In a world where we are all hungry for peace, its sad to see extremes and absolutes block the sunshine with such dark clouds.
this exibit very much embodies the hope I have... for what we need is an understanding of a coexistence
Make poverty History In this time in our world when it has become so small and we truely are a global people... we should start living that way... tare down these walls that divide. check these sites out... read the info... make something happen... god sakes let's do something that really matters for once... we're only human, all of us... and its only us here... take those blinders off. http://www.makepovertyhistory.org/ http://www.one.org/
The gap between the world's rich and poor has never been wider. Malnutrition, AIDS, conflict and illiteracy are a daily reality for millions.
But it isn't chance or bad luck that keeps people trapped in bitter, unrelenting poverty. It's man-made factors like a glaringly unjust global trade system, a debt burden so great that it suffocates any chance of recovery and insufficient and ineffective aid.
via spain: 6-12-05 Last night I had the most delicious sangria and tried some of the local rioja wine. The Sangria was perfectly sweet and cooling in the warm summer night. Up Las Ramblas a cool mediterranian summer breeze made its way to to me sitting in a cafe. On Las Ramblas I sat with a chilled drink in hand while the sounds of excitement and smells of spice were a mix all around. As this breeze found me and together with this sweet spainish beverage I felt my soul sigh. For a brief moment, here in my life, the world on my sholders fell away and I released all I held on to. The smile that found me stayed on my face for the night as I sat, sipped, and watched this world around me. Prime people watching; Dramas playing out, lovers lost in each other, revelry of friends old and new... in this spainish night. After my sangria mixed with people watching I wandered the quieting streets of the drunk Saturday night. I was drunk not on just the sangria but the mediterraian air, the friendly faces, and Barcelona itself... an intoxicating place. I turned a corner and then I found myself upon a soccer game in a medieval cobble-stone square. One side you see tables and chairs locked up for the night, a modern building highlighting some local artists and then in another side a church and buildings rich with character older than my country stood, beautifully aged and an amazing testiment to the city's rich history. In one area of this vast square a gaggle of guys from various ages, countries, and of fitness levels were engaged in a friendly game of soccer. Watching for a few minutes and marveling at this... I realised: I've got to join up! I motioned for me to join and in hand jestures and smiles they greated me and had me join up. It was brilliant. We played for quite a while. Heading, faking out, sprinting, sweating, laughing, scoring, cheering, slapping backs and hands in approval and joy of scoring, it was pure enjoyment of the sport and each other. I don't think we were people who might agree on politics, music, or religion.. but for one hour this night we all we united and bonded by the sport and the pure enjoyment of this soccer game. After we all nearly collapsing from exhaustion we sat in the square introduced each other, shook hands, laughed a bit and then all parted ways into the night. I made it back to my flat, undressed and fell onto my bed shaking my head and laughing to myself. Such a great night... one of many great nights here in Barcelona. I then stood up on my bed looked out at the city alight with the glow of the street lamps, below the people making their way home from their night out; singing arm in arm, laughing, and stumbling. Past the people and the city, towards the sea, I could see sunlight just breaking through the night about to kiss this city. inhale, exhale and then flat on my back again... happy.
via spain: 6-12-05 I just realised something; not a single person knows where I am or what I am doing right now... wow, what a liberating Idea... all I can do is smile at the thought of this freedom. absolutely brilliant!
sometimes I wish I was someone else... maybe then we could meet again, and I could maybe get things right this time. appreciate your smile a little more... kiss your face once more take in the perfume on your skin again not let go of you as we slept next to each other if we met again maybe i could get something right
but me Im just a green eyed boy with green eyed wishes
Wow, I saw a bullfight... I found this antiquated massive brick and tile arena after some wandering through the city for an hour. There it was with many little old Spanish affectianos for the sport gathering in one area to discuss the pending match, the better matadors etc... and another area the super touristy looking crowd; cameras around neck, fanny-packs, and guide books for all to see. I wandered over to where the ticket windows are to have one of the old affectianos approach me, "only general admission left." "oh, I'm sorry, what's that?" I respond completely confused. He said he could tell I was a tourist looking to see a bull fight and if I really wanted to see it, he would sell me one of his tickets. He showed me a picture where I would be if i went to the ticket window and purchased a G.A. ticket, then where his seat was... so I decided to go for his ticket... we haggled on the price in a good natured way. In parting he did a weird tug-pinch of the cheek thing to me and told me to enjoy it and said he know i would. So I made my way in and wow, my seat was great! I was close to the ring and had good view of the bull entrance, from where the various matadors and horses entered, and could see where the master of the bullfight/judge sat. I was a little weary that i might find it gruesome or unbearable, but i completely was enthralled by the spectacle and show of it all. it was quite an amazing experience, like from another time and place completely. "the Sun Also Rises" totally prepared me for it and what to look for in a good and bad bull as well as a good and bad matador. It was the Sunday night event for the attendees, the upper class all dressed up and ready, the old affectianos with their papers and programs. Then of course the random foreigner, not sure what to expect or if it will be gruesome. BTW when the matador and bull were top form... it was a graceful waltz with the matador leading the Bull in this dance. The talented matadors were so very entertaining and played off of the drama of the event and drew the crowd in and held us all in his hand. We yelled out in hope and relief "Ole!" as the bull swiped near the Matador and missed. The bulls were so very fierce and very very deadly. They swiped their horns like Hemmingway says; like boxer swinging out for a K.O. You could hear the echo and thud as the bull made contact with the wood the matador would leap behind for safety, it was that sort of thud that permeated your body and chilled your spine. When the first matador finished the bull in one swipe of the sword, he did it with such accuracy that the bull dropped dead almost immediately. The Matador after the death strike, turned walked away as the area vibrated with the irruption of cheers and clapping from the crowd. Then he half turned back to the still standing bull, waved his red cape, and with that movement the bull fell dead. The Crowd roared and everyone took out their handkerchiefs and waved them in approval. Then every attendee looked to the judge... was he going to give his approval to the matador as one of honor? Yes Of course... the crowd irrupted again, and the matador made his way around the arena as he passed areas flowers and bladders of wine were thrown to him. Ladies would throw their scarfs and he would throw back. (For you animal lovers.... they have a butchery in the back and immediately carve it up and feed the poor, I know for me I was concerned about a possibility of cruelty, but the animal was feared and respected.) So it was an amazing experience... Tonight there is some club that has jazz hiphop fusion... I will let you know how that goes... I am sad to be leaving this wonderful city. I have met many great people, seen beautiful sights, faces, and hearts... and all it does is add to the hues I work from as I write, as I live... ah barcelona... you beautiful gem. -bv
cross this off the list, last night.. or this morning really I salsa-ed until the sunrose... well upon it about to do so. two new friends and I went down to the beach and watched the sun rise over the sea... So very amazing and beautiful to see this big red-orange orb blurred with intense heat rise over a very chilly sea. My legs tired and damp from dancing and wading in the sea, I wandered up las ramblas in time for the opening of this big open air market for the day. I picked up some fresh cheese, warm bread, and veggies then promptly stumbled back to my flat... passed out, exhausted and happy. this is how to do it... live in the moment... After a brief and intoxicated sleep we met up again to wander and explore the royal spainish gardens upon one hill looking over Barcelona. We slowly made our way down and watched this fountain display that is synched with various classical and pop music... I am so very tired from all the antics, dancing, and wandering with this hungry eye. Barcelona, so lovely Hmm more sangria exploration I think is needed... hasta la ciao ciao... xo
Hola I am currently writing from a dodgey internet cafe in the old district of Barcelona, I have little clue of what day, time, or .. much of anything meaning I am having a brilliant time,. yesterday I spent most the day recovering from the night before and in the picasso museum, today in the gruel park, and miro museum. The city is a gem, shining, rare, and beautiful. The people are friendly, welcoming, and inviting. I have passed out many copies of my cd to strangers and folks I meet. I went and bought jeans in my favortie shop that hasno chains in the states and gave a cd to a girl I was flirting with and she went and put it on the system.. then the workers there had me sing along to a few of the songs cause first they didnt believe it was me... then they wanted more... oh such an embarassing event at first I totally blushed... then my ego got very stroked by all of this... ha okay I should go ... the cafes, the sea, the beautiful city, the ancient building and a fascinating culture awaits me... plus maybe more sangria and some good eats... Oh tomorrow, more museums, more wine, more stories...thjis is so poorly written.. çjust want to shout out a HI HOla and say.. Im alive and very very well in Barcelona... oh and I love this city and dancing until the sun rises... kisses a stranger in a strange and beautiful land -bilvox
two weeks ago in a frustrated strung out artistic guy in a corporation can't find bandmates how much for a pressing of 500cds? damn women, damn whiskey, damn cold where is the sun... way I cashed in my hoard of frequent flyer miles and I am bording a plane in a bit for a solo trip to Barcelona. My friends reactions to my trip have been mixed either; "wait wa huh? by yourself??? weird." or "Awesome you are gonna soak it up" Of course I am a little anxious about a solo trip, but excited for a week in a country that I will be discovering with a guide book, my wandering exploration, and a hungry heart... ready to soak in the experience. Complete disconnection from the day to day, everyday strings that try to tie me more firmly to where I am, and what they want. Disconnect from my concerns, my immediate wants, and the wall infront of my face. A perspective change, an opening of my mind, and hopefully a moment of clarity on the moment I now live in and the directions I should and want to take. We will see, but the more I think of it the more I am hungry for such a journey and this anxious waiting... builds.. Plus I am flying on lufthansa and will get to try out my german ;-)
So Here I am, last minute laundry, music blaring, and sorting through what I want to bring and what I have room for in my wee bag. The journey ahead anticipation unexpectating hopeing
I lay there tired naked no walls to hide these wounds I could connect, tell you how it is how it was
27 years on I've reached out reached for more searched for me heaven in her arms I searched for a sancuary a soft safety something familiar in a stanger's face every finger of yours as it ran over my chest where a heart should shine I wished you could reach inside reach inside me run your healing hands through my rain inside the rain inside clense all whom bathe in my rain warm in my sun believe in this storm
we can't stay here now stay until dawn pulls us into another day we must leave let this night die let us be reborn in the rising sun the shifting tide. with our eyes closed and our minds clearing this page will be blank and the poem we are will start anew
I think it is clumsy and lacking respect to the survivors of any gulag to freely call any human rights violation situation, such as what is going on, one. I think they are crying foul against A.I. and maybe should re-read the un declaration of human rights.
Sounds nice and sweet. But there is a problem, both parties must agree. Your current enemy would rather cut your throat. And a question, does this document apply to all members of the UN Security council? Or, just the evil and ignorant US of A.
Yes, a stranger in a strange land... Last week I came to the realization I truly need to go be that for a week or two. The rain in Boston was bringing me down, and generally the drudgery of all. So I called USAir ways and I am cashing in my frequent flyer miles for a solo week in Barcelona Spain... cha cha cha! In about a week from now I am off to for a week of sun, museums, beaches, relaxation, and just disconnecting from all in my life. I decided to just rent a flat on a square near the top of las ramblas, right in the heart of the city. I will be able to write, decompress and live inside of my mind while taking in a city rich of culture and a people so very rich in living life. I was there once before, many years ago when I was living abroad and studying for a semester in Holland. I think I had like 30 bucks in my pocket for the three days I spent there... It was a very bohemian experience, but I had a great time. The Picasso museum, the markets, the sun, the nightlife all stayed with me and now I am off to seek that and so much more. If I can I might bring my guitar, but I will have my journal and a hungry heart for sure. I am so looking forward to being a stranger in a strange land indeed. Drop me a line if you have any suggestions... of places, events, experiences to try out.
Comments:
Must be great being an American. I'm sure you are proud. We over here in Europe are going down the tubes. Bring much American money!
what are you talking about? pride has nothing to do of it... I am not proud of the american imperialism that exists today... perhaps at times I am ashamed of the flag that waves over me... yes I am... but doesnt mean through hope and living in the world we can dream up we cant make a change.. I have hope... and hope is the greatest thing. :-)
take from me your pleasure take from me your pain let me be your rain let me be your something more let me make it alright let me last through the night
when extremes are taring the world from your heart taring the world in two when your absolute fails I will be you balencing act your voice of reason for reasons I dont know.
when that hand used to land on your face you would stiffen your chin hold your feet in place then when the fist would punch a hole though your heart you let your hand learn the moves and now you practice on me
I lay, I lie wishing the sun would stay undercover for this day I rise with the setting tide of hearts calming but its too late too late for you for me too late for dancing against the beat being in love with ghosts your too tired to sleep too tired to dream but a new years a new day a sun to rise a psalm of your love for love could finally turn this world, change a mind and then everything in your heart the heart in my hands would turn out allright
take from me pleasure share with me your pain and the cool drench of rain will move on.
so I won a free luxury car rental for this weekend. I have at my control a black hard-top convertable mercedes benz slk 2door sports car. wow such an awesome little vehicle. so i drove my friend way out of the city after work then found myself blasting some of my favorite tunes.. and then like a meglomaniac blasting my own tunes at 11 singing along at the top of my lungs. ('Take me away (an angel passes)' is my favorite I have discovered... its great especially cruising down newbury street, 'I lost a lover' of course I had to blast as I drove past "her" neighbourhood/street. Television Sky is genius when cruising down boylston through the heart of backbay city area.) Its such a freeing feeling driving with this top down, music blasting, and me hitting illeagal speeds and leaving the rest in the dust.. as I go hoarse singing along with my fav stereophonics tunes, bloc party, u2, and mine. so already it has payed off for shits n giggles... alone I pulled up to a stop light at arlington street about to do a newbury st cruise and a stretch limo suv pulls up full of young cute dressed up posh girls out for the evening... "hey!" (i turn angel passes down to hear) "Hi there!!!" I smirk and flash a peace sign to a girl sticking her head out a window. I turn around, face forward laughing. "Hey man!" I turn and see two other girls hanging out of windows and another out of the roof. "Hey Your car!" "What? Oh Yeah?" I responding laughing "Your car is hot..." one girl shouts "...and so are you! hot boy!" shouts the one out the top "yeah you're f*cking hot, so is your car!" says another out the side Laughing and blushing, " Thank you, you are all very lovely!" I kiss my hands and throw my kisses they giggle "who are you?" "I'm Bilvox!!" I yell "Your hot Bilvox!" she responds I laugh and peel out... they wave in my rear view mirror --- I laugh and finally realise I am completely comfortable with being "Bilvox" finally I have often felt cheesey or contrived introducing myself as this, but always felt okay when friends or randoms call me "Bilvox". I guess when young cute girls treat you like a popstar... a name like "Bilvox" fits... and I can finally now I feel walk this earth comfortable in that skin of Bilvox. yeah.. this car is hot... that alone makes it worth driving it... sweet, funny cool moments like that make life worth a lot more... especially for any artist's fragile ego. cheers girls... thanks
Comments:
what the hell?! you didn't drive that piece down to NYC?!
sometimes when the rain is just like this it takes me to a place I remember so very well. Is it the smell of this chilled spring rain or the tap and ambient drops of the sky hitting newly forming leaves... maybe this amazing return to a green world out of the gray. I see this valley, the blanketed hills of thick growth of forest and underbrush, the cool humid mist that hangs in the lowest curve in the feild. I can feel the cool crisp creek water in which I used to build minature hoover dams trying to create a pool big enough so as to dangle my pigeon-toed feet in. brr it was like ice on the tips of my toes to smell that damp earth again to see this valley would be nice --- sometimes my heart has such a heavy longing and i just can't quiet understand for what. is it the past? memories fading maybe the future? all my could be's is it a love lost, or one not found yet? that restless ever-longing burn in the center of my chest tugs at me... won't let me get comfortable or leave me alone sometimes I can't understand what it wants... to connect to a forgotten past run forward and embrace the future to live to be in the NOW I don't know
but on night like this... in the dark of my bedroom as stray drops tap the panes of my windows as I remember the lush green of all the springs past my heart burns longs and leaves my soul so restless. and all i want is to slip into my dreams and tomorrow wake up in the now.
sometimes, I drink Ow... so if anyone saw me at fireplace last night in brookline area please let me know what happened after the jazz started and the bottle of wine was half full... and before I woke up for work. thanks... do check that place out though, great wine and jazz. Also the people that work there are so very cool. cheers err maybe not for now... ow
10 things to do (in my humble opinion) to make this world better:
1. Hug more. The physical contact we miss so and long for is lost in the cold digital age... (as I respond to an IM and blog) 2. Say "hello" smile and look people you talk to in the eye. Kind-of is in line with number 1. we need to connect more. 3. Listen to more music, sing along, and hum when you can... its the sound of someone's heart... let it enter yours 4. let your self laugh 5. let it go (i know I will try too) 6. kiss more, love is meant to be tasted not wated... word life (just hopefull here booya!) 7. tell that person you care about respect or appeciate.. that you do. 8. Turn off the tv, talk to the person next to you, or if no one is next to you read a book or the nytimes. 9. donate at least 20 schnots (local currency) to a charity or cause you think is right. 10. believe in what you know true - the people you love and the life you live. Don't waste your faith on lies.
oh p.s. send me 100$ each of you ... it will make my world better ;-)
I am right now in bed reading.. (blogging too) with my window open at the top of my bed and this cold, damp, fresh air enters my room over my bed. under my blankets and comforter I say warm and relaxed. I love doing this. If I had a working fireplace in my room, I would have one crackling away. I could stay here all day. I will hide from the world, warm and safe, for once for just a while.
a single pure white petal hits my check unexpectingly cool upon my face it feels as if a single tear fell from my eye so green it's as if it fell to remind me of what it is like to be touched or kissed upon my cheek its been so long startles me to feel something there I am reminded of the kisses of eyelashes upon my skin so soft lips full cool upon the skin cooling to my heated heart lips that could have never stayed too long disarming fingers that would trace my germanic jaw-line from my ear down my chin to my full pouting anticipating lips I kissed your fingertips. they waved goodbye
Her lips of so long ago... I forget how they tasted forget the taste of her breathe as she exhaled so silently. I wonder now, where do your lips now frown or smile so fully? I wonder when does the sun shine upon those eyes I once looked to for assurence. How's Greg? Do you have kids yet? I bet they are sweet. I wonder not of desire or longing... I know you are a different you and me... I dont know me. I wonder cause my heart is easy and I care too easy touch my heart and your finger-print will forever stay. this delicate heart has moved on so many years ago but these falling petals remind me of all kisses past
These lips these lips of yours I think of now... the lips I see before me. The ones I long to taste to close my eyes smell your skin and feel your pulse as it moves through your heart. I want to know you hear the poems in your head the laughter from your heart. who knows if you want to taste the salt on my tongue see my smile in the morning hear me sing in your ear as you drift to sleep beside me I want to sing every poem every wish
I look up now to where from the petal fell bleach white tops of trees line the path ahead so many tears to fall so many kisses to taste so far to go.
happy spring
Comments:
this is by far my favorite "musing." it's beautiful.
I am happy to say I have finally finished a cool tune that I have come back to after many mixes, remixes, re-recording, scraping and recording again. now a days (it's only temporary) Thanks to Eric "General Dogsbody" for all his continued support and inspiration for this tune... His story was the muse for me, for this... This is for him, for his book, and for his wonderful friendship. cheers -bv
oh wine... you go right to my head! I end up with a million thoughts in my head, coversations on phones, messages sent... that are fogged from my memory. damn open apology my peeps :-\
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Oh you drunk! hahaha, just kidding... you did send texts though.. very funny, long and short of it: "miss you guys, hugs, miss you, hope all is well, hugs, come visit, no I will come visit, hugs, cheers, cheers, ciao, hasta la pasta, cheers."
things I want to do: (not necisarily today... but soon) climb machu pichu water ski again fall asleep on a beach in the Mediterranean after a night of dancing and drinking paint again take some interesting black and white pictures and then develop them myself (i miss the smell of the chemicals, weird huh?) get a vespa have cheese fondue (word Gisa!) go to a psychic (as noted in a previous post) get really tan from a beach outing and again be mistaken for being spainish :-) see my friend eric in L.A and give him a big hug and tell him how proud I am of him in person (he just got another short story published and his book "its only temporary" is what the lyrics i wrote for "now a days" is based off of.) have a photo-shoot with this guy I met that works for hotpress mag in Ireland but takes picts here in Boston for my album finish my album have the new SEXY! website up soon. laugh until I cry and yell through tears of laghter.. "stop stop it hurts!" have a salad at a newbury street resturant and people watch. spend a day in the mfa paint my room ox blood- deep red find someone to kick my soccer ball around with me in the park on weekends dance until my legs hurt at a concert and\or club take a boat tour on the nile river stopping at all sorts of bazaars and pyramids. go to tokyo, get lost in the neon night see my german cousin surf in australia bungee jump in new zealand do a winery tour at penfolds play a live show with such passion and so emotive that tears are shead and hearts soar. go to a symphony show hear the tune and words in your head see Sewickley and walk the streets I once did as a young fellow but only for a weekend. be unexpectantly and pleasently surprised by a kiss go sailing with my aunt and uncle snorkleing too. be a doctor and volunteer in countries where I would save lives. walk through boston playing my guitar, it would be fun to see the reactions of people. write a film, develop a book idea co-star in a travel show. get rid of college loans spend a week in a city other than boston with a guitar, a laptop and a good friend. hold hands while watching a movie. write better songs be a better person save the world save you
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Billy Neid is what keeps life flowin' from one day to the next!! I'll be chatting with a renowned psychic -- look up PSYCHIC JANET MOORE online -- this coming Monday. If she's the real deal, I'll let you know, 187. PEACE OUT, you Beautiful King.
I was watching a muted television that had the begining of George W's press conference. I wondered as he walked down this long corridor if that was the way napoleon walked towards the national assembly. No grace, no posture, or stately aire. A man appearing too like a monkey to lead people. ( i love monkeys btw. but not this guy) This dwarfed, overwhelmed-looking man wearing make-up too obvious and confusion too deeply trenched in his blood shot eyes... was attempting to convince and appeal to a nation an idea that was empty or a philosophy grounded not on bedrock but of a withering sandy coast-line. I laughed out loud, chuckling to myself at the absurdity of this person... the obvious ignorance and lack of grace. Then I became melancholy... a lot of people buy this crap... damn... socratic debates, challenging ideas, is what we need more of... no more Myrmidons
--- on a side note try muting vh1 classics while watching those rediculous music videos of long ago... they are hilarious and a weird juxtaposition while listening to music you dig.
cheers its almost the freakin weekend... word
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Down with GWB! Fortunately I missed his press conference ...
"she is a tear that hangs inside my soul forever" -jeff buckley That is so lovely. I saw a wonderful documentary on him Sunday and so now I have been headlong into discovering his words and music... so very inspiring.
Would you rather be a bright burning blinding light that streaks across the night of this life... or a dim constant forgettable light? A sun to shine on all, to give warm and light... life. Strive to be a spark in the night, to set fire to hearts to be a contageous burning desire. choose... choose your life... that brilliant flash, the soft way about you a smile so disarming, honest grace in your movement through life. a bared soul a life understood, a world yet known a life desired to know... to experience a million suns shine in your eye a million flashes in our lives, our "could be's" chances of effecting, a chance for something more.. I don't know... I may just be a fool with wishes too big for my life... for my world... but i wish for you. I want more... I want for you.
So I had psychic reading about a year ago when I was last in Holland, and it was very cool and she totally nailed how the year would shape up... as far as I recall. I was rather drunk... and so since then I have always wanted to go to another to get a reading etc... yet Im too chicken... anyone want to go with me? sorry totally random thought for the day... haha
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umm, hello? we've had these tentative NYC psychic trip plans for like years now!
Hey There I just finished a final mix on that post post post modern weird political cool song... It was lacking a few things like a keyboard part, some additional lyrics, and louder guitar riffs... so here it is now Television Sky one down... two more songs to go...
Its interesting how even a subtle change in an angle, or how you look at something can change your perspective, your view... My flat-mate and I drove around Boston last night in a hot little audi TT and the city was so different to me. It is a whole different experience then me footing it around... I felt that from this car I had distance from the city, an ability to see it as a whole. It's a lovely city... this Boston. It may not be where I'm from, but it is where my heart roams... for now.
Comments:
Your right that song... lts political, post modern... like ZooTV on crack... Your heros would be proud!
these words my poetry is the only fist I can make, the only flag I dare wave, is the book I lay my right hand upon. some of these words turn sour some of these turn gold they can be everything true and everything untold they can be the bitter words, response to your letters of question they can cut you down with one verse... instead my hand runs still and my mouth silent... shhh
Um... I was just reviewing my site statistics... 10% of people found bilvox.com by searching with the key words "love slaves". that's weird... sooooo weird
(heart-on-sleeve) With all that goes on in our day-to-day lives we forget that these things, these obstacles in our way don't have to be... and can be managed. There are so many people out there that need greater help and support. As wrapped up I get in working and dedicating myself to my music, I feel that supporting these organizations that help make our time here on earth better is important. There is strength in numbers... so be a number of one these groups... They do this world good. These are two I belong to... Oxfam Amnesty International We are all humans, and should treat each other as such...
I heard your distant static voice contained in the bandwidth of a cell phone from the other side of the country from the other side of the last 5 years a flash back to an image of you then the political rally the candidate arriving across the water the energy the hope of a new century a new millennium emotionally charged, politically dramatic words filled the air reached our ears and sunk to our hearts I looked at you next to me you raised your arm with purpose you extended your hand with confidence your fingers formed a peace sign with such definition I thought you could stop any war with the conviction in your fingertips Your strength, conviction, humbled the heart on my sleave. faith and belief in the future defined that hour you made that day. I miss you in this city too How time and distance so divide friends and hearts!
howdy... Ugh so I say sorry now to my friends... (consider this an open letter of sorts) I’m about to disappear into work for the next two weeks with this huge global live summit thing... and also last (for real this time) of the music polishing.
12 tracks though... (Go to the music section and download while you can.) I believe in them and think they are solid. I’m proud, happy with the work, depth, and growth I have gone through shown in the tunes since the crumble of my old band the spark and then carrying on. It took awhile to find the love for it again, the joy, and my own voice rather than writing and thinking for that and with my influences weighing to heavily on me. Its been a strange last 2 years of crying, frustration, soul searching, dark times, bright times, love tasted love lost friends gained and taken away. I have been able to rebuild my confidence and drive thanks to YOU. Yes those reading that believe in me, support, encourage, and constructively guide me. It’s amazing feeling to have people connect to your "voice", your art, your projected self, soul, and heart. The Spark left me not believing in myself or anything I could do. YOU all who helped let my wings heal, let my soul shine, and kissed my wounds and stood me back on my feet. If you were one of those, Thank you. I can’t wait to bust my hiney supporting every single note and tune. I want to go out there and earn your support. To play it for anyone, everywhere, and anywhere... So... I will see y'all in a fortnight. :-) Don’t take my absence as an insult... from responding to IMs, emails, and smoke signals. muchas luvage for y'all -bilvox
So Monday was a great time at Paradise Lounge. There were so many talented sing-songwriters and musicians. It was fun playing and meeting folks. I even got Travrock up with me. It was great, the only problem with playing later in the evening the amount of whiskey and cokes that can be consumed might interfere with playing... ;-) Was a great time any which way... I am going to see how to be a featured act there one night in the future. Next week I will be out again some day in the week to play out. I will let ya know... Im so hit with a frying pan at work lately with the load of projects... I am looking forwrad to a long weekend... shite... okay.. back to the grind... cheers -bv
after many hours... listening debating arguing crying pointing laughing a list one semi true track listing has been created for an album
1. i feel alive 2. take me away (an angel passes) 3. wilderness of your soul 4. the stranger 5. hold on to your dreams 6. blue 7. Now a Days (its only temporary) 8. I wanna Show you the Stars above. 9. Television Sky 10. Muse 11. Otherside
others... left for later... "I lost a Lover", "Stay tonight", "I wanna write my name on your heart", "times are hard for dreamers"
also the guy Im named after's son is in to scary right-wing republican stuff and he tries to pull it off like it is comprised of legitimate balenced ideas... i think I told him he would love joeseph goebels if he was alive... i dont think he found that funny like i did.
-bv
Comments:
LOL! "It's OK, he's a douchebag." There's NOTHING okay about being a douchebag, HomiNeid.
by day I produce all sorts of multimedia for a financial institution... which usually is not so very sexy or cool... sometimes at night I get to do sexy things like play a tune or two. but today at work I got to hear from and say a hello to the head of unicef... that's great. this matters... children in our world need food, education, and safety. Yes numbers aren't sexy and saddening world affairs is not sexy... but it means being a decent human... and that's the best thing you can do... be a good human. They need all our help.
I have been trying to find words to write, something to say, form a thought... I think today... I have nothing to say... or anyway to vocalise it... so i will just let these fingers run still my voice silent.
ugh, snowing here again... I think if I had a girlfriend all I would want to do today is stay in my warm bed with her and watch snow slowly accumulate on the fire-escape outside my bedroom window. Mmmm that would be the perfect day.
Lyrics to a new song... wrote the music too... if I don't end up in nyc this weekend, I shall try to record it.(not that I have a few other songs waiting to finish and rerecord vocals on now that I dont have a cold) I guess its my final goodbye to someone that was in my heart, my way of finally being over her... I think. She was someone I let in past my high walls, but she was only a tourist I guess... or didn't like what she saw, couldn't stay. My way of course to deal with such things is to use what voice (bill's voice.. bilvox.. get it?) I have that can equal a good hard cry, a scream at the top of my lungs. I guess I do it to set fire to what was still inside of me and set it free... its been eating at my heart for too long now. Time to push this life forward.. there are other beautiful smiles I long to see... I think. ----------------- You're beautiful I remember that I liked it when you smiled When your eyes smiled soft at me That was - seems so long ago. I've avoided thinking about you What you said The words you wrote so easily
Yeah, I lost a lover Maybe she left, left too soon
Maybe I'll move on Or learn to be strong Maybe I'll realize you were wrong Maybe you were wrong
Yeah, I was a believer I fought for your cause I took the front line bravely But I went down, You didn't reach out, never caught this falling heart never ran to my open arms
yeah I lost a lover she left, left too soon
Maybe I've moved on Or I've learned to be strong Maybe I finally realized you were wrong Maybe you were wrong
Maybe this city is big enough the only time I will ever see you again is your face as it turns away.
yeah I lost a lover she left, left too soon
Maybe I've moved on Or I've learned to be strong Maybe I finally realized you were wrong Maybe you were wrong
Tonight Y'all (wednesday) I'm going to head out to Tommy Doyle's in Kendal Square and play the Wheelkick Record's Singer Songwriter Showcase. The fun starts around 9pm... so come down... buy me a ginger ale as I start out with some baby steps presenting these electric songs.. live and unplugged. Don't worry I'll throw in a crowd pleasing cover in case you don't like my tunes ;-)
Next week I will try to head out to Roggies Tuesday night to Chestnut Hill Ave. in Brighton. Will Daily hosts a great show there.
Monday March 21st I am slotted to play the singer songwriter series at the Paradise Lounge, the front part of the Paradise Rock Club. that is 7pm 3-21-05 Paradise on the B-line Green line 5$ cover... should be a hot turn-out. Maybe my songs will be in good live form by then. I will also have some burned CD's to pass out. xoxo -Bilvox
someone said "where yer bloody links?" and I realised... Im retarded... okay HEY i do this all myself... sometimes... I forget the details... Okay gonna change Influences section... to links... cause that section seems pretentious I guess... okay but here are some now... this guy is brilliant... buy all his work... a wonderful and gifted songwriter and performer. I saw him the other night open for The Frames (who were brilliant as well) Mark Geary Talked to him after the show as well and he is a very cool and nice person. he is on Itunes etc...
Theirry Noir... a mauer Kunstler we should all not be afraid of walls in our life... and paint them... paint these ugly divisons with all the colors of our pallette. he wasnt afraid of the biggest wall of the 20th century.. he painted it.. the berlin wall. I love his work. the philosophy, every thing... plus he was kind enough to humble and shock me completely by signing my guestbook.
Some nights, when I lay down to bed, I look up out the window at the head of my bed and see a clear (for a city) night sky. Cool and crisp with stars shining like sharp distent points of shattered glass. Some nights, the moon is a single milky-blue spot-light upon my face. In the quiet of early dawn it wakes me with its brilliance. A couple of times this has happened, I wake to this milky ball and with a head drunk on a dream i muster a sleepy smile and close my eyes again... Inhale deep, exhale slow, and slowly I slip away to sleep. Some nights, as of late, in the cloudy cover of a north-eastern snow storm I look up to a violet and orange tinged sky with falling silent snow flakes... all this motion all these falling crystals... and it quiets a city, quiets my bedroom. tonight I lay down to shards of setting and rising suns lifetimes away flashing to my eye... I like that very much, it fills me with a soft contentment. I smile easy at this.
I have been rather productive lately... here's a new song... still needs polishing but listen away...
a new day is here the world is singing the sound in your ear an epic in a word, opera in a note the poem in your smile has gone bad Paranoid they're extreme children in the streets lets use this peace
is it raining or am I dreaming it looks like both to me
an angel passes by and we wont last
take me home... take me away I've got to go now...
step oputside the door it's a whole new world feel the sun on your face well its turned so cold the world should be singing a new song let the dreams float about you let new poems in your heart
let the colors of the night reflections of the day make it past your eye your bluest eye and set fire to your heart
take me away, Ive got to go right now take me home.
I'm so proud, happy for, excited, and pumped when a friend has good karma and success coming their way... (especially when it is so well deserved!) a great friend and uber talented writer... published one book... and now another is poised for release as well... go here "It's Only Temporary" You can read the first chapter... and be absolutely captivated by his voice/style of writing and the pull of the story...
Don't be a silly monkey... let it go... Unless your going to be like chim chim from speed racer and wear the same outfit as your owner... that's being a cool little monkey. (hmm two monkey related posts in one week...)
Just some more song writing by me... I was just messing about with a guitar, melodica, keyboard, my voice, and lyrics. "you dont know where im coming from" Not really album worthy... but nice little tune.
Hope y'all had a very lovely, love filled, and relaxing "love day". Mine was chill, and no big deal. In these times where so much negativity and worry fill our heads, airwaves, its nice some cheesey day celebrates love. Ya, I have come around in my philosophy about it since last year...
"The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think." - Horace Walpole (1717-1797)
This is such a brilliant quote I recently stumbled upon. Honestly I see so much that is funny and laughable, but also so much that is tragic and sad at times... I think that I end up somewhere in between in how Isee the world. Perhaps a tragic comedy? Hmm Hahaha, more like... Bittersweet... with Melancholy, Hopefull...
Could my Mind's eye, oh such a perfect and descerning one, ever teach my hand to be steady enough to follow the perfect curve of your cheek bones? How could I ever represent your perfect form with a brush-stroke from my shaking hand? All I know for a moment I could attempt to transcend the here and now and grasp for something more... something beautiful, lovely.
"Everthing around us, dead or alive, in the eyes of a crazy photographer mysteriously takes on many variations, so that a seemingly dead object comes to life through light or by its surroundings...to capture some of this- I suppose that's lyricism." -Josef Sudek
I spent the day at the MFA today(superbowl sunday), needing a nice day of culture, expressed humanity, love, passion, etc. There was a wonderful exhibit from a Czech Photographer, Josef Sudek. His exhibit is titled "A Poet With A Camera." That is what he is indeed. He achieves with grace and proves in his work he truely is a filter that shows us the world through his eyes and lens. The lighting, the texture, look and composition, the natural warmth, softness, all these areas he flexes his strength and resonates as a true autre of photography. I feel I can smell the rooms and subject, feel the damp Czech air. His photographs seem as like a big soft time capsule of moments, not instant harsh-sharp events, but a soft mix of a few moments all photographed together and on one piece of paper or film. Like a scene playing out or a whole movie in a single frame. His work is like reading through someone's book of poetry... thus he truely is a poet armed with but a camera.
the perfect human,
is there one
the touch of the skin
the soft behind the knee
as i reached there, held you that way
was the whisper for me, the one at the end of your breath as you slept so silently
the flame, the white burn in the heart
that tiny white point in the coeur
someday, a few from now
I will understand, will I understand?
Narrate to me how I walk across the room
sketch my image for me you see in your mind
the image that stays with you,
the one you see
4 months from the last time you saw my face
the bottle of wine just out of reach
sartre, just out of grasp
did you sketch me with the walls up?
did you do that so as to shine a light on the gaps?
the safe distance, the length of a lens
your hand in the small of my back,
wince, bend, move, remove, frame, stay
your figure, like ballet, a perfect form
silence comes
reach for me
the perfect human, we can be for a moment, so perfect
Comments:
oh, perfection... I wonder if it ever is, if it is only its possibility, if our lives are nothing more than a litany of moments, constantly slipping away.
And I wonder if there's any point in wondering whether you understand.
Searching for words, Hunting for phrases, When will it end? Esteeming knowledge And gathering information Only maddens the spirit. Just entrust yourself To your own nature, Empty and illuminating Beyond this, I have nothing to teach.
I saw you,
You thought I didn't
I walked on
you ran past,
hoped I didnt see
didn't recognise
I did
Hell, I would have done the same.
No one wants an awkward hello
-is it kiss on the left or right first?
You run from me
Run from what's not here
I'm just walking away
keep on walking
walking my own way.
Don't think of it again
I don't mind, I have a world of understanding
Pay no mind
Its alright
inauguration buzz
I just can't even stand to read news about bush and his cronies... 4 more years?
Here I come europe...
"do you have anything to declare?" -European customs guy
"yes, on behalf of the american president and people I apologise, I am from a blue state and I would like to emmigrate... I seek sanctuary. " -bilvox
How can you sing when she's stole your song,
took the breath from my lips
just kiss my hand, heal the cracks
4 am
blood shot eyes
full of forgotten dreams
blood in the alcohol
memory on the table
poem unfinished,
afraid of the word unwritten
angel walks in the room,
symphony surges
the city falls outside
see the walls crumble for us
your perfect eye
your sullen smile
to feel your touch is a perfect night
all tomorrows need not come
now is enough
now is forever
"The artist expresses only what he has within himself, not what he sees with his eyes."
-Alexei Jawlensky (1864-1941), Russian painter of Der Blaue Reiter movement.
Comments:
Those who walk Zen path would argue that there is no difference, Billy Neid ;-)
aww
bye bye tucker, we wont miss you... your silly ass bow tie... Oh and your fanatical show...
John Stewart was right this summer when he told Tucker on Crossfire that that kind of false journalism is hurting america, and CNN Listened... Yay!
Extremeism is hurting the world...
from islamic to christian fundimentalism that runs the white house.
Its roots are in disinformation and lack of education. I give CNN a big thumbs up for that move.
walking the cold brick of the city sidewalk
the air slowly becomes silent
the dampening of the ambient sounds increase the effect of a hush falling over this town.
I lift my head up,
a cold kiss of a snowflake lands on my eye-lid like the cool soft lips I remember of yours from so long ago.
another kiss on my cheek
another on my bare palm
and soon this city is being blanketed in frozen kisses.
Silence,
life is hushed
and the sound that finds my ears now is of millions of snow flakes falling on Boston
a million kisses that miss my face
a million kisses that I miss from you
It's the first hours of a new year.
New Days, New hours, new chances ahead.
The world hopes and wants to have a chance for a new start, a time for us all to leave our past behind and create new days.
New dreams for a New Year... a brand new start.
So many start this year with only a baptism of alcohol.
I emmerse myself instead also in a heart - bruised but hopeful, a head drunk with dreams, fear for our geo-political world, and all my hopes and desires.
Most of all I have an intense hope and desire this year for;
To be made to feel alive, have my head spun around, and me lifted off the ground.
For a great journey, to go there and come back again, to touch the world, to be a spark in the night, to matter.
To take my music and have it mean something to someone, to cross borders with it, personal and global.
I want to be movement and have more of it in my life, to heal, to hope for more, to feel something more.
To have my heart held, like I wish to hold a heart, in gentle healing hands...
To have timing to be in time, to the ticking of my soul...
and to revelate, to be a revelation.
So let's leave this last year, this past, behind.
Push things forward, take one step further on in our lives, to let love in and our hearts soar.
Time, shoots on by... take my hand, I know we can go there.
Here's to 2005...
Comments:
Happy New Year Billy boy! Keep writing, I'll keep reading. I like your new Music too. Much better than spark, keep singing. Your heart sounds so sweet and broken at times. Come back to Germany soon! Miss you! bis spater! ;-)
A song I wrote a while ago (like two years)...
I rediscovered it going through my old tunes and recorded it. It has remained unfinished for a while now...
So, I spent a couple of days this last week polishing it up and finishing it...
Once while playing it live a bar fight broke out... yet if you listen it's so very sweet and heartbreaking- bittersweet.
I so felt like the blues brothers minus the chicken wire...
anyways enjoy. :-)
a tragic event needs all our positive energy... this is just one link...
UNICEF, amongst many organizations, takes donations that will go directly to helping the people in the area:
5 bucks goes far.
Something like this comes along and puts the sense of scale in our world and how really fragile life is and how small we are in this world.
I was sent an email last week from a co-worker, a man I had the amazing pleasure to meet and make acquaintance with. We shared fondness for soccer, mine German bundeslegia and he loved his English Premiere League (especially Arsenal). So he got me hooked through his own passion for it, and I find myself in enjoyment of it now. He was a fun and fascinating man to talk to and get to know. He was a brilliantly focused and an analytically sharp man who was able to have a great sense of humor too. He had a strong drive and love of life.
About a year and a half ago he started treatment for Leukemia, I made a tribute video for him then, packed full of messages from his co-workers and the team he led here at work. I too included a message from myself, and he wrote saying how it lifted his spirits and helped give him the strength he needed to fight back and recover. He seemed as if he did indeed recover and soon he returned to work. In the fall he had a relapse and this time it was worse.
Throughout it though he always was able to face it all with a strength and dignity that seemed to draw from somewhere I could only imagine. In this email he sent last week, it was written by a man on that edge that so few of us will ever get a chance to walk. The place where you can see life, death, all that matters and all that means something in life with clarity. In the letter he saw himself loosing the battle against "a very aggressive disease" and with a clear head and calmness now faced his eternal reward. You come in to this world covered in blood and mess, and so often when you leave its not any more dignified. But he had the chance and did indeed face death as he faced life; with dignity, strength, and grace.
Today I heard he did loose the battle to stay alive. He faced the end with grace and understanding. We can only hope to live life to the most full and to face life and death with such acceptance and grace.
Michael, you are a beautiful person and I hope your spirit and example lives on in your family, your children, and all the lives you have touched... like mine. Thanks.
Comments:
wow. that's heartbreaking. but what you did for him was so compassionate. be well...
yes...
I will take the less for the more.
I know I want to hang out with you, tell you things I don't want to tell anyone else,
tell you of the colors i see, hear of the colors you see... see the world with your eyes
I want to be in the presence of someone who understands me, and can accept me, the silly things I do, think, and say.
well then... we are all just looking for a friend such as that... aren't we?
and if I can have all of that...
well I wouldnt mind if that was all it was...
I will hug you with open arms.
I went for a walk this evening for some fresh air, to see the clouds over head and smell the winter that hangs in the air. Took up my ipod to listen to some music, a journal do some writing, think through things, and clear my head.
On my way to newbury street I saw a beautiful tree in the public gardens with these tiny buds that have just started to sprout; small light-pink flowers were emerging that would eventually turn to full blossums like it normally does in spring time.
This tree is wanting to wake from its slumber,
a brief wind of warmth comes and buds form,
they begin to grow and flower,
but winter is about to set in,
snow will fall tonght and stop the blooming.
I guess I saw this and was touched because I saw this tree as a mirror to myself.
It's amazing what sweetness and a tenderheart can do, it can be a warm breeze in the winter, a gentle rain in a drought... a sheltering sky over head.
"naked bill"
That is what my old Irish neighbours used to call me a few years ago. They lived across an inlette of sorts so our kitchens, and bathrooms faced their apartment. I would shower with the window in our shower open, not that they could see the good stuff, but I didnt care anyways and we didnt have a fan system in there.
I have no problem being nekked after a shower and walking to my room or withen my room. If people are in my apartment I am sure to cover the appropriate areas of my self. I normally seem to just figure no one can see me in my room. In my old apartment I had freedom to do just that and I lived alone, so I guess I am used to it. As shy and blushy I can be... I also dont mind it I guess.
Well I happened to run into a neighbour recently who I think has seen me in my birthday suit... Hmmm. Cause after I said, "Oh, I live in the next building..."
She said, "Ya, I think I recognise you..."
Then I realise their windows face my bedroom windows... and then I realise they kinda look like some people I once saw looking towards my bedroom windows when the blinds were not drawn and when I was nekked... I realised there were some people across the way that might have just saw me, so I leaped to my light switch and shut them off, put on some trousers, and flicked lights back on like I was not just standing there in my brithday suit 10 seconds before...
So then I blushed... and said "Well nice meeting you." and then hurried along.
ya well I guess I am "naked bill" to a whole new group of folks...
I know not everyone wants to see a tanned, athletic, naked guy... sorry neighbours... but isn't the mole on my bum cute? haha!
You are such a tempest to me, in the storm of my life, in the mess of the days.
I race through these hours, endure the hardness, then a single soft moment touches me, you touch me...
and here in this shelter I can rest.
Where there is love any thing is possible
Where there is love there is god.
Love is a god's god.
Love is the big bang,
the begining,
the end, the alpha and omega, and all between.
Love can build mountains and sweep them away.
Love can be the hands that build, or tare down.
Love is bigger than time, and a constant in the universe that no one will ever get to fully understand and yet never cease exploring, seeking out, musing about, and trying to wrap one's head around.
Love can burst a human heart, break it and then make it whole again.
You can believe in it all the while feeling like it mocks you.
You turn your head away briefly and then turn back cause it is sitting at your table, dinning with you, toasting to all you are... and trying to sit on your lap.
When lost, when belief is gone, faith in yourself is lost... someone, and someone's heart full of love can help you find your way.
Your lust for life, the desire for more, and all you share together is so beautiful 'cause it springs from somewhere so lovely, your love.
cheers to you both, and all that share in your wealth of love.
Walking to work this morning, humming along to the fine beats dj shadow is laying down for me as I musically move my way down the street.
My Jacket is warm
The air is crisp and smells of winter, the morning sun doing its best to shine.
My thoughts as I walk drift...
I remember waking in the middle of the night to the moon through the window at the head of my bed shining through some flowers on my face. I woke cause it felt like some one was shining a light on me or something... but my eyes opened only to the cool draft through my window and the quiet milky soft hum of light of this moon.
It was so silent and still like the universe for a second held its breath so you could almost hear that glow from the moon...
Then my thoughts of this are jarred from my morning day dream... I am passing Macy's and about five men, dressed in black swat-team like clothing are coming from every which way, a black armored vehicle stops at the corner of the street. The Bomb Squad (not the rap group) are running around me towards a trash can checking some suspect things out...
That was rather strange site to see, what was weird was not a person blinked, ( i admit I barely did) everyone is numb to such things I guess nowadays, or maybe we all needed our first cup of caffine...
----
So this says a lot about our society...
Last night I was running on the tread-mill and the news was on the television in front of my line of vision. It was broadcasting these horrible images of tragedy in the world. Violence and destruction, death of soldiers and the people in Iraq. The explosions and pure fear of the war and the situation spilled from this screen into the room. Next to me was about a mid-40's woman in the middle of her treadmill exercises. She had a screen attached to her tread mill and although I didn't see what she was watching I could only assume it was the same horror I saw. Her reactions were in time and rather vocal regarding these images.
"Ohhh God, thats horrible" (and I nodded in agreement) "Oh gees!" comes from her as more of these images are projected through the catho-ray tubes.
Next they are broadcasting about the tragic beaching of whales and dolphins, I am vocal now...
"Oh that is so sad and horrible", I say.
Shortly I hear her say in disgust 'C'mon! do it!"
So finally I glance over to her screen, and the whole time... she was engulfed in watching "The Wheel of Fortune".
I am taking back completely... I did not expect that... such a weird contrast...
I will just let that speak for it self.
thats all for now...
Thanksgiving Day I stayed up writing what I am thankful for in my journal...
so, stand back...
I'm Thankful for;
Music, laughter, the colours in the sunset, the hope in a sunrise, the curve in the corner of your eye when you smile, unexpected kindness, old films in movie cinemas,
The Night that can be seductive, secrete, and intoxicating... and then hard, heavy, and sobering.
Your hand in mine, your eyes in mine. Silliness and the ridiculous, Knowing glances, inside jokes. Monkeys, Muppets, and Midgets ( my 3 m's to humor) Drunk dancing, trying to free style in car trips, that zombies aren't real, socratic debates, new ideas. A conversation with an old dear friend, the satisfaction after a good laugh, the release of a good cry. The release of stress and the burn of my lungs after a long run. Water Skiing, biking, boating, the beach. Fireworks, Thunderstorms, dutch drizzling rain.
The warmth of summer, sunlight warming my face and closed eyes. The romance of Autumn and the smell of fallen leaves and damp rain. The crisp chill of winter, the uniqueness in a snowflake. The rebirth of spring, the smell of damp earth and the awakening from the long dark cold.
The tone and hum of my guitar when I strum a true chord. A poem fresh on my lips, being inspired. Songs stuck in my head, remembering lyrics I write in my head when no paper is around, remembering lyrics in general, song writing. The power of a song and art to change your mind, your point of view, your world, or your heart.
Justice, peace, political prisoners set free, the good guy that wins, when love comes through. Blue states and the hope for more of them. Balanced media, politicians that work for their constituents and not their investors.
Hearing your calming voice after a day of noise and static, your faith in me, hearing what the world looks like to you. Meeting You. The fact you care. Falling asleep with a smile and a sigh after spending time with you. My friends' patience with me and their acceptance of me in all my grand zaniness. When I don't over-think, or think waaaay too much about something!
Hot showers when I awake, coffee especially if its fair trade, Singing along to my Ipod on my way to work, my job, My Mum, My Sister, My family that Im close to.
You.
Kind words, full frontal real hugs, kissing, singing, singing loud, singing and loosing my voice, singing to myself, secretly singing to you, making faces at myself in the mirror, Gluh Wein, Red Wine, Pineapple juice and Coconut rum, toasts to the future, smiles from strangers, finding an old photograph of a memory long forgotten. Traveling, the journey, being free to roam, foreign languages, lands, and people. Accents. Being lost to be found. The freedom of leaving your past behind, and learning from it,
the future... where we will spend the rest of our lives.
Dreams, Dreaming Out Loud...
and I am Thankful that I am Thankful...
word..
My friend told me a tonight a great quote that his people say in his country... "often there is not a lot of material things... money... etc... so we say 'money is how to live, music is the reason to live'."
Now I dont know if we had too many rum drinks... we were in the heat of rambling about music and life and it was made up... but any which way it is nice to hear that.. I don't know I just liked it. :-)
I like dreamy romantic quotes... :-)
cheers
wow that was so cool.
I had a great time playing out tonight, was very cool and fun.
Check out... Christie Leigh she is so very talented and hosted tonight's event.
I tried some very electric songs acoustically... you loose something going that way... but I still feel it worked out nicely.
More stuffa soon... good night
Hey Y'all My peeps,
Excuse the short notice and impersonal tone.
I am doing a quick peep of a performance Tonight Wednesday the 24th In
Kendall Square's Tommy Doyle's. ( address is 1 Kendall
Square in Cambridge. Very easy to find.
http://www.meetyourmatchgames.com/coyote/doyles.htm )
Yeah its a chill acoustic open mic type atmosphere... so Iam told...
I am also told I go on at 10:30 PM... but I will be there by 9, if ya are wondering...
I'm going to try to make some of my new tunes with up tempos and typically played with a full backing of other instruments sound half decent Unplugged...
:-)
if ya can come on out for the support that would be great.
If not not worries, Have a Great Turkey day and more of these things are coming up and I will promise to give more notice...
Love and Rockets
-Bilvox
I am so tired, I couldn't quiet the static my head last night until finally at 3am I fell asleep. I woke at 6 to the most beautiful song I have heard in the longest time.
this tune, by Carla Bruni I have been listening to it all day when I can... So beautifully bittersweet and her voice is very nice and pleasing.
anyways... yes, my life almost ended this morning to a grapefruit. How silly and unromantic. You would hope taking a bullet for a friend, or saving the human race would be the way to go... While I couldn't breathe and my face was red as laying on the floor all I could think at first was.. "this is fucking silly, do I have the energy to wake someone in my building to save me? Oh god they are going to find me here dead by way of a grapefruit... a GRAPEFRUIT!" internally I was finding this so da-da-ist and funny. Then it got serious, I realised I really couldn't breathe and couldn't do anything... and then I thought as tears welled up from saddness and lack of oxygen "no, this isn't it... there is so much more to do... so much more love to experience, places, things, kisses, holding hands, and dreams to have". So I started first pounding on my chest, then rolling on the floor I shoved my hand as far in my throat as I could and was able to jar the hudge chunk and spit it up(sorry for that visual)... ahhh and air, fresh air... life... ahh tis' good
Comments:
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wow, its 630am mon.. and i just had a near death experience... no one is here but me... and I choked on a grape fruit! haha kinda funny sounding, but when your pounding your chest trying to breathe, make yourself spit it up or dislodge it... well then... life does get in perspective... more on this l8tr got to go to work...
I'm just trying.. trying to say.. Hello.
Hello
all the obsticals in my way...
they disappear now...
your smile, your face is the sun that chases the morning fog... that makes life... so much more.
I was asked how could I still be in a great mood, chilled, happy and still have a smile on my face after the week I just had of catching up on projects and all sorts of stress... but I thought to my self...
if you had the kiss I had you would be high forever...
she is that lovely
So, I am about to bed down for the night and tomorrow return to the hum drum of work. Tanned, relaxed, happy, and basking in thoughts of someone special as my heart calms and slows.
My distance and time away from everything was truly refreshing. I described it to someone as like a cleansing of the muddiness of life... the dirt is washed away from everything and things in your life seem as they truely are... garbage and noise can be delt with and cleared away, meaningful roles and relationships more apparent, and those rare lovely gems... shine so bright.
The thought of returning to a week of backlog of work and catch-up can be daunting... but my lungs are once again full of song and ready to face it all.
I am happy and joyed to return to Boston to be in the presence once again of one gem that has shined for me all week away...
and really since It has been a part of my life...
and now this gem is also a wish on a falling star that is coming true... and as I slip into slumber I can't think of a better thing than that to happen. yay! :-)
word,
about to go reef snokling, tropical fish and manta rays...
I dont know if this works...
me a sarong and belize Im debating about staying a day longer, havent gotten to do all I want yet... but maybe it will give me a reason to come back...
Oh there is such a reason, its beautiful here...
Comments:
That is one of the best pictures of you I have ever seen...Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!
The other night, after some few rum based drinks at a random, total expatriate bar-resturant in the middle of no whare Belize... I pedaled my bike 5 miles along a scarcly lit road back to my place I was staying... the first 2 miles were paved, and at least lit once in a while by a community flood light. The last three were in nearly complete darkness.
This beautiful tapestry of twinkling points of light were all that lit my way back.
My greenest eyes so wide open were trying to take in all they could.
The dusty pock-marked pot-holed road barely appeared ahead. A lone shooting star burned across the night sky.
It shot across the night for me,
for my wish for you.
My wish for us...
to see the world through you
to be the song in your head,
the word on your tongue,
I want to hear the songs of the night through your ears,
I want to see the stars that shine for you... I want to shine for you.
Together we could be the great unwritten poem, and each other's muse.
---
Now I am in San Pedro, a small island off of Belize City. I took a long boat ride yesterday from Belize city (a true bustling central american city, bizaar energies and all) here packed on to this boat with a mass of people taking a daily or week long trip here. Spent yesterday laying in the sun, diving in the ocean and listening to the sounds of the tropical clime as the found my tired frame trying to absorb enough warmth to last me the boston winter ahead. Last night I bought some local fruit drink or pinapples and papaya walked around the bustling mix of cutures and historical pasts. In one area local youth played basketball assome others beat infectious rythems on drums, a girl danced for all between the drums and basketball court, the sounds of the drums mixed and fought for the night air as churchbells rang out. This is so very cool. I am in an internet bar, I wandered in because it offered appeasement to my coffee addiction, only to find they are awaiting a boat later this week with their coffee, so I settle for a cocacola and email checking.
Later I am going to try to rent a bike to explore this island and then might do some cool reef diving, wind surfing etc.
My world and life is so far away.. even though I guess we are all connected via some sort of satelites and wires. I am not even sure... or want to know, what day it is...
But all is well on this side of the world... a stranger in a land of stangers.
love
-bilvox
Hallo alles
I am writing from a hut in a small village in placencencia Belize. I have seen so far: the most amazing sunrise, most gorgeos sunset, howler monkeys, crocadiles, sea manitees... etc
the forest is amazing and beautiful, the scenery is out of a national geographic, and the swimming and ocean is clear and warmer than bath water!
I am so loving it here, tomorrow i fly and then boat to san pedro. Today took a boat ride up the "monkey river" and ate rice and beans in a small village called monkey town... wow
the music is awesome, went to a swize bamboo-y bar club in a small shanty town, every one is friendly, and hey... how can you not with weather such as this/
this is exactly what the doctor ordered for me... relaxation and life is so far away from me... Travis sorry I still have the mail key... opps haha
um ya... oh and the new stranger is on the coffee table... with a swize part jerry played.. I think the vocals are nice, btu need to be mixed in the fore-front and the lyrics work better... well my friends
i have some more coconut rum waiting for me... i must go... more later
love from Belize
-the stranger in a strange land... really strange and beautiful!
Comments:
You still have the mail key! Nooooo! How will I get my copies of JUGS magazine!
so...
Here I am, leaving the country, the republicans took the election and our future so... Im going to belize...
word mutha grabbin life.
monkeys, rainforest, Mayan ruins, and beaches... oh yes. The sun, sand, and Bilvox working on a tan, sipping on drinks out of pineapples.
It has been so long since I had some time off this will be nice. The distance from my life, job, et all will be nice. It will afford me that perspective and chance to sort out where things are. Give me a chance to clear my head of the day to day, and listen to listen to my heart and see how it is doing. Hopefully i will get a chance to write, read, relax and remember those important things like... people you love, things you love doing... are so very important and important to pursue both ;-)
Actually i have been so busy at work and recording that it didn't hit me until earlier this evening I was adventure bound.
I was recording at my engineer's studio and we decided to take a break. I went looking for anything caffinated and throat-quenching at a liqour store and saw some "carib" beer and it hit me. I am going to a tropical local, I am going to be kicking back some chill times with my friend I studied in the NL with hiking on trails in a freaking rainforest! What a freakin awesome chance and time this will be!
It is the first time I have ever goine somewhere tropical, so this will be a completely new expeirence all around, and I am excited. New places to see, new smells, colours, sounds... I usually always seem to go to europe, or uk, not very sunny there, but i love it just the same...
This should be very very cool...
if i survive... party at my place... the 13th nov? hows that sound? ;-)
maybe I can up date y'all with my adventures as the week goes on... so far its 3 am and I have a 6am flight... no sleep til beachin'. ha... bad joke... I will work on new ones whilest away...
cheers
xo -bv
I went to the Kerry party at the Copley Hotel last night, it was cool there was such a feeling of hope in the air. Like a time of change and healing would come to America... and then hopefully the world. The outlook was good, and early rumours pointed to victory for Kerry and our hope the future. I met up with some friends outside to enjoy each other's company and the excitement we had, as news and the tides changed our hopes faded.
Sadness is griping the forward-thinking world today.
My friends in Europe are beside themselves. I hope the world realises, the places that didnt want bush are the cultural, political, and educational centers of America. There is a whole lot of not much in between the coasts... but still...
I can't beLIEve bush won.
damn.
Wake.
Awake to a day,
where there is choice and a chance,
to change the stains we left in this world. A chance to start again.
Will history be kind, will it ever forgive?
Will our children be able to lift up their heads?
The cradle of civilization is burning, underneath our flag.
When your mind is small, and your guns are too big...
Imperialism is a mistake, we are big enough not to make.
Wake!
Cry for life!
See the world in it's entirety
for all its good and bad, all that's small and great.
Open your mind and your heart
...You can,
but so many can't.
It's not black and white, or right and wrong.
Its haze, its a cloud of grey... and it's running red.
Let your heart, let your soul, erase and shine through this grey.
Let your hope defeat history, turn this midnight to day.
Let your heart that shines, break through the cloud.
Let it turn the red to gold.
Let some truth be heard, yell it loud!
Love, and acceptance is the very first step.
and this one little step... will be one giant leap.
I have hope on this day of election two thousand and four
Let's slam shut this old rusty door, and open this golden one.
vote...
-bilvox
Comments:
Billy-
I would have gone to the Cantab to see you play...let me know next time.
Don't worry. I voted today in Watertown...and absentee ballot in Maine, PA and New Hampshire.
So I am off in a couple of minutes here to go play at the CanTab Lounge in Cambridge. Been holding up doing so much recording that I have missed dearly connecting with people and playing live for people, with the interaction and instant feedback. I like reading folks, tuning in to them, this is such a great way.
I am not sure how many songs I will get to play, but thinking of the old standard "Stay Tonight", the newy poptastic "I Wanna Show You the Stars Above", perhaps the mildly political mostly hopeful... "Write my name on your heart"... or a number of others, gonna play it by ear for the most part I think.
If I decide to throw in a cover, there is always one of the countless U2 or maybe Coldplay songs I could pull out.
But with election day tomorrow and the current climate of the world. I recently was reminded of a song that speaks so truely now as it did when it was originally recorded.
Buffalo Springfield's "For What it's Worth".
"...something happening here, what it is ain't exactly clear... "etc.
Its amazing to have a song like that transend its original time, space, and meaning to mean and matter more now than ever. A true testiment to a well written song... I think this is definitely one to pull out for people tonight.
anyways, see you there... wish me luck. ;-)
... just got in...
1 am, Boston is on fire... the red sox won the world series... at one point I stopped and looked up to see if I could catch a pig flying by... wow
hahaha, back in the apartment now and the city errupts around me... sleep, sleep well if you can boston.
My Grandma Neidlinger, prim and proper to the "T", I recall as a boy her saying in just such that way "Well, I hope to at least live to see the Red Sox win the World series!"
Unfortunatly she didn't... But I can't believe I have...
Boston is errupting with celebrations... I need to go join them...
wow...
Comments:
Billy- Did you have an orgasm when the Sox won? Be safe buddy and long live Schilling.
check this out...
Jon Stewart on Crossfire. he tells it like it is.. abd brings up a great point...
the media has failed to raise the level of discourse and responsibility of politicians in America, thats why we have to see documentaries like Fehrenheit 9-11 to get some interesting research in to the Bush administration.
4 games and we did it. Actually, 25 fit baseball players did it.
365 days ago my friend Travis and I sat on my couch drinking and having our heart broken as fookin yankees beat us in game 7 of the playoffs to go to the world series. I promised I wouldn't let them break my heart again, yet i set myself up to do it again, like an ex-girlfriend you try to forgive and let back in to your heart.
Time heals... They give me reason to believe they won't dissapoint again. A year has passed and I just saw the Red Sox, on a wild card chance, get to the play offs, beat the rally monkies, and then come from behind 3 games to defeat the arch enemies, the evil empire of the baseball world... The corporate rock of baseball... The New York Yankees.
It shows what heart and a true team can do. They can unite, depend on each other, and lift each other up to defeat the money and "star" power of a big team like the yankees.
They show how team matters, friends, and family matter, no matter if your blood related.
wow!
amazing!
Ortiz, Damon, Cab, ManRam, Pokey, Chickenman, Trotty, Schilly, Cornroyo, pedro, and all the guys even belhorn... its awesome to catch the energy and buzz in the city right now. Its a great time watching. This was the real world series.
I can hear Boston errupt in celebrations right now, so I join in and blast "We are the Champions" out to the street below and hear all cheer and sing along.
I'm a little drunk on redsox, celebration, and disbelief. (red stripe too)
Wow
Time to try to rest up for the next games, stock up on tums for the ulcers to come, and hair dye for the gray hairs yet to grow-in as well.
good night red sox nation.
Thanks to Pe'pe' from kasteel well for being my virtual support and commentator on these games, only 4 more right?
So, I passed Larry David today while walking around down town, and I saw that it was him and recognised him as he approached me, he saw that I recognised him, smiled and kept walking. It was so bizaar and unexpected I nearly cracked up when i saw him. I had to keep myself from laughing histerically until he passed me and was out of ear shot. Ha! I love his show "Curb your Enthusiasm", (he was also one of the creators of Seinfeild).
Anyways, that was the randomness for the day.
why do I have such bad memory for people.
friday night while out for some drinks with friends at a bar called Vox (I mean where else would I go! haha ), I went to the bar to get some more of that wonderful vodka, and this girl who was vaguely familiar, came up to me and said,
"Hey Bill how are you? whats new? "
Im confused.. "uh... um hey... uh, I know you?" is all I can muster.
"ah, Yeah! Oh your so funny and cute!," as she ruffles my hair kisses me on the cheek and walks off to join the guy she was with.
So I am left with a drink for my band-mate and I in hand confused, blushing, and wishing I didnt have such a bad memory for names.
oh well...
Please dont be offended if I ever forget your name... I forget my own lyrics...
So my reaction to the debate, the third and final one before election day:
Over all I was impressed with Kerry, his composure, focus and vision. Bush was just out of touch and lost for most of it. He refused to answer alot of key questions and he didn't make much sense on any issue he did focus on. He scared me alot when he talked about his faith, he really came off as completely out of touch with reality and liked someone who probably belives he rules by devine right.
Unfortunatly they never squared off with rock em sock em robots or got in a ring with those inflatable suma wrestler outfits... but still was a good experience to see them side by side on screen and to hear their sound bites fight it out. Over all I was impressed with Kerry. He proved to me he is someone that can grasp the complexity of the issues a president will have to deal with and has vision for the world and a leadership quality about himself.
Before the series of debates I knew I was definitely not voting for Bush. Now after, my mind hasn't changed at all... in fact I am ever more afraid for this world if he does get re-elected. The environment, peace, economic prosperity... he just is not taking this country and world to a place where these things get better and develop with positivity.
I saw the debate last night at the MIT media lab.
this group... http://www.sosolimited.com an audio-video artist collective, did a live presentation of it. They were able to digitze it on the fly and using the closed captioning ableto display the text and then high-light keywords, do a word count, sentence length etc. It was quite an unusual way to expierience it and really had you pay attention to different aspects of the debate. At times you listened just to their tone, other times focused on their expression and then at points how many "key words" they used.
Very, very cool indeed.
well thats it for now...
peace
October rises.
The scent of autumns past find me, a flood of memories long covered in dust and a cloud of time and distance arise again.
Memories of laughter, jumping in leaf piles, cider sipping, apple picking, warm itchy hand-me-down sweaters all fill my head.
Memories of an early love, walking hand in hand, first awkward kisses, playfull pushing as we fall together with laughter in a pile of labourously raked leaves.
The smell of freshly fallen damp leaves.
Colors run, browns, reds, oranges, yellows, and all the hues between.
Carved pumpkins, warm cider, cool-night stolls arm-in-arm, dry corn stalks, ghosts haunting, tricks for treats.
The memories fill my heart and bring me back to October.
These days run away like the colors from the leaves, but in my heart you and October remain.
My last week has been such a blur. I am head long into busy season at work. So basically my last week has been:
work, work, cheer on Kerry in the dabte (take this or my previous post as my official bilvox endorsement of him), work, recorded this tune, slept for nearly 13hrs, had two drinks went to a party got "hey aren't you bilvox"-ed (which I loved! ha)
It was a cool party, lots of interesting and uncharacteristically friendly(for boston) people. I love talking to and meeting all sorts of folks. What can I say, I am gregarious. I kept on tryin' to talk to many people but this one older lady kept chatting me up, ya in that sort of way, she was a nice person, but definitely not my bag, I wasn't going to make out with her... but she kept on insisting her way into each conversation... and I grew more and more tired while fighting off an on-coming head cold. So she invited herself along as my friend drove my sleepy-overworked-headcold-hiney home. I let her come in to my apartment, figuring she would call a cab cause my friend didn't want anymore to do with her after she was mean and cantankerous towards him the whole ride. So I passed out on my bed. She took off, I woke to find she broke my towel rack before departing! Booo!
Ya, I went to work on Sunday. Yuck.
So Monday I went to a concert...
all the while exhausted and fighting off a big full on head cold...
here is a hint to who I saw:
It was great, he did an AMAZING version of The Smith's classic How Soon is Now?
He is such a brilliant performer, really connects with the audience and pulls them in to his hand and takes them along for the ride.
So, full on stress at work... but head cold is departing... in time for round two of the Presidential debates tomorrow night... and hopefully this weekend I can party down and blow off some steam.
The best part of having a studio all to myself here at work... I keep my Rickenbacker Guitar in there. It is so great to be able to go in there connect it to this awesome soundboard and work on some tunes, do some recording, or just blow off some stress and play.
Ahh if only music was a full time job for me, I would love to be able to devote all my time an energy to my artistic vision. Anyways... incase you have been wondering if I was dead or not, no, I'm alive just being work's beotch, looking forward to perhaps a little european excursion soon.
drop a line my peeps... whats up?
How about them debates? Anyone who walked away seeing them thinking George didnt appear as an empty suit, a confused monkey, or someone who didn't appear presidential with a grasp on any of the issues is either working for the GOP, or braindead.
Now if you skipped them, you probably know you're going to vote for Dubs and don't want to be reminded of your bad decision. If you got together with a group of friends you probably know your voting for Kerry and you made it a cocktail party or drinking game. Hard work.. 11times, drink... oh no he said terryst again! Drink.
Couple of things stood out... Bush getting the date Sept. 11th wrong at one point (sept. 10th he said)
one question left him silent and confused was this...
LEHRER: New question, Mr. President. Two minutes.
Has the war in Iraq been worth the cost of American lives, 1,052 as of today?
*pause of about 15 seconds and blank stare*
BUSH: You know, every life is precious. Every life matters. (stutter and pause, eyebrows go 'wiggy') You know, my hardest-the hardest part of the job is to know that I committed the troops in harm's way and then do the best I can to provide comfort for the loved ones who lost a son or a daughter or a husband or wife.
(here he struggled to show emotion, and failed horribly)
You know, I think about Missy Johnson.
She's a fantastic lady
I met in Charlotte,
North Carolina.
(is he about to laugh?)
She and her son Brian, they came to see me. Her husband PJ got killed. He'd been in Afghanistan, went to Iraq.
You know, it's hard work (drink) to try to love her as best as I can, knowing full well that the decision I made caused her loved one to be in harm's way.
(yes he said "tried to love her"... booya)
I told her after we prayed
and teared up
and laughed some
that I thought her husband's sacrifice was noble and worthy. Because I understand the stakes of this war on terror. I understand that we must find al Qaeda wherever they hide."
My favorite part when at the end all was fully displayed. Kerry's grasp on complexities and leadership skills, and Bush not having the ability to understand anything to any depth other than what ever he is told to do or think.
At the end Kerry Did a verbal and mental drop-kick and body-slam on Bush...
Kerry:"...I'ld like to come back for a quick moment, if I can, to that issue about China and the talks. Because that's one of the most critical issues here: North Korea.
Just because the president says it can't be done, that you'd lose China, doesn't mean it can't be done. I mean, this is the president who said "There were weapons of mass destruction," said "Mission accomplished," said we could fight the war on the cheap-none of which were true.
We could have bilateral talks with Kim Jong Il. And we can get those weapons at the same time as we get China. Because China has an interest in the outcome, too.
LEHRER: Thirty seconds, Mr. President.
(bush was absolutely confused, staring blankly and blinking)
BUSH: You know my opinion on North Korea. I can't say it any more plainly.
LEHRER: Well, but when he used the word "truth" again...
LEHRER: ... talking about the truth of the matter. He used the word "truth" again. Did that raise any hackles with you?
( once again with the blank stare and blinks)
BUSH: Oh, I'm a pretty calm guy. I don't take it personally. (laughing to himself)
LEHRER: OK. All right. (ready for a good hardy cry)
BUSH: You know, we looked at the same intelligence and came to the same conclusion: that Saddam Hussein was a grave threat.
(this is when bush's eyebrows went bazerk like he was a robot about to explode)
And I don't hold it against him that he said grave threat. I'm not going to go around the country saying he didn't tell the truth, when he looked at the same intelligence I did.
KERRY: (kerry was confused and so taken back that bush had no clue)
It was a threat. That's not the issue. The issue is what you do about it.
The president said he was going to build a true coalition, exhaust the remedies of the U.N. and go to war as a last resort.
Those words really have to mean something. And, unfortunately, he didn't go to war as a last resort.
Now we have this incredible mess in Iraq -- $200 billion. It's not what the American people thought they were getting when they voted."
Wow so before this debate I definitely knew I was not going to vote for Bush... but now... I was reminded like a truck running over my foot... why not to. Now, I know Kerry was taking notes and mulling over what Bush said. Do you think Bush was doing hand turkeys with his sharpee and paper?
I found this... the very funny comedienne Jessi Klein, from vh1's best week ever, had a blog comentary... I can't put it better than she did.
Bullets rip the night in two
across the moon, its running red
the desert sky above comes crashing down, it rains
your dream it stops
you lay awake
somewhere a tear of blood, it falls
peace in your heart,
You can't recall
I was raised in the wilderness of your soul
I was locked away dreaming of another day
another way
waiting
for another time
another place
another chance to touch your face
Well I'm an old rock and roll soul
Itching for something more since I could walk
I've been trying to find the words to say
of all the things that haunt me through these days.
Wilderness of your soul
locked away,
dreaming of another day
I'm an old rock and roll soul
with nothing to lose
I've nothing to lose
I have tried to put into words why we should vote, why we should look to the future, why this country needs change... this best says exactly what I feel... for the most part...
http://www.rollingstone.com/news/story/_/id/6487639
"True patriotism is loving your country enough to try to make it better."
"When people ask why this election is so close, I can't explain it. It's like trying to figure out how Billy Ray Cyrus sold 10 million records."
"I agree that Kerry has flip-flopped on some ideas, but I take that as a sign of intelligence. I trust someone more if he re-examines his positions and has the ability to be introspective. There's no end to the horrific things you can do when you believe you're always right."
the weird thing is I said this a long time ago:
"When Bush ran the first time, I realized something: I want my president to be smarter than I am. I don't ask much, but I want him to be smarter than me."
so vote, whatever you choose, choose for your future, republican or democrat its all crap, Just vote for the future, for change.
I go on sometimes with biterness about heartbreak or sometimes I come off blaze' about love and relationships...
but I am a sucker for it, and I miss it so much.
I was just walking home and I saw something that melted my heart and had me long so badly for love, that honest tender feeling... I felt my heart move and cough for a second upon being a fly-on-the-wall to this moment of tenderness
Down a quiet side-street in downtown Boston I was cutting through walking home when I saw a couple in their mid twenties sweetly reach out subtley and hold hands as they walked down the street. As they touched hands they looked at each other with an honest eyes and then smiled.
It was tender, sweet, and made me long for that again.
damn it all.
"all the kings horses and all the kings men couldn't pull my heart back together again...
all of the physicians, mathmaticians failed to stop by heart from breaking in two.
cause all I need is you.
I just need you.
You got the glue...
so I will give my heart to you."
I need someone to walk to me, with a glue of tenderness and care and put me back together.
That would be nice.
I would love to hold her hand.
survived last night with little pain, but I did have a first class ride on the drunk train.
tonight... oktoberfest, basterdized, U.S. style.. I did go to the real deal back in 98, it was so much fun.
Tonight should be interesting...
Tomorrow... oh boy, I have a feeling I will be spending my b-day in my bed recovering.
haha
shhh,
its my birthday sunday... the big two seven,
In rock n roll terms that means...
This is the year I either end up fat drunk dead in a bathtub in Paris or I move to London and form a new wave - raggae - rock band called something like The "to protect and serve force".
Either way... I hope this to be the year something happens, motion and kenetic energy - The year movement forward is gained.
I feel like right now in my life I am indeed approaching a turning point.
So many in my age group diverge now,
One way is the path towards middle class homogonized philosophy, watered down ambition, marraige, kids, and the other explores themselves, their dreams, goals, philosophies, interests and the world of thought out side their own.
Marraige, Home Depot, Old Navy, and Olive Garden
- or -
Single, Armani Cafe, Allston Beat, and a bistro in Europe.
Me? Hmmm... Let's see...
I'm a rocker, I question this world, I dream out loud, was in europe recently, and pursue my music and writing.
I believe and hope for change and growth, motion and direction... push things forward, a new level, a new energy.
Life is to live, Kisses meant to be tasted, and laughter to be heard.
It is sad to see people pair off and rush towards a life of their parents, rather than live their own.
I see a few rare couples (shappy!) balance the exploration, the push forward into this world together as a journey and it is so very cool. Others I know and have seen rush headlong towards BBQ's and mid-life crisis around the corner.
I know there is so much of this world and myself to discover... I could never give up on this fight forward.
All in good time.
Smell the flowers while you can.
So, my plans this birthday weekend?
Well to be honest, I don't want a fuss or it paid much attention. I want to keep it on the chill side.
Cocktails at Armani Cafe Friday night, (see you there)
Sam Adams Oktoberfest Saturday,
and Sunday... I have a rather nice bottle of champers awaiting...
all this by myself or with some exclusive and close friends.
What I would want?
a vespa scooter
a resort vacation
2 million dollars
and an apartment in Cannes, Berlin, Amsterdam, Prague, and Florence.
Hey, that's why its called "birthday wishes"
But hey why don't you start by getting me that Vespa Scooter. ;-)
xoxo
-bv
Comments:
THANKS FOR THE SHOUT-OUT, BILLY. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! I'M AWAY ALL WEEK, BUT WILL CALL THEREAFTER. -ES
A Passing of a member of one of the great bands,
Johnny Ramone He was the guitarist in the Ramones,
The band that came along and had an idea, a 3 minute song and all you need is 2 chords.
They revitilised music and rock from this ugly 10 minute solo dinosaur rock and made the spirit of rock n roll alive again. They made music with raw emotion and power possible again.
They gave us so much. They were a watershed of such great music to come. We owe them so much. They in essence gave us such great music, from the Pistols, Clash, and U2 to the post punk era and todays' face of rock.
They made it possible for a guy like me to learn two chords and write a song.
G chord + C Chord +some poetry = my first song. And equals me thanking them for setting the stage for a white riot of musical proportions to come along.
They made all that and more possible for so many.
Here's to The Ramones,
cheers...
"I remember lying awake at night and thinking just of you
But things don't last forever and somehow baby
They never really do
They never really do
I remember you."
-The Ramones, from "I remember you"
I can hear the wind sweep through the street below.
like an alarm clock it signals a new day
wakes me from these dreams that lie so intoxingly on my mind
like a tear on my tongue like a world discovered
salt in my mouth,
flavour in my mouth.
spice... seasons... in my life.
Comments:
somebody's got a birthday coming up, homi my boy :-)
write not to write
to say who is right or where it all went wrong
write to sort out and sort through all inside
write to learn something of yourself.
Discover something new, although truthfully it was always there,
find yourself
- Self -
your You.
Your inner hidden dreams and nightmares forgotten.
Write to find the inner truth.
Find the beauty
Mean something.
for God's sake
There so much that doesnt matter.
Matter
You Matter.
Let's all send Billy C some positive energy.
He really is an amazing statesman, forward looking, and a person that cares about people and the state of the world... and hell ya! knows how to party.
Hey at least when he lied no one died, or companies broke laws (halliburton)
Here's for the best Bilvox loves ya.
I've been caught in between the sun,
the moon,
and the stars.
You are heaven burned in my eye
the tear on my tongue
the song in my head.
You got me so high
I've been caught in between the sun moon and stars
Yours is a face I would do anything to see
Yours is a heart that I would do anything to touch
You get me high
I'll always be caught between the sun,
the moon,
and the stars.
The sun in your eye
the moon runs red
I run to you
a shinning star you burn so bright
you're falling fast I hope you last
I'm caught in between the sun,
the moon,
and the stars
Im back,
Okay that was really obnoxious (although not as obnoxious as Sept 1st in Boston, I feel for all you folks that have to move now).
The Servers that hosted my site crashed, so I had to start over again.
I am slowly getting all the pages, accounts, etc up again so thanks for coming back.
I have added more music on my tunes section and have much more server space now so I will add a lot more music and media.
It has definitely been a weird week... to sum up the boss of my company passed away. I have been in a state of shock since, it is still all too weird. As you can read in a previous post I liked him and had the pleasure of getting to know him and work with him. He was quite an anomoly for a head of a global investment firm.
Truely a good person.
I ran a 5k last week too, did well check it. So I took the week off from running as I reveled in my performance, but back to the schedule again.
Sept is on my door step... few days remain until Im old... (that's Sept. 19th if you want to mark for your calendar... and if you want to send me airplane tickets, money, or a helper monkey I will give you my address.)
I promise, and you know I will deliver more later...
What a joke! Is that seriously the charge people get for demonstrating and protesting? Perhaps when we were all looking the other way and picking up the pieces of Sept. 11th they included that one as they passed the dodgey patriot acts.
So If I constitutionally protest I get arrested... Protesting is a such an important way to say "Hey I disagree and there's a lot of us who think differently"! The majority of protestors have to resort to it cause you won't hear their voice otherwise, especially in the mass media. Mostly because 3 big corporations own the mass media, and the don't want to put themselves in jepordy with thier special interests with the government."
See, I want everyone talking, cabbies, actors, crackheads, and johnny business guy. Everyone should use their voice, cause everyone's voice should count.
Cause if your talking, if there is dialogue, through dialogue you learn as Socrates put forth. When people talk especially during these weird times of wars, then less people die, and thats how freedom lives.
If there is only one side talking, yelling, shouting...
One voice will be heard, from the other voices you get silence which equals death, just look at history.
thats my rant...
but hey im just talkin.
Sometimes people can change your mind.
There are people that are bigger than life... Then there are the rarities, people as big as life.
If you're bigger than life, you're not real, or exist on a scale that matters to all.
I knew a guy that was as big as life.
By example he lead, through positivity, focus, wisdom, and being a decent human. Because of all of this and more he was great. He was so much more than I got a chance to know, and more than I could write here.
He was my buddy and my boss.
You know sometimes we grow and are cultivated with certain ideas and preconseptions of things in this world.
Me, I had one about the business world and the corporate cut-throught jerk leader.
This guy came along and cared.
By him being himself and the size of life... he changed my mind.
When you change someone's mind you change their life.
God Bless you "uncle" Timmy.
thanks.
its like when you know how the movie will end before the first minute is shown,
or like you know how the book will end,
or the next line out of your friends mouth
when you see enevitability, a course set out for something and it to not waver like an arrow in its path.
I was thinking about some big ideas
the biggest of all, america.
where we are as a nation, a country, a people is so strange and weird
like a limbo or a calm before a storm... or maybe the eye of the hurricaine.
I feel history, inevitability and change are all going to stand up and each take a turn and lead us in a dizzing waltz.
thats if we continue on this path, funding more ignorence, war, and malice then the future... children, education, and the betterment of each individual.
if we dont change... well
I have always wanted to live in europe.
and I sure do now more than ever.
My Horoscope for today:
"You're going to be the star of the show for at least one full month -- and don't even pretend you're not going to love it. Now, you're not ordinarily interested in being center stage, so enjoy this to the utmost."
Brilliant! ha ha thats sweet.
-bilvox
Comments:
enjoy the ride, neid -- it only happens once a year :-)
walking home
caught in the rain.
my umbrella, forgotten now is not even wanted.
people around me run, wince as if in pain
hide their heads, run for shelter
The rain, i dont mind.
It's cool, a contrast to the humid dirty day
It's cool as I lift my face up to the darkening clouds
It's cool and eases my mood, cools my skin
rain on me, rain all day.
I walk down the streets with my arms open and my face turned up. I call on the rain, I call for it to wash the dirt of the city away, to wash the dirt on my heart to the sea.
I walk down the street and like a boat cutting through waves, I cut through the people that run from all that clenses
they run from the rain
I run, stoll and trip in to its gentle kisses.
Last night I was walking home down Newbury street and some girls asked me to stop for a second. They were all rather lovely so of course I stopped. Four of them asked me my name, what i was up to, etc, as one their friends stood silent in the midst of their semi circle.
So they told me it was their silent friend's birthday and asked if I would sing Happy birthday to her... as she become even more shy and embarassed looking around and trying to hide.
So I said I would love to... I got her attention, and sang for her birthday wishes... She brightened up and smiled...
It was cool.
so happy birthday Lindsay... where ever you are.
The spirit,
the unseen.
The nuances, the feelings, the fleeting moments of grace.
This world is so image based, so visually stimulated and manipulated... and really over-stimulated to a point that we have become so numb.
Everything from images of sex to violence are all cliche and we are numb to it. These triggers fail to fire or light any fires in anyone.
The emotions, the unseen. Now that is something new and different in this time and place that our society is in.
Pre-9-11 irony and empty graphic images I think seem out of place now.
Nuanced feelings, pure honest emotions, and the spirit I think seem so longed for... or at least now the rarity in art, society, and culture that permiate our world.
Something more, something substantial...
and maybe for a moment there I felt something more...
but what a precious moment.
The gold of soul, titanium soul.
What to do now?
Blue and Black
Collide in my eye
Hallucinating?
Or are you here now
I've been talking to spirits
Praying to ghosts
You're the one I long to touch
I'ld run forever
Run across the globe
To fall into your arms
To stay there
We would collide
Cry
and together
feel the world die
Nowadays
Everyday is the last day
Nowadays
The ground is giving way
You're slipping away
You weren't really here anyway
I've lost all I never had
"no" was so yesterday
say "yes"
we'll make our way
pick things up
start the day
last day on earth
Nowadays
Every day
Is the last day
You, you're so lovely
You're so strange
An entity
A sleepless night
You, you're the only one
You, you pick me up.
yes, culture, art, music do go hand in hand and should be connected to politics
check these guys out
http://www.musicforamerica.org drop them a line, offer to help, do a funny video, sing a song, paint a picture, or make a hand turkey...
do something, say what's got to be said... someone might feel the same way or may be waiting on you to say the first word.
I was walking through the boston common, saw a young girl run around with laughter all about her, soaked from the frog pond, she chased after the sparrows and cried out with more laughter at their sudden fluttering about her. It was very genuine and a sweet moment of innocent youth. Remembering that time of life and the fresh mind and soul once had reminds me that we all should run through the park more with laughter and joy in our heads and hearts.
Some know that I have shared drink with Bono, a drunken chat with Peter Wolf, a minute with Elvis Costello, a laugh or two with Chris from Coldplay, skipped a history class to chill with Dennis Leary, ate next to David Duchovney, was an extra in the movie "House Guest" and shared impressions of Charleton Heston with the late Phil Hartman... and so with the DNC in town, some have asked if I have had any celeb run-ins as I am usually lucky to, well... kinda.
"Seriously, Mr. Bilvox you continue to find new and exciting ways to rock me and the American people. Now don't be a stranger in a strange land, drop me a line when you're in New York City, seriously."
I remember...
There was this place of sweet and golden memories I would visit growing up that my friend would take me to. My friend's family had a cabin in the appalacian mountains in western PA we would go to.
It was always a relaxing and interesting time. There, high in the mountains at night, was like we were above the dirty air that usually fogged the stars for our hungry eyes. We were seemingly so much closer to the stars that the night sky was this sparkling tapestry that hung gently over our heads.
I remember laying on a blanket with this girl, my one arm around her and my free hand was reaching up towards the sky...
I felt like I could touch the night.
I felt like I could whisk my hands through the night sky and have the stars move with my reaching fingers. With the warm glow of the camp fire and the tender awkward warmth of a youthful tenderness, we could lay back and try to take it all in. My eyes couldn't open wide enough, no matter how i tried, to let every star in this hemisphere enter my gazing soul.
By day we would walk this fern lined trail, soft and rolling with truck-sized bolders perfectly placed along our way. They seemed as if placed there by a divine artist, perfect in its form and arrangement.
This pathway that drew us in was dotted with stolen kisses and innocent shy reachings of hands to hands.
The trail brought us to a look out point half way along the journey, right before turning back towards camp.
I recall standing there taken back by the grand scene before us. I felt that if this girl didn't have her arms around my waist I would have drifted and floated off above this panorama that presented itself to us now.
The world rolled out before us.
In the lush valley below, green with great ancient trees and golden with the patches of ripened wheat, a creek cut the valley in two.
It curved, twisted and divided the land as if drawn by a shakey hand of a grandparent.
Later, we hopped a winding car-ride down to a section of the creek that widened and deepened enough to go swimming and diving in.
Upon one of these ancient trees that leaned like a drunkard over the creek, was tied a rope. The thick rope allowed you to swing way out from the soft mud of the high banks above the deepest part of this creek. It was truely a Mark Twain sort of picture. Us, fresh in our teenage years, were grasping, swinging, yelling for joy, splashing about loudly and falling over with laughter.
This winding creek that varied in depth and width had hidden dangers, so no matter how good you were at swinging and falling into the deepest part, you jumped feet first. We heard a horror story of some kid diving head first, breaking their neck so we were very careful in our play.
This truely was a timeless moment that if I ever lost this memory it would be so sad.
Memories such as this... of first tanglings of love, hope, fantastic dreams, and God crafted beauty we so easily let slip away.
It would be a tragedy to not be able to learn from this and have these warm feelings and colors, a pallette I couldnt take from when creating.
I think of the creek rules now and its such good life advice, jump feet first because no matter how deep it looks, it (anything or anyone person especially) could end up being so very shallow.
-g'night
Last night found myself planning on going to bed early...
I instead ended up writing, recording and mixing this...
its a new song...
called "Otherside"
enjoy! :-) So I finally crawled into bed around 5 or so. Hey when the spirit moves you and inspiration come you have to go with it sometimes.
Let me know wha cha think.
Comments:
Holy F-bomb that is pure hotness! More! More! More!
Ernest Hemingway said that when something leaves you, it leaves a hole that can only be filled by something better. I have found this to be so very true in my life, be it relationships, bands, friends, guitars, bassists, etc.
Relationship-wise I think it helps with the healing from any damage- scars left.
Its always good to hope for something better, more fulfilling to come along and spin your head around.
Just when something leaves a big gaping god-sized hole, what to do?
Find the thing to fill the hole...
Making music, reaching out to people through it... For me that's how
anyways..
I'm pretty excited finally getting an Ipod...
word life to that.
In the vein of the above.. Its filling the hole in my life of my CD player that finally died.
hahaha
:-)
I've been falling down
Been falling out of cars
lost in the morning light
Trying to find a place
To rest this head
So heavy with dreams
...that intoxicate my everyday
falling,
falling down
I'm always falling,
Falling down
You, you pick me up.
The ground is giving way
slipping away
You weren't really here anyway
I've lost all I never had
"no" was so yesterday
say "yes"
we'll make our way
pick things up
start the day
You, you're so lovely
You're so strange
An entity
A sleepless night
You, you're the only one
You, you pick me up.
falling, falling down
I'm always falling,
Falling down
You, you pick me up.
so I had a really cool night saturday night
no, didnt do anything earth shaking
just enjoyed the company of some cool friends
and met some new ones...
I arrived late after a long day of running around the city... tired... but this lifted me up.
talking music,
likes,
stars,
past
the future...
moments lost
playing toss the jello shot,
funnel beer
and
very engaging conversation...
caught up with some friends
well then unannounced
I rode the first class passenger car on the drunk train...
it must have been 6am... hopped in a cab
said he would take me from brighton to beacon hill where I live...
then said he was going to have another cab take me cause he didnt feel like going down town...
me always agreeable and willing to see and experience most new things... I said sure whatever... and passed out...
magically I then was in front of my apartment and he was still driving me...
and was very proud of himself which I thought was weird.
"yes (mr bilvox) I am to be the one that has been taken you home!"
"yes you sure are.. thanks mate..." I responded
again, "I took you home my friend."
(paying plus generous drunk tip) "thanks mate, I understand"
"No you are now home (mr bilvox)!"
"yes , thanks, cheers..." and do my best Jim Morrison stumble up to my apartment...
hahaha, great night all around for the most part
met some genuine really cool folks... and bonded with some already close folks...
Now I'm so down for the dead baby island camping trip with the fort drastic crew... word life.
Comments:
J-man rizzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
Sorry, I passed out and puked. It happens. Next time we'll get to talk more.
I happened by a shop recently that sells mass produced prints of "art"
I looked at these horribly reproduced, faded, mass accepted pieces of thought and emotion... Supposedly reflecting our culture and what has been created in the midst of controversy and contradiction.
When did Art become so safe?
It has become like Pop Music, something that doesn't offend or challenge you.
It has nothing to say, or does it?
It has become something so unmeaningful, it lets you hide and stay unchanged almost like the drug of TV.
C'mon!
art, music, Do my head in!
Send me spinning in thought, challenge conventions of our society or political ideologies.
Help draw me in and send me further down my path in my search for truth, meaning, and beauty.
Comments:
well said, brotha. down with conformity. - - e. shapiro
Alright,
who's the yuckster???
So, everyonce in a while on my way to work I stop at one particular Starbucks... (winter street in the ghetto/downtown crossing area of boston)
I treat myself to a triple venti non-fat latte, and man I hope fair trade makes sure some of those farmers see my $4.
So this morning i was "seasoning" it if you will with some vanilla powder... and blammmo its jr. high... someone left the vanilla top on just enough so when i shook the shaker the top and all of the contents fell in to this mouth watering sweet elixer of caffine and luvage.
I laughed histerically for a minute, disturbing the somber zombie-like mood of everyone.
Well, my hopes and dreams of getting to work early deminished as with hiroglyphics and the combinded knowledge of the four languages I have some familiarity with explain my situation to some unfortunate soul who got to work the morning shift and be berrated by all these Boston-snippy-attitude commuters.
Finally when he poured it out and saw the top he understood.
I let him know its no big deal and not to rush anything... so Inhale, Exhale... chill out... and when the nice folks there gave me a replacement I lazily strolled on.
ahh as annoying as it could be to some, I thought that was pretty hilarious... nothing like zany antics to spice things up.
after all if you want to get upset about something turn on the international news... thats proper fodder for your passions.
cheers
So I like to run for health and fitness, great stress reliever etc.
about 5 miles, 3 times a week.
right now though from it... I have freakin super chaffed nipples hahahha LOL
even admitting to it to the world makes me crack up laughing.
so what the hell do I do?
Put band-aids on my nipples?
Wear my lucky adidas pasties?
cut out holes in my shirts for nipple-safe area?
(Hmmm this is a post-topic on nipples...)
Comments:
I went for another run tonight and damn they hurt!
Not uncommon. Try www.roadrunnersports.com,.Marathon Sports, or City Sports for "nipguards." I'm not even kidding. Try not to wear cotton tee-shirts, either. Try coolmax or dryfit gear. It won't retain as much sweat and thus, won't chafe as badly.
As a woman, I don't have this issue (bras negate this problem), but as a marathoner, I've seen it men with blood down the fronts of their shirts numerous times.
Also, for any chafing (seams of shorts, shirts, socks)-- try vaseline or sportsglide. Again, a sports or running specialty store.
Hope this wasn't more info than you needed. I can just sympathize. Keep running.
So Last night had sort of an impromptu party, I haggardly pulled myself out of bed to clean up... and there was like nothing to do. When did my friends get so polite and clean up afterthemselves... oh crap maybe this means I'm getting old.
Anywho, had a great time...
got to chill with an old friend who definitely has known and seen me throughout my journey in this world so far.
Its funny, his first impression of me was in 8th grade breaking the curve in our science class... so he hated me at first... but my retarded laugh and our earnest hearts bonded and we became close.
Theres a U2 lyric I always associate with him.
from the song "the first time"
"I have a brother when I'm a brother in need,
I spend my whole time running and he spends his running after me"
off to go enjoy the sun in the park...
go well...
-bv
isn't it always the way...
drank a couple of vodka tonics and then nearly a whole bottle of wine last night and now some fookhead is hammering away from the sound of it on every wall, floor, and ceiling around me. A sign is it? Go greet the brand new day? Or go get ear plugs... hmm.
Someone I know brought up some interesting topics on thier Blog. Being single, time since last had sex ... all that good stuff.
Okay, yes... I can safely say I am a Metrosexual. The "new Breed of reniassance man" if you will.
My cousin just says, "No, you're just the most european american I have ever met."
I am a sensative guy.
I write poetry, music, I enjoy art, culture, history, soccer, running, fashionable clothing, and the vainities of external care that brings me to Sephora once in a while.
But there is another side that has come with this thing...
I think I will call it straight man's guilt.
Due to this ambiguity of defined and super machismo I lack I often get mistaken for being gay.
There is nothing I see wrong with being gay, but I am not gay. I just like people and enjoy making friends.
Being mistaken for being gay can have its benefits as well as downfalls.
Downfalls: women won't engage me even if they think I am attractive, gay men do come on to me.
Benefits: free stuff.
I have been so far hooked up with free lattes at Starbucks, "product" form Sephora, etc.
Damn and the guilt i feel when given these free-bees! So I feel like I should flirt or bat my eyes...
but this is horrible.. it will just then perpetuate 1. my continued singleness and 2. the fact its approaching once around the sun since I have shagged someone rotten! Im not a man-whore like some folks I know... but c'mon I like it, its lovely and its great to please someone emotionally and physically.
All this, as frustrating as it is I guess, is life and in somewhat a fatalistic way, this just happens.
Someone was given me abuse about it recently saying well "your too shy" and "you need to persue these ladies, not be coy and elusive" etc.. i dont know though... any tips?
Anyone wanna make out?
Or fancy a shag? Hold hands at least? C'mon!
No? Alright.. off to go run off some of this extra energy and get a free Latte then.
Even in this world where the lines of homo/hetero/metro-sexual/curious/experimenting are not nearly as rigid as they were even just several years ago, some women are still caught up in the whole macho = manly thing and think only a 'real' man (i.e. balls scratching, beer swigging, football watching, shit talking, chauvinist pig) can satisfy their needs. This is sad because these men don't usually make their women happy, but this is what society has defined. Therefore, some women have a difficult time breaking away from this ideal.
You will find a woman who is more enlightened.
And why can't I comment on your last post? I love the lyrics to that song.
a song about an old love and me...
this was written about a year ago...
Roman Candle Well he's all alone
Think he knows his way
Forgot where he's from
He didn't belong there anyway
Well she's waking up
In a brand new world
She has it all
But doesn't want it anyway
-and like a roman candle you're a flame in the night
-and like a roman candle you're a spark in my life
Well you lighten up the gray and set fire to the night.
Well you taught me more / about who I am
You made me believe / More than any book can
He's drunk again
He's falling down
She'd pick him up
If she knew where he could be found
Well he wishes he could heal
Or save her soul
Well she lost it all
She was going to give up anyway.
Last night I had went for a walk around Boston to clear my head and to think about some things in my life.
I was pretty upset and needed to just walk.
One thing I noticed on my walk... during a Wednesday night nearing midnight how different everything is in the Moonlight. I mean the moon seems unusually close as of late and it was so great to see this milky ball of light hanging quiet and with such grandure over this city that slowly was lulling to sleep after a long day. The city was sighing, the people who move in the night were seeping out into the streets and sidewalks... it is such a different world in the daylight. The day can be so sharp, crystaline, almost painful and the night can be so inviting, soft and things seem so heavy in the night, gavity of emotions, meaning and feelings can really burden one.
Walking from home down Beacon street I thought of how my friend Kevin and I in high school would climb on to his roof and we spent so many crisp and clear Pennsylvanian nights laying with our backs to the roof and eyes turned up to the milkyway.
All sorts of thoughts would enter our noise-filled-heads and come right out our mouths.
The days' events, problems with girlfriends, heartbreak, school would first come out of us and then something else after the garbage fell... our dreams, hopes, and aspirations for us and each other. We talked of the journey we were begining and the great expanse yet to go. Seeing this distence and feeling the scale of the visible universe I think gave us a feeling of strength, resolve and determination to push things forward in our lives.
Looking up, seeing stars, distant suns with worlds spining around them millions of miles and years away... I think now is something we need to do nearly every day.
We have to remember our scale in this world, town, block is nothing compared to it all, and as far away is the rising and setting of the suns that happened life-times ago... we must remember all the distence we travel and sometimes don't travel, shouldn't hold us in, hold us down, get us down.
We have so far to go in the world, and life is hard... but we have to at least try to go the distance of those setting suns.
The hardest part of it all though is to go it alone... so open up, let someone in to join you on this journey... for me sometimes its easier said then done...
sorry... musing session done for now... ;-)
How long do I have to wait til my birthday???
A talking Bill Clinton doll? BRILLIANT!
What will they think of next?
Last night I saw a great brit-rap show. (yes... brit-rap-brithop..whatevers)
The Streets... I had a great time, although solo, at the show... anytime i get to dance, sing and sheeeeeaaake my rump at a show... (for the most part) means a good time all around.
They are a cool fusion of different music; hip hop, new wave, raggae, r and b...
also top lyrics...
"Stop dreaming, People who say that are blaspheming
They're doing nine to five and moaning
And they don't want you succeeding when they've blown it
And your idols - who are they?
They too dreamt about their day,
Positive steps will see your goals.
Whether it's dollars or control, feel the gold."
-Stay Positive, The Streets
Comments:
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Ever feel the night slip away
falling from your fingertips
the static and noise in your head overpower
and drown out the staccato rhythm of your boots
as they take you further from yourself
through the undying fields of the city streets
that roll out before you
When you get to the end of the road
do you find yourself standing there...
honest.
does the wall that protects you and keeps out all that attempt to scale...
follow you?
You still find yourself reaching out over the barricade only to find that it grew another foot.
No matter how loud you yell,
how loud you sing,
how hard you pray,
Your longing for her will never reach her heart.
She walks around the wall,
taking in its scale,
looking for a ladder,
listening for a clue... hearing silence...
she turns and walks.
If you seek love:
Come here to this gate!
Mr. Neidlinger, open this gate!
Mr. Neidlinger, tear down this wall!
+santa monica+
Dusk,
behind the setting sun
the rise of the moon
the shadows grow,
spreading like spilling coffee
the city of ghosts rise from this dusk.
The tide has faded to a foreign country's shore
the pillars of the pier...
now exposed
weathered...
waterlogged...
barnacled...
empty mussels cling
and drown in the air
the ghosts are set free as these shadows spread from the pier
across the beach
engulf the city on the shore
spilling on to the paved pedestrian canals
Now we roam these streets lined with neon and ultraviolet to keep these ghosts away
stop.
turn your ear,
listen...
the city of ghosts gives way to the city of night
"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself."
-Friedrich Nietzsche
So through the miricle of 1's 0's and the wireless age i am sitting next to the kodak theatre in Hollywood, with my lap top sipping coffee. L.A. hollywood, such a strange and wonderful palette I now have to pull colors from... its so great to see this palce to check it out and kick teh tires, spec out the energy and tone. Its definately a harsh place where despiration and dreams are eaten and crumbled easily, and town full of pimps and whores... selling pushing trying reaching... making that deal or reaching the impossible for so many. but so very cool, in some ways too.
Ive only been here a few days but more is to come. Sat next to David Duchovny last nigt at dinner... that was cool interesting... hahaha
more later.. ciao ciao
-bilvox
Via CNN.com "President Bush, in interviews with two Arabic-language television networks, said today that abuse of Iraqi prisoners by some U.S. troops was "abhorrent" and would reinforce anti-American sentiment in the region."
well if you REALLY want to decrease anti-American sentiment in the region try not invading any countries there... opps too late.
silence, a terrible sound
quiet is all around
break out of the quiet lie
stuck in the same small town
caged in a silent town
small people
no voice
you can never be equal to the false height
never will be the toast of the town
loose your sight and song inside,
make a mark in the day
get your pay
your equal now boy!
school books can give you freedom
but your ambition bites the dirt
open your soul
you're cracked, once whole
sing
the music is more
the song settles the score
the music will take you far
it's so much more
we can be more
find your way
through the disco- light
across the floor you move,
you swagger
cold finger-tips on the back of my neck
the freedom that hides in the dark
of your coal black eyes
the promise of a kiss
- in the corner of your smirk
oh your lips
an elegant mess
my body
against your dress
oh you move away...
that's why i'll be down all these days
I'll be down all these days.
I could run
and trip through these city streets
to your arms,
the smell of your hair
as you turn to look at me
you look through me
cut right to me
your whispers in my ear
hiding in the corner of a museum
van gogh in your eyes
and picasso on your brow.
i move close
to taste that fruit
oh you move away...
that's why i'll be down all these days
I'll be down all these days.
"Maybe I should go and live in Amsterdam in a side-street, near a big canal, spend my evenings in the Van Gogh museum, what a dream... Van Gogh museum." from modern dance by Lou Reed
Yes, I agree Lou.
I have just recently returned from a wonderful trip to The Netherlands. I find myself tired, jet lagged, lid flipped... but so very happy and content with a strong desire just to turn back around and return there.
The energy of the city, the nice people, the tone of life, the value of all just rings so true and in-tune with me and my soul. The pace of life, the active engaging in culture, life and meaning is so wonderful to see and contrasts to most of what I experience and know here in my life in Boston. When you are disconnected from your life in one place and then returning to it to stare in right in the face all in a new life is where I think I am right now. I don't know, I need to let this blur set in. All the amazing pieces of art, the philosophy, the drink, culture I should just now let soak in and affect me.
It is so hard right now to gather up my thoughts and feelings into some intelligible sentence.
But the perfect Coda to the whole trip was the last night having just one of the most enjoyable conversations with a delightfully fascinating and interesting person at the bar we were relaxing in. ( www.absinthe.nl ) . I so enjoyed the discussions on everything ranging from the culture and attitudes of Amsterdam, the Netherlands and Europe and those found in the States. It was... just perfect, and it was wonderful making a friend hopefully I can stay in touch with. :-)
I just feel right now... so... inspired, and its been so long since I have... its great!
well I must go now, try to sort out email, work and my mind...
ciao,
-bilvox
So I am taking a break from sorting out what clothes, music, and other various artifacts I can live without on my journey to Amsterdam and the NL which I depart for tomorrow.
I am looking forward to this trip ahead and my return to Europe. I am looking forward to the time away from myself here in Boston, time to disconnect from my world and find myself the stranger in a strange land... yet the odd thing is as much as I will be the stranger I know I will feel most at home. The time to disconnect from myself and to take a look at my heart and life will be valuable and over-due. Introspection and internal discovery through external exploration.
The culture, attitude, the aesthetic, every facit i enjoy and felt comfortable with in Europe.
Well right now I am planning the first few days in Amsterdam making a rush for as many museums as I can get to. Then the kroller-mueller museum awaits in arnhem. There, I am told, is an amazing display of van goghs and other post-impressionist artists.
I think one of the most interesting discoveries will be what my friend going with me discovers and feels about all. To see Europe and the Netherlands through his fresh eyes will be very interesting and cool.
I used to live south of Nijmegan not to far from there but I dont think I will make a trip back to the small town of Well. That town and those memories which like a ghost haunt those hallowed grounds await for another journey... another time.
well I shall get back to it, I will try to post while there. let folks know all is well.
cheers...
-bilvox
Why does Boston and the local music "scene" really lack a scene in reality?
There is no sort of movement, or happening. This city seems to really lack that sort of punk, rock n roll, anti established movments.
It would be great to have something that was anti clearchannel, anti corporate-art & thoughts to come along and clean up the "scene"
I have been listening a lot to the great uk band called "Franz Ferdinand" and if you go here.. (to their history) and read about how they formed and started I find it so exciting, interesting and very cool.
That is really what a scene is about, a movement of ideas, thoughts, staying true to your own pleasure and dreams.
what an idea.
I would love to have a warehouse room, local student artists hanging their work, partying and playing music, getting high on red wine... to me... that would be absolutely brilliant.
The creative energy and flowing vibe is something from which such interesting ideas, thoughts and expressions can come from... Warhol had the Factory... Madchester had the Hacienda
Boston has... ?
Definately I am thinking more and more of naming my new Music project.. The Scene... irony and hope can they exhist side by side?
I was looking at this picture in amazement today. The Mars rover Opportunity sent back to earth a picture of the sunset there.
A blue dusty sunset on Mars.
This brings to mind the distance humans have come and are always looking to go.
Here I am today connected to a good portion of the rest of the world via wires, and through this expanded knowledge-net I am shown the sunset on Mars.
Even more fantastic is that we have a human made and controlled device on a completely foreign and alien planet that is beaming to us such beauty.
I am reminded of a quote form Sir Isaac Newton:
"If I have seen further than others, it is by standing upon the shoulders of giants."
Truly in our age of technology and advancement we are standing on such shoulders. Its too bad though some don't realize that and also there are a lot of broken backs too.
reflection of us
arm in arm,
eyes in our eyes
walking down to the shore
like there is nothing else in the world
I could never want more
if this could be forever
... and ever...
and I feel
so alive
death is dying
we're so alive
I feel so alive
this is how I feel
it seems so strange,
feels so unreal
Oh im not sure
what's real any more.
picture of us
burned in my mind
lost in the fog of dawn
damp streets are our sheets
Your wet hair stuck
to my face
and if all these moments
could be forever
and forever
I could be with you
Then I would feel so alive
My dead heart is sighing
we're so alive
I feel so alive
let go of the night
let go of the knife
let the tears
dry tonight
and you
you will be alright.
"A man should hear a little music, read a little poetry, and see a fine picture every day of his life, in order that worldly cares may not obliterate the sense of the beautiful which God has implanted in the human soul. "
-Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
I lived there for four months and have had return visits since then. Each time I am able to return it is so enjoyable and a great experience.
So I am looking forward to the long weekend, time away and time to be back in country I have a foundness for.
The Van Gogh Museum, walking the canals, the beer, the food, the experience, and I dont even mind the rain.
In a world that seems to get smaller all the time due do technology, global economic growth, communication, transportation, our far expanded neural-net of technology we still loose sight that we really are just one people on this one planet.
Not to sound like a hippie, but... We truly do all live downstream from each other and a new report that Bush and his crew were trying to keep under thumb has come to air...
* Secret report warns of rioting and nuclear war
* Britain will be 'Siberian' in less than 20 years
* Threat to the world is greater than terrorism
Yeah uplifting thought huh?
--------
In other news, my neighbour and man who will probably get my future vote, Senator J. Kerry was home this weekend. How do I know?
He lives a couple of blocks away from me and while walking out Newbury street the secrete service had his home and area completely covered.
It's very cool to see, kinda gives me hope that we will have them protecting him for the next 5 years and beyond.
So today I purchased my airplane ticket for my trip this May to Los Angeles. It got me very excited for many reasons.
First of all for the wedding of my best friend that I am in. I have been given such a huge and humbling honor by him, I am to be his best man. The week leading up to the wedding should be a great time although possibly zany helping secure the last minute tasks at hand. I think all weddings where you truly are happy and so thrilled for the couple and the love they share really make this celebration a wonderful time. hehe plus I get to plan the bach-party with the groomsmen help. Should be a fun night out.
Secondly, many of my friends migrated to LA after graduating Emerson to pursue careers out there. I have yet to make the trip out there to visit and catch up with them. Plus it will be interesting to get a feel for the area and the city. Last time I was in LA I must have been about 6 so it will be nice to really get a chance to see it.
Also I just love traveling and seeing and experiencing new places and people. This trip will be the Last week of May but I am now jones-in' for a trip and a chance to get away now!
I am hoping to maybe find a cheap flight to Europe and kick about some European city for a long weekend. I think that would do me very well, a chance to relax, reflect, hit up the museums, and get lost in a foreign city... Like I so enjoy. Hmm we will see...
Paris? Amsterdam? hmm we will see... Perhaps since taking 2 classes in German I should try it out. Hmm I dont know.. that is all for now
I saw two movies this weekend that have both kind-of left me with a lot to ponder and to mull over in my head.
First I saw the movie out now called "The Dreamers". It is a story of passions, sensuality, politics, identity, philosophy, and what can happen when left to a world of your own devices. This is all set with the backdrop of the student protests of 1968 in Paris. Three college-age students are left to their own devices as they explore their new world in their flat. They shared their love of cinema, philosophy, and sensuality of sex, music and food all the while playing little mind games with each other. At a point where it seems their universe they have created will collapse on itself, the real world literally comes crashing in and reminds them of the politics and rebellion in the streets. "Sous les Pave le plage."
This film reminded me of so much we forget: How to question the status norm, discover new philosophies that can enhance your own, and to discover the world and yourself through art - film - music.
It is so very easy for us all to be sated by 100 TV stations, droning media, insulated middle-class safety, and a paycheck to keep our bellies full and our wallet's spending.
Because of this, so often we forget to question beliefs, take a second deeper look at situations, and to generally ask "Why?" These questions that then began to arise in my head were given another push forward after watching the film "Donnie Darko". This story is so very interesting and can get so convoluted and twisted that upon seeing the conclusion you realize that you need to go back and watch it again (much like after watching "Fight Club" for the first time).
This film plays-up these questions and the ability of questioning the sated society we have created in so much we "kid" ourselves from the rational reality and the ability to discern clear balanced reality and thought. A thought clean form these mediated beliefs, beliefs we are fooled into holding on to and using as a safety device and insulation from the real world. Not faith, Faith is to let go and accept if it is real or not, Beliefs is to cling to and hold on to something so tight all clarity is lost. It is much like grasping to sand in your hand, the tighter you hold the faster is slips away. I think more we should have a philosophy of holding with an open hand, upon this open hand sand rests if a wind should blow it away it was meant to do so, if not notice how peaceful it can rest in your palm. Thus should be Faith in our lives. Hmmm heavy stuff to ponder, my head is heavy with this.
Yet this is exactly like it should be, for now I am asking "Why?".
cheers
Love is greater than some paper folding company or some stupid "holiday" that celebrates a feeling and experience more personal, private, and life changing then the feeling of GOD.
Love, may it find you, change you and lift you up to where you wish to be.
All I know as much as love is to be a wonderful, changing, amazing thing has left me broken more than not.
Love can heal you, save you, and teach you so much about the world and yourself. It has left me sad and wishing a true and wonderful love could find me.
...and that is all I have to say about it.
This Musings site is now Blog-powered, that's right, now I have no excuse for not keeping this dude up to date. What else could complete my Friday the 13th?
I'll tell you what... Preparing for Valentines day
aka the day where I will listen to my cure and smtihs albums and drink my self in to a crying stooper and write sad songs... or go to a "v-day stinks" party and get drunk with my kick ass roommate who helped me get this going... his blog... www.travissearle.com yeah its good...
So be original this year and give V-day cards that come form the bottom of your heart... these are so entertaining....
happy bday going out to melly Mel on her Birthday today.
cheers
-bv
"Stranger In a Strange Land"
