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Thoughts, Observations, and Prayers of a Stranger in a Strange Land.


Friday, March 26, 2010
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I caught the sight of my own reflection

caught it in the rain

saw the dark shapes hiding

hiding in the shadows of my eye

I saw the signs of my end

its been running me down all these years

I feel so far from eden

I feel so close to the end

its not where we begin its where we end.

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Thursday, March 25, 2010
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In broad daylight even the sounds shine.
On the repose of the wide field they linger.
It rustles, the breeze silent.
I have wanted, like sounds, to live by things
And not be theirs, a winged consequence
Carrying the real far.
~Fernando Pessoa

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Tuesday, March 23, 2010
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In the distance,
a vision arises from a far shoreline.
Scattered cities embrace the curve of a fractured gulf.
Oddly scattered glinting points of light sketch an incomplete picture of some civilization without souls, a shell of a city left and forgotten.
Plumes of fire like a light house send a signal to distance eyes from distant shores.

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Thursday, December 10, 2009
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We wait in a rush,
we pause in toil.
Never pausing to hear the everyday symphonies,
the everyday beauty,
that plays out before our eyes or our ears.

The sun it spins
& swirls
through the day in a grand spectacle of cosmic beauty.
But in their moments of ingress and withdrawal we witness the most grand beauty of all.
The quiet moments before dawn breaks to where the warmth of the glow will find us,
the world in dark waits in anticipation.
As the sun falls over the last peak to the west,
the horizon,
the day exhales and lets the hum of day escape into the starlit evening.
Be it in the departing or with the sun's return a song plays.
It is as if they bid a final adu
the sound of a cosmic soul bidding adu

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Saturday, July 04, 2009
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El Bilvox's *killer* Sangria
Perfect pairing with the Gazpacho

start with
1 magnum rioja
1 magnum of cabernet sauvignon
2 oranges

empty the magnums in to the pitcher. then 2 oz of teguila and 2 of cointreau. then cut up the lemon lime and 2 oranges into fours squeeze the juice and put half the squeezed rinds in.
Add sugar to taste.. use a bit of splenda if you are worried about carbs/calories

also please let the flavors get to know each the fridge... add ice to chill when you pour.

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Tuesday, June 16, 2009
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This is now. Now is,
all there is. Don't wait for Then;
strike the spark, light the fire.

Sit at the Beloved's table,
feast with gusto, drink your fill

then dance
the way branches
of jasmine and cypress
dance in a spring wind.

The green earth
is your cloth;
tailor your robe
with dignity and grace.

~ Rumi ~

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Saturday, May 09, 2009
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"I came to this world with nothing,
and I leave with nothing but love
everything else is just borrowed"

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Friday, May 08, 2009
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By Rainer Rilke
Music: breathing of statues.
Perhaps: silence of paintings.
You - language where all language ends.
You - time standing vertically on the motion of motal hearts.

Feelings for whom?
O you the transformation of feelings into what?
into audible landscape.
You - stranger: music.
You - heart-space grown out of us.
The deepest space in us,
rising above us, forces its way out,--
holy departure: when the innermost point in us stands
as the most practiced distance,
as the other side of the air:
no longer habitable.

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Thursday, April 23, 2009
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"Music is, to me, proof of the existence of God. It is so extraordinarily full of magic, and in tough times of my life I can listen to music and it makes such a difference". Kurt Vonnegut

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Friday, April 17, 2009
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Fears are falling, falling all around
keeping my faith tethered to the ground

all the colours I've seen while lost in the sound
all the paths roamed that strayed from the road
all have pain
and sure
we all have lost more than gained

fear of reflections; another's face
to lose my north
to lose my way
fear of fear
to lose all that is dear

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Wednesday, April 15, 2009
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Hear the radio run silent
see the street lights shudder
the neon has lost their glow

outside the wall seems so high
through the square a raw wind blows
and murmurs have turned to a constant hum

gravity fails me
my feet leave the ground

there's a cold war coming
and I'm burning down
the world that holds me down

trees that line the road ahead
the shadows cast cover our heads

paved in moonlight
concealed in secrets
words never said remain static in my head

a warm body in bed remains a stranger
few words are said

fears are falling
falling all around

gravity fails me
my feet leave the ground

there's a cold war coming
and I'm burning down
the world that holds me down

you grab my collar
voices of static fill the air

and the city seemed to shiver
when I brushed aside your hair.

like a gun the radio crackles
ripping our silence in two

and for a moment hope
it flickered

but that cold war is coming
and were burning down
all that holds us now
we're burning
burning all love to the ground

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Friday, January 30, 2009
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The Golden light of dawning shatters the long crystal of night that slowly and meticulously formed over the city last night

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Saturday, November 15, 2008
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I was walking through the park today and through the indian summer i made my way on these old paths amongst the falling leaves
in a daze
in a day-dream my head floated
out of the corner of my eye a familiar smile
the corners of eyes I have seen before and knew well.
but those eyes no longer set fire to the night
no longer search this world for beauty and truth
I saw her, this Doppelgänger of a friend passed
my heart flipped and my eyes watered
forgotten - those who have gone before us
memories and joys I recall came flooding back
In these stranger's eyes I felt comfort in those fond memories of when I was younger than today when all our friends were around to laugh to play

hey hey bilvox! this is liana! a brazilian singer you met a loooong ago...
how are you? hope everything is fine :)
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Friday, October 31, 2008
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Hey Guys n Gals,
I have a quick little promotional video for the song from my E.P. "Summer in the City" that features the song "I Feel Alright (Song for the Summer)" 
Enjoy & Happy Halloween 

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Monday, September 29, 2008
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"History forbids us to hope this side of the grave. But once in a lifetime, the longed-for tide of justice can arise and hope and history rhyme." - Seamus Heaney

a beautiful quote that can be applied or looked at through the lens of current political, economic, or social events... or all three.

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Monday, September 15, 2008
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Little by little
Maybe I'll understand
maybe I'll make sense of all the static
all the noise that fills my head

Little by little
bit by bit
I'll be the song in your head
I'll be your dream remembered

Little by little 
piece by piece
the voice that used to fill my heart
fill my head with song will return

Until the static dies
Until God's voice returns
I'll sing the songs to fill your head
I'll be the warm body in your bed

I'll be your St. Peter
I'll be your St. Paul
I'll take the fall
and you,
You can take it all

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Tuesday, September 02, 2008
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I wanted to save the world
but the world never saved me

without roots,
without grounding
I wanted to fly
to flee
on a rotting metal boat
crossing the Amazon
I'd finally be free

miles and years away
everything would remain a frozen memory
locked in the chilling ice of regret

images burned in my eyes
images that would remain
under my eyelids
warming next to my arrhythmic heart
the proof of an aborted start
my broken heart
my failed dream
my failing grasp

like a dream slowly forgotten in the trite daylight
across a lake,
beneath a foreign moon
silhouettes fade
all promises unmade

then I could save a world
the world in me

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Tuesday, August 26, 2008
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"I like the dreams of the future better than the history of the past."
-Thomas Jefferson

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If you get to the top of the mountain, wont you tell me what you see?

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Saturday, August 23, 2008
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I've been talking to spirits,
I've been praying to ghosts.

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Wednesday, August 20, 2008
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Hey y'all
So I made a recent itunes IMIX.
Check it out.
I included a few songs that have been ratting around inside my head as of late.
There are a few that didnt make the list cause they aren't in the official I-tunes store.
...and thanks again for all the support you have given since I released the E.P. this summer.
If you haven't, taken a listen!
Hop over here to check it out!
Or here to get it in the itunes store.
"I'ld by that for a dollar!"

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Tuesday, August 19, 2008
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"The last thing that is beautiful in the word is women"
-Peter Beard

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Wednesday, May 14, 2008
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those in power write history those without write the songs

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Wednesday, April 16, 2008
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time shoots on by...
days turn to days and weeks into weeks

new great souls have come into my life and the band...
first of all,
welcome to Bernardo Aumond who has jumped on board to apply his mind to the Low-end Theory of Bilvox.

with more announcements soon, please check back often!

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Monday, March 17, 2008
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woke up
pulled myself out of bed
& as my heal hit the pavement a hunger set in
an empty space
a gaping hole
same faces
useless spaces
wasted hours
of these in-between days
there's got to be way, another way.

I want something,
Something more
A broken heart
an aborted start
I want something,
something more

years lived in vein
pursuit of happiness
- it's all the same
trade your hours
for a chunk of change
dreams left behind
settle down, then you wont mind

inside, a hunger
to walk on a different path
to awaken my dreams
make all these hopes last

I want something,
Something more
A broken heart
an aborted start
I want something,
something more

and sure your parents all 'made a go'
with a great life to show
but in your heart you know the score
you want something, something more.

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Saturday, March 08, 2008
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There is a way you can not only support bilvox... but also look great while doing it.
oh oh oh
by of course browsing my online shop and finding a treat for yourself.
The Bilvox Online Store!
The Merc is great quality and nicely designed.
a mug, a shirt, a sticker?
Its all there.

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Friday, March 07, 2008
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Remember the Mix Tape?

giving someone a mix-tape is better than hearing I love you, I miss you, I dig you...

Making them...
Oh the anxious twist of the stomach as you time your favorite songs to play out and fill both sides...
you pick the perfect order - one complimenting the next.. the tempo crescendos the melancholy lulls...

the perfect songs - to say all the things you ever wanted... to find the perfect song - music - lyrics that could encapsulate all the complex feelings and thoughts you feel and think about this person... the world... the future.

nervous to reveal so much to someone

revealing 60 minutes of your heart on a plastic maxell type II tape.

the mix tape... a forgotten art

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Monday, February 25, 2008
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you remind me of some Jean-Luc Godard film
with your cropped hair
and your casual sex
your dreams you want realized
and the terms in which you want them
unfiltered cigarettes and a pan-am tote
you carry your world in a handbag

you'd run away to italy
with your world under-arm
oh, but not with me
I'm a criminal,
a thief,
a liar
out on the hunt
all men lay at your feet
the city lights, the city of night
light your way
and the hunting
are running

sprawled out
calling out
drawn out
Im haunted
by your bohemian ways
by your never-ending days
your mascara that never runs
what are you running from?

you leave me breathless

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Tuesday, February 19, 2008
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A great and true story about rock... and the motivation to pursue music.
Success in Music.

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Tuesday, February 12, 2008
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Im the loaded gun
I'm you're forgotten son
I'm the prop in the picture you cut yourself out of

I'm waiting for the end to come
I'm waiting for the bottom to drop out
waiting for the picture to develop
-to see your eyes again

In limbo
I'm lost out here alone

oh cause everyone wants to believe a lie
so they think there is a reason we die

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Monday, February 11, 2008
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To not involve oneself in politics can be tricky
On one hand if you stay ignorant of what goes on in your capital buildings you claim innocence as you disassociate yourself from the the dirty, greedy, the unjust, and unrepresentative decisions made.
On the other hand you end up surrendering your voice, and your life from being aware of events that shape the geo-political future... and eventually your own.
Ignorance is no excuse, to be un-invloved is one thing... but to be aware holds accountability to those in power to the very people that give it to them.

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Friday, September 14, 2007
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the autumn breeze is flowing through these city streets
the temperature turns
pull your collar up
cover you chilled neck
look back at the sinking sun
its lower today
than it was yesterday

memories of the summer sun
burned images of late warm nights;
your arm around my waist
we stumbled and wandered
guided by smells of cooling streets and closing cafes

and these seasons change
its always the same
These Seasons, Seasons in the city.
You want me to stay the same
but these seasons change me
Seasons in the City

Yo Bill,

Yea, the changing of the seasons is one thing that I do miss about Boston. It gave you a real sense of time passing. Weather is always nice in L.A., so time seems to move on by...until you realize years have gone by.

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Saturday, August 11, 2007
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A great man in the world of music passed away Friday, Tony Wilson Founder of Factory Records. He is often regarded as helping spark the fire of the "Madchester" movement originating from Manchester England in the 80s and early 90s. A movement that was partly fathered from the energy of punk, dance and ecstasy.
He is responsible for finds such acts like Joy Divison & New Order, The Happy Mondays, and also starting the whole DJ club phenomenon from his infamous and now defunked Manchester club The Hacienda. A hallowed venue to music fans; where bands like The Stone Roses, The Smiths, and Primal Screem all got their start. He is immortalized in the film "24 Hour Party People" about the fall of punk and the rise of post-punk and the effect it had on music around the world. He has since remained a constant force in the music industry heading up a renown festival in the UK and NYC called "In The City".
All musicians today owe him a debt of gratitude, including myself. Men like him rarely come along and push things forward as much has he did for the music scene and the recording arts in general.
He was a man that sometimes underestimated his role as a catalyst for a great movement and founder and promoter of great musicians.

"I'm a minor player in my own life story."
Tony Wilson

... and what a life story it was Tony.
Anothy Wilson passed away Friday after a battle with cancer.
Thanks Tony for all...

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Saturday, June 16, 2007
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Had I the heavens' embroidered cloths,
Enwrought with golden and silver light,
The blue and the dim and the dark cloths
Of night and light and the half-light,
I would spread the cloths under your feet:
But I, being poor, have only my dreams;
I have spread my dreams under your feet,
Tread softly because you tread on my dreams

W.B. Yeats

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Tuesday, May 29, 2007
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In case you all forget how to... and how could you ever loose this skill...
How to be Charming
Thanks wikihow! High Five!

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Wednesday, April 18, 2007
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a city scape
you found me alone
beside a lake
I found you
pure like snow
pure like fire

you were the hand that would guide
fill me up inside

winter gives way to summer
night to day
my cold heart turns to fire

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Sunday, April 15, 2007
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In the stillness of the evening
When the sun has had its day
I heard your voice a-whispering
Come away now

New, New York
New, New York

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Thursday, April 12, 2007
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George Grosz

We contain all the passions
and all the vices
and all the suns and stars,
chasms and heights,
trees, animals, forests, streams.
This is what we are.
Our experience lies
in our veins,
in our nerves.
We stagger.
between grey blocks of houses.
On bridges of steel.
Light from a thousand tubes
flows around us,
and a thousand violet nights
etch sharp wrinkles
in our faces.

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Wednesday, February 28, 2007
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I saw today a picture of a friend's daughter
sitting upon a rocking horse
a care-free
innocent smile on her face
framed by pudgy cheeks
a moment passes,
I catch myself staring deep into this picture
and I wonder...
what if I was a father,
what if I had a daughter, a son
what if I had someone depend so deeply on me
what if I had someone to show, to teach how beautiful the colors are in this world.
What if I had someone that from before their first breath I loved unconditionally

Would I ever ignore them
not engage myself in to the wonder of their world?
listen to their sounds and colors they have to show me?
Would I ever squash their joy?
Would I never reach out, appreciate them?
Would I be my father?

all I hope is when that day comes...
these questions
these fears
keep me vigilant from this.

I have yet to meet my wife
or to hold my children
but I know this...
My heart is so in love with them all.

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Wednesday, February 14, 2007
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My heart is with you on this day,
my heart is with you down all the days,
my heart is with you since I met you all those days ago.
Happy Valentine's Day

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Thursday, January 25, 2007
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time slips away with our gold in the night

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Tuesday, January 02, 2007
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a cooling ocean breeze
under the hot cruel sun
I stood on the balcony
below the ocean lapped on the rocks
above the day turned to night
a billion shining points of light fell on me
above, the moon with its silky light, lit my path
the path that lay before me
one for a healing heart
a brand new start
in a new year
a new me

"I walk this path alone
I walk with your ghost by my side
and I know
I can begin again

we can dive in the ocean
and swim in the sound
wash away our worries
we can watch them drown"

happy new year

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Saturday, December 30, 2006
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So you remember that older album, a sort of greatest hits of our old material... You know "Muse", "Take Me Away(an angel passes)", "The Stranger".. wait you don't have them???

Well finally, and we mean finally! After a glitch has been fixed on apple's part, our album with all those songs is now available on the Itunes store!

We are very excited about this cause this gives us a chance for broader digital distribution than before. I know you asked Santa for bv and modern stereo on your ipod for Christmas.. so now your Holiday wishes can come true!

Follow this link for "Bilvox: A Stranger in a Strange Land"...

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Wednesday, December 27, 2006
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I once had a lover
and she was so sweet
she had flowers in her hair
and the world at her feet
she taught me to live
taught me to love
I felt the sun
ya heaven

I had a lover
with flowers in her hair
the world at her feet
oh she didn't care

with a sullen smile
and a sudden smirk
she felt the world slip away

accelerator under foot
road under her tires
she's on the the street

the wishes they flew away
and troubles ran from mind
as she pulled away
she pulled away

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Tuesday, December 12, 2006
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it's the morning,
feels better today
the poison drifts away

these heavy thoughts lift in the light
when you touch my head like that
I feel its going to be alright

in the pit of the city
the sun is always setting
but you whisper to me...
the sun also rises, rises over us all.

trapped in a night so cold
surrounded by a twisting crowd
lost in the beat
the booze
the bass
the shadows swallow me whole

shout out for light
shout at the night

a bottle
a flash
laying in broken glass
my last thoughts,
"will anything be alright,
will day break the night?"

you whisper to me
"the sun also rises
the sun,
my love,
is rising over us."

the morning, so crystalline
poison drifts away
these heavy thoughts lift in the light

and in the pit of the city
the sun sets

you say to me,
"the sun also rises,
the sun also rises"

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Thursday, November 30, 2006
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I wish there was a way for me to make you stay
to have you turn around and say
that you'll stay the night
'till the moon fades into the light
and in the new day I will feel new
my only thought,
my only want
is of you

I want a lover
Who will stay with me through the night
To hold my heavy head and say “It will be alright”
One with a kiss that could undo all harm
And with one smile could disarm
All the heavens, all on earth would see
Their only want
Is me

If there was a way to undo
All the pain that fell on you
To take the chains off your heart
To give you and I a brand-new start
If there was another way
I would take your hand and we could run away
Cause my only want
Is you

If I could make this moment forever
We could dream up a new world to live in
A new world for you and me

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Wednesday, November 29, 2006
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so you look at the man on stage...
"He wants the world to love him." you say
he probably wants one person to love him, and everyone has to hear about it.

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Tuesday, November 28, 2006
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"The difference between a tourist and a traveler is that a tourist seeks only comfort while a traveler seeks discovery. They take more risks. They get pleasure in overcoming difficulties and discomforts, and they seek out the people."--Lea Lane.

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Monday, November 27, 2006
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The light in the eye
The face in reflections
Light shifts color
Lines of age change reflections

a whimsical thought;
"Innocence is much more powerful than experience..."


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Monday, November 20, 2006
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ever flowing
ever twisting
with locks like a mare's mane

my hands,
so cold
tired- stiff
grasp to the strands
in chunks
I pull myself near
in chunks
it falls from my reach
from my waning gasp

time twists
ever more so as I hold fast
my hold won't last

let go

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Sunday, November 19, 2006
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I caught you..
in the corner of my eye
in the corner of the room
in the corner of my life

I caught you...
red handed
red eyed
red lipped

I caught you...
in a moment
in a scene
in a state

I caught you
looking at me
I caught you
and your eyes said
"i adore you"

I adore you.

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Thursday, November 02, 2006
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Someone asked, "Tell me one album you would recomend to someone who would listen to your music and a sentence why you like it?"

I'd have to go with Late for the Sky by Jackson Browne
because it's a beautiful album that you'll listen to today, and understand a little more at a time, as you get older
i just liked the music when I was 19
now I GET it.
if that makes sense
(yes, I know that was like 11 sentences)

Good question! I have been listening to a slew of random music. I recently bought "Death in Vegas's" 'Scorpio Rising' I find the mix of genres and electronic beats with rock music very cool. BUT I have been really into Lily Allen's "Alright, Still" Its an amazing album sort of bubble gum with razor-blades in it of brilliant lyrics and great genre mixing. (I think that was like 20 sentences!)

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something to think about today comes from a conversation I just had...

"i think one of the most important, influential and inspirational questions we must ask ourselves is, "if my life were to be cut short for some reason, what would i be most disappointed in not accomplishing?" it's a very different question that, "what do i want to do before i die?" it puts emphasis on the present and cuts through to what is really important. "

think about that...
now do something about that...

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Thursday, October 12, 2006
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the bridge:

everything was easier
when it was
black and white

everything was easier
when I had you
to hold me all night

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Friday, September 29, 2006
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- lyrics - new song -

Set fire to the image you see
staring back at you
in the mirror of your heart

leave behind all the ideas
all the people have of you

you can start a-new
you can finally be free

you're not anymore where you're from
you're the dreams of a new day

burn an effigy
of the life that used to be

don't let anyone say
you've lost your way

just open up your eyes
open up your soul
and you'll see the world for what it is
and find your heart's home

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Sunday, September 24, 2006
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a decade

survived the night..
the emergence of being back on the radar for many of my past that I have run from
a full circle between then and now
the distance run and returned

ten years went by and I'm older
my memories they fade, they smolder

the laughs
the chemistry
-quiet understanding of a shared experience was found that bonded us all there together

beneath some faces hid the 'tumultuous twenties', those inner demons wrestled with.
quiet scars from that battle left on their smile

some faces
yet a life moved forward
for them; children, husbands
a family being grown and nurtured

paths followed
-some similar to each other, but mostly unique

Stories abound of the invisible ghosts, rumors of a life elsewhere...

Could haves
should haves
considered and pondered
all really just enjoying the now

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Tuesday, September 12, 2006
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"Sometimes I wanna take a pill and hide
Sometimes I wanna shut down and ride
And go where no man should go
Go where no man should go
Go where no man should go
Go where no man should go
Could it be, every really be, alright"
-Daniel Lanois

The previous are lyrics from a song I absolutely love, and lately reflect a bit what I feel...
Everyone needs distance, time alone, time inside one's head so that your voice is the only one there. Sometimes we get in a rut, or feel we are spinning wheels furiously as no movement is being made. It can be so frustrating. Maybe this is reflected in your job, in your day-to-day, or even your life you lead.
Sometimes there is too much noise, too much static.
That's when it is best to take that "pill n hide" or more appropriately... turn your cell phone off go for a walk in the city, stay in on a weekend night and write, get to know yourself better have some 'me" time... tell your friends you will be disappeared for a bit and enjoy the silence. It's a normal and healthy thing to do, to have your "me" time. And although some people in your life might take it personally, hopefully they will understand and when you come back will be accepting of it.

So thus I have been absent from this blog for a while.. and from a few other things in my life. Perhaps because this is the time, as my birthday approaches, where I look into that mirror, the one that another 'go around the sun' has you reflect in to.
So what do I see?
365 days, a few relationships, some heartbreak, some healing, some growing, new friends, new family... and some souls that walked away.
Love felt, tasted, and known. Love twisted, broken, and unknown... and all in between...
The distance I have gone.. do I see this in the bending of light?
Where am I now, as I stand?

Ever deeper I stare, wide-eyed, silent, wondering...
My heart, it sits in my chest an old friend, scarred, broken, and healing... It sits full with so much to share.
An old friend at times I abandoned, in-search of pure passion and pleasure without depth. And in my heart's abandon and upon finding this thin meaningless passion you broke.
To you my tender, tender, giving heart I apologize... I sought you out again and found the fire in you still burning, burning so hot... it's been so cold without you.
With your flame we will set fire to this night... the fire will spread.
All the while, through all the hours of this journey friends and lovers have accompanied me and at some-point held my head, hand, and heart.
Now I need to walk alone and feel the weight of this life... for these steps I can only go alone.
Into a new year of existence, a new day.
At night I will fall asleep then wake a newborn to this new year, these new hours.
A new day, a birth day.

happy new year, happy birthday

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Monday, August 21, 2006
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Your Heart, It Turns

for so long...
only so long you can walk on

mute the inside,
quiet the voice of your heart
the love you feel
the sadness and isolation of life
the awkward situations
a muted existence, walled in
closely guarded and defined
the humor of it all
the hilarious situations this opera plays out
the rising tide of passion

to feel something more...
for only so long
you can dull your pen,
strain your voice,
until with a clear head, a bursting heart, and a strong voice
you want to sing out

should haves
could haves
needs and wants
"desirous of everything at the same time*"
hungry for life
for motion
pure laughter with a head tilted up
laughing to the heavens
crying out
a single soul
in a sea of passing lives
don't just live
i don't just want to simply exist

I want you,
I want it all
i want...


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Thursday, August 17, 2006
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Opps I did it again..
I think I wrote a smiths song last night...

I've been looking for treasure under the trash
looking for truth in the digital noise
and all these men
with their voices on the radio
they dont speak to me
speak for me
or say
anything really
at all

I've been looking for a reason to believe in this world
Looking for a place that i fit
maybe somewhere
or with someone
that I could start over with
and begin and new life

then I heard
your voice over em all
and it shined
and it sang
and it said something true to me
and it sang something sweet to me

life really
isnt that bad after all
it really isnt bad
oh with someone like you.
oh with someone like you.

I was standing at the back
of the darkened club
looking for a friend,
oh someone that didnt lie
and all these people
with their gestures
their posing
and their easy lives
they do nothing
and have nothing to say
nothing to say to me

then I heard
your voice over em all
and it shined
and it sang
and it said something true to me
and it sang something sweet to me

life really
isnt that bad after all
it really isnt bad
oh with someone like you.
oh with someone like you.

life really
isnt that bad
oh with someone like you.
oh with someone like you.

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Friday, August 04, 2006
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to my friends:
This monday...
Because one voice alone is quiet and meek
but one voice of many is so very loud and strong
it's not about right & wrong, it's not black and white
it is about peace... ya what a fantastic idea
so my Boston friends join me this Monday the 6th of Aug.
I hope to see you there @ a vigil for peace


Aug. 6 6:00 p.m.
Davis Square
Somerville, MA

Please join us in requesting a ceasefire.

In past weeks we have seen the catastrophic events of the conflict between Israel and Lebanon unfold and magnify into a devastating series of violent atrocities and war crimes. We hear of the hundreds of lives lost, the homes destroyed, the many thousands made homeless, families torn apart and livelihoods crushed. This evening, Amnesty International members around the world, our supporters, our friends and our fellow partner organizations all stand together in solidarity with those who have suffered in this conflict. We mourn deeply for the victims and our hearts reach out to their families to wish them strength in this time of chaos. Our thoughts also stay closely with those surviving the conflict in the face of extreme danger, to whom we wish courage and immediate safety. We call on Israel and Hizbullah to start respecting the lives and the human rights of innocent people. And we implore other governments around the world to intervene to help the people of Israel and Lebanon - and to join our call for an end to this senseless violence. Today we stand together with a simple message: For all our sakes, ceasefire.

Tuesday, July 25, 2006
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Some very cool ideas and a graceful way to see your fellow man... humanism

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Friday, July 21, 2006
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hold my hand,
guide me there
to the water,
that cool calm lake
through the mist, the heavy air
a summer evening descends

dive into the sorrows,
swim in your dreams
wash away your worries
we'll watch them drown

take my hand, take me there

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Thursday, July 20, 2006
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I could say you were selfish.
I could detail your suddenly cruelty;
the pursuit you aborted.
the distortion of our relationship's reality for your own device.
denying truth to quell that small voice of your conscience,
the one that whispers 'believe in the unseen'

I could fill volumes detailing my frustration and anger
your cold cruel response to my understanding,
my open arms, this heart that cared.
I could say all these things and pages more..

but now with distance gained
I look now with clarity and calm
see all how it was,
the good - the bad
the sweet - the selfish
and the truth of it all:
you were just so very uninspiring
and I'm sorry for that

(can I have my cd's back please?)

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Monday, July 10, 2006
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It has been an interesting month personally and ( in a welcomed diversion) with the world cup.
It was a great tourney all around I must say.
I was routing for the home team (Germany, above, third place winners) and to see them improve and defeat expectations was fantastic. There were some great examples of wonderful soccer playing, and some unfortunate examples of not-so-wonderful (zidane). All-in-all I met some great people from all different backgrounds and supporting various national teams.
We all shared the enjoyment of a great sport.
Cheers to everyone I met and everyone around the world who played and enjoyed this month as well.
stay well

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Saturday, July 08, 2006
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over paid, blah, blah, blah... what ever you think but this man is getting right.
Are You?

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Friday, June 23, 2006
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"The task of art today is to bring order to chaos"
-Theodor Ardorno

In such a strange time, where there is so much war, poverty, and pain... I think art truly can be this. It can be healing to our bitter hearts and misunderstood words.

I just would picture from these times there should and would be art rising up, culture overcoming this chaos. First the chaos in our hearts, then it becomes a spark to set the flame in everyone else.
In times of uncertainty wherein our humanistic ways are challenged is when movements are created, philosophies are born.
People, saddened by what is real, dream up a new world to live in.
I think that's truly what we should all do now...
If you dream of peace, live in that dream
If you dream of love, understanding, live that dream
Dream it so loud the rest of the world is woken up by it.
Wake up.
Dream up a new world to live in.

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Wednesday, June 21, 2006
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Coming Down,
but you've got me so high
Coming Down
Don't want to make that fall tonight
Coming Down
but my feet just left the ground
When I look at this world it gets my head spinning 'round
but your kiss gives me rise

Falling Down
Don't say you've lost your way
Falling down
Don't wanna say they're right
(call out!)
the truth you believe
(call out!)
it's okay to where your heart on your sleeve

the colors are fading
the world is burning
there's no us
there's no them
there's no beginning to this end.
and some of us still cry
some of us still wonder why
oh why?

( sous le pave la plage )

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Friday, June 02, 2006
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Where are the dreams remembered
all the wishes forgotten
all the hearts lost
the ones needed to be fought for

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Wednesday, May 31, 2006
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Finally when summer weather arrives, the sun warms your skin and leaves you tanned and relaxed... then it is so very easy to understand why civilizations used to worship the sun.
Yet we still do... beaches, resorts, and tropical vacations... all so we can raise our faces to the mighty life-giving orb so high in the summer sky and let its rays permeate our skin.
After a relaxed weekend of some sun worship, cooling cocktails, sweet summer music... I think I am ready to do this for the next few months for sure.

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Tuesday, May 30, 2006
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It is awfully easy to be hard-boiled about everything in the daytime, but at night it is another thing. -Ernest Hemingway, The Sun Also Rises

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Sunday, May 14, 2006
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Hand in hand we roam these city streets,
lounge in the gardens.
I smell the sweet aroma of your hair when I kiss your temple.
Breathe deep.
I inhale and take you in.

You fill my lungs with song,
my heart with your infectious laughter.

Next to you, safe, I let go.
Let it all go,
a bruised heart,
a doubting soul,
all fades from my grasp.

Next to you, I'm safe, I let go.
I could slip into a safe slumber
and forever dream next to you.

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Tuesday, May 02, 2006
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Hey Y'all!
Hope this finds everyone well...
Last night I ventured out to Cambridge area to the Lizard Lounge for what always is not only a great venue but a wonderful evening that showcases a lot of talent...
I played The Stranger and Stay Tonight for the crew there and walked away from the performance feeling really good about it. If you have not gotten a chance to go there, please do. Its a wonderful venue to experience live music and to see what talent this city offers.
I was a bit uncertain how I would do, it being a while since I have played out... but I feel it went well, and I am hoping to get back there some time soon to play.
Where have I been?
recording and writing...
I am focusing on finishing up and having a new album this year. Since I put out and completed my old album
album cover"Stranger In a Strange Land" last year, I have written and been developing a slew of tunes.
I look at "Stranger in a.." as a record I am proud of but, it is more of a compilation. It chronicles of my emergence as a singer and songwriter and the time of growth and development after "The Spark" broke up. I feel much of the material is sophomoric and raw... and I feel its more of a compilation, unlike my new material.
The songs are coming along nicely and they generally all sound of the same heart and time period... and with some help of my friends... the finished product will be great.
I am also looking into outside production and recording help so as to help develop my sound and these songs to their full potential.
So that's the news for now...
email me at bilvox(at)bilvox(dot)com to be added to mailing lists or for general harassment.
muchas lovage

Friday, April 28, 2006
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All the knowledge I possess
all the dreams in my head
all the words said
you can have

all the kisses kept and wasted
all the cities I've explored
all the places in my heart I fled
I'll freely give to you

but my heart
my heart is my own

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Monday, April 17, 2006
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Happy Easter

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Thursday, April 13, 2006
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The city before me
hushed in a drape of moonlight
so thin
delicate against the neon.
Murmurs of day echo in quiet corners
where memories of the day fade
in shadows
The sway of branches now still
become silent scaffolding against the sky.
Sky-scrapers twinkle crystalline like christmas trees dotted across the urban field.

staccato and sweet
sexy and swift
like an unfamiliar dance rhythm
pepper the alleyway
turn heads, and perk ears

arms intwined
duck into shadow to find warmth against the evening's sunless chill.

The old queen bellowing laughter
holding court with a keen eye on passing pedestrians.

The idiot with yellowed teeth bared
eyes tight
debates an invisible enemy and shuffles out of site.

In this solitary city night
I wander, I seek
a hand to hold
a cheek to kiss

I recognize all the while
I walk
I am held
in the palm of the city

tonight I'm hers
and with her I lay

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Sunday, April 02, 2006
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It's that time of year again.
I love how the earth awakens from the long cold slumber of winter.
Those fragrances of spring once again hang in the air;
The cool pine, the damp soil, fresh with kisses from the spring rain.
The scent finds me,
touches my nose,
fills my lungs,
and warms my heart.

Life, the green slowly returns.
Life wins today,
the grey fades.

Change in season,
a change of heart,
hope for renewal,
a brand new start.

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Saturday, April 01, 2006
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Don't be so down
Don't be so nervous
for a time will come
and time will pass

As you walk along your way
I'm behind you
I'm right there

and if you're fall - falling
if you call - call out
I'm right there

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Friday, March 17, 2006
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Happy St. Patrick's Day from me and my friends

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Thursday, March 09, 2006
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~fade away~

Don't Speak your Secrets
Don't say your sins outloud
-for then they may be real, they may all be true

A mirror for your dark
fierce and fragile, naked and stark
Your figure fades
-fades from my mind

we'll all just fade away
into the dark
-that tender night

let it out, not in
running to the end
You want to begin again

Cut yourself on the atmosphere
oh I think i can hear you call out

-if no one held you, no onecan see you
from their eye you fade...

we'll all just fade away
dawn is dying, it's almost day
I'll fade, fade away

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Tuesday, March 07, 2006
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A blank slate
An empty lot
Haunted by lies
Your cruel way
A twist of your whim
The last touch of our skin

My hand you grabbed
Our faces a kiss apart
Into your kiss I fell
And that moment,
I tasted a last kiss
one last time I would fall into you

In my ears you whispered
In my hands you were held
In my bed you slept
But pretend never lasts
Cause it will always be me when you open those eyes
Oh if only you'd never open those eyes

You said, "I'll see you soon"
then I realized I never would

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Saturday, February 04, 2006
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Stranger at the Paradise
Bilvox & Modern Stereo
will be appearing Tuesday February 7th 7:30pm
The Paradise Lounge
969 Comm Ave, Allston MA

We will be playing songs from the up coming release "Stranger in a Strange Land" and a few other surprises. It's a night that features some of the best Singer/Song Writers in Boston.
Come on down to the infamous Paradise Lounge for your earfull of ... (what 'they' say)

"Bilvox's heartfelt lyrics balance both imagery and poetry while echoing those of traditional pop music. The chiming and lyric guitars are haunting and catchy amongst the backdrop of the melodies. The music is Boston and America's answer to the movement that blends poetry, folk, and post punk rock while adding a groove or "hips".

I am so looking forward to it...
Hope you all can make it

18+ / 5$ @door/ Doors open @7pm

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Monday, January 30, 2006
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the perfect human,
is there one
the touch of the skin
the soft behind the knee
as i reached there, held you that way
was the whisper for me, the one at the end of your breath as you slept so silently
the flame, the white burn in the heart
that tiny white point in the coeur
someday, a few from now
I will understand, will I understand?
Narrate to me how I walk across the room
sketch my image for me you see in your mind
the image that stays with you,
the one you see
4 months from the last time you saw my face
the bottle of wine just out of reach
sartre, just out of grasp
did you sketch me with the walls up?
did you do that so as to shine a light on the gaps?
the safe distance, the length of a lens
your hand in the small of my back,
wince, bend, move, remove, frame, stay
your figure, like ballet, a perfect form
silence comes
reach for me
the perfect human, we can be for a moment, so perfect

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Saturday, January 07, 2006
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Im so in love with music...

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Tuesday, January 03, 2006
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Boston Phoenix's Band Listing for "Bilvox"
That's me...

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Saturday, December 31, 2005
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A treat for the new year...
I have here an acoustic version of
The Stranger... for your listening pleasure.

Happy New Year to you all...

Friday, December 30, 2005
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ahh the magic 20 questions I agreed to play this game and post it here... enjoy

01. Is there any song you listened to back-to-back-to-back-to-back this year? couple.. Ghosts by mark Geary, rewind by the stereophonics, are you gonna wait forever by u2, lua by brighteyes, weekends by the perishers, such great heights by postal service, swallowed in the sea by coldplay... gees there's a bunch I really was thirsty to listen to...

02. What was the single most beautiful physical, geographic place you found yourself in? So I was in Barcelona for a week in June by my lonesome. The whole city is lovely and amazing, but one memory I hope stays in my noggin is when after meeting some great folks we strolled to the beach and watched the sun rise over the med. Its like such an amazing moment. It was like watching a hushed birth of a new day.

03. Who is a delightful person you met this year? I met a lot of wonderful people from new friends, lovers found and lost, people I admire and look up to and then even a new family.

04. What was the biggest point of upheaval or change in your life since last December? Had some dark times some bright times... Umm finishing the album was a labor of love for sure.. and there were moments I thought I wasn't going to do it or had it in me. But now with it done.. and a slew of new tunes in the back burner I am ready for two-zero-zero-six!

05. What was a really, really good time in which you had a lot of fun with people?
gees just one? ;-) I had some great times like in Barcelona dancing all night and meeting nice folks and watching the sunrise. Oh def the time there in BCN when I got on stage and sang with the hiphop-jazz fusion band... mind blowing. I had some really great times bonding with my friends this year too.

06. Who do you think you talked with the most over the last year? probably Travis he is very close to me

07. What is your favorite material belonging you acquired over the past year? I didn't really get anything big this year.. rediscovering my love for Photography was pretty huge for me. That's a great gift for sure. But ya I didn't get like some big amazing cool 'thing'.

08. Did you fall in love this year? Say something about it? If not, what sorts of crushes or relationships or hobbies did you prefer? haha, Im always falling in love! um.. let's see this year began with some major heartbreak... then healing happened. Had a super crush on a friend, made some mistakes, but met someone I thought was perfect for me.. but timing was off and I was wrong I guess. Recently, I have met a really sweet and interesting person, I look forward to knowing them more. ;-)

09. What food item / beverage / illicit drug was your most characteristic this year? I think this was the year of the Rioja Red Wine. :-)

10. What was your best blooper reel moment? Ummm. I'm not sure I have one, more like 20. ha I always do silly things.

11. Describe a conversation you had this year that you will never forget. There were couple... I love good conversations. Okay, there was one where I completely found myself connected with another person, and after not feeling that for a while it was nice. One where I was able to bond with a like minded musical artist that I look up to. Another where my friend urged me to start not being so hard on myself. ha, ha we'll see about that one.

12. What was the funniest inside joke of the year? oh man I have a bunch not fit to print or others to read... okay maybe "oh, it will be fully operational when your friends arrive!" yeah. You're scratching your head... but its funny to those on the "in" don't cha wish you were there? ha.

13. What was your most expensive purchase of the year? my week in Spain.

14. What was your favorite live performance (a play, a band, an orchestra, the ice capades) that you attended this year?
Are you kidding me? Oh god... Um I saw some amazing shows this year. The big ones: Coldplay, U2, David Gray, Bloc Party, Snow patrol. The shows that cut to me the most were ones where the performers would let go and teach me how to do the same by their example, like Mark Geary. Oh and how can I forget saw the Stereophonics. That was so much fun. They rock out and really can put on a show with so many dynamics from rockin to tender. That was very fun.

15. What song will always remind you of this year? one song? yipes... um Probably the ones I wrote this year. October Remains is a big one for me. It's not on "Stranger in a Strange Land". It's a newer one... but it is a mood and moment I captured that when now I listen to it... I am humbled by how strong the spirit or muse can move one. Why? Its seems beyond my skill or talent... but its not I guess.. just I was able to dig deep for it and it shows... Plus personally the lyric is great and describes a lot of those relationship breaking and making scenes. It is a good tune... I wont cut it up to pieces like my lot of others.

16. What is a big lesson you learned this year? Been a couple of Personal ones. Recently; some people we demonfy aren't really all that bad... just might be in a bad place. Now it doesn't mean you have to forgive what they have done, but helps make you understand how or why. Another; I am stronger than I thought I was, and am not all that bad... and friends can be the best people in the world to carry you or to be your mirror to show you this. Also; How to let go when performing... how to transcend the moment... and really just hit em with your heart.

17. What was the phone number you called most frequently this year? my voice mail? ha um my close friends Kevin or Travis

18. Describe one instant this year in which you were giddily, grinningly happy. After talking to and meeting Mark Geary he helped re-spark the light I thought went out when I was halfway finished with the album. Another? After smootching someone, I thought my heart checked out for good... it was nice to feel my stomach flip and heart beat again. Oh and definitely after some performances, they get me so naturally high... I love it!

19. What place, thing, person, creative outlet, etc. did you turn to when you needed cheering? First is music. I also like to turn inward stroll the city and write. I found the perfect writing nook in a park near me... its my place.

20. What did you do this year you'd like to do more of in the future?: Live, Love, Laugh. I definitely am a thirsty person for all these things... I want to taste life, kiss sweet lips, fall down laughing... I want to see the world and the world in people... okay.. Im going to stop now. ha...

Thanks, cool stuff: No Thank You and Happy New Year.. Here's to 2006!

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Tuesday, December 27, 2005
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The belief in the unseen,
damp pines
clean crisp smell of the winter air
breathe freezes
mouths hide in layers of scarf
frozen finger tips
the pain of those frozen fingertips thawing by fire
inside, the smell of scotch tape and the Christmas roast dance in your nose
the children's hopes,
the gift of their laughter fills our ears
as the warmth of the Christmas meal and the effective result of grandpa's revered eggnog recipe fills our bellies.
the twinkle in a child's eye brightens the night
further adds the hope of magic to the evening
I could swear the star then on the tree seems brighter
their joy spreads infectiously from child to elder.
Christmas bells ring out
eyes widen and love, for the day, rules.

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Friday, December 16, 2005
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the war in Iraq has at the very least cost 200 billion dollars, an amount which according to the world health organisation could provide clean and safe drinking water for everyone on the planet.

Make of that what you will.

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Tuesday, December 06, 2005
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"Seven Blunders of the World"

1. Wealth without work

2. Pleasure without conscience

3. Knowledge without character

4. Commerce without morality

5. Science without humanity

6. Worship without sacrifice

7. Politics without principle

—Mahatma Gandhi

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Sunday, December 04, 2005
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I woke up this morning to the lovely site of a perfect blurred soft white blanket gently covering my patio.
the city is hushed
the sound of the falling the snowflakes is all that reaches my ear
this gentle white skin like a balancing act clings to the thin and wavering branches of a bare shrub
the chilled but damp air smells of something a new.
a fresh winter hangs in the air and falls to me here
with the gentle cold kisses of tiny frozen crystals kissing my face
this fresh aire of brisk newness to the day invigorates my lungs
fills my face with a smile.

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Thursday, December 01, 2005
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Indian summer stays with us here some nights and its so wonderful to walk these city streets, these pavement fields at night.
the lights of shop's windows line the path.
lyrics form in my head
melody falls from my tongue
I love this feeling
letting my unclouded thoughts free to breathe
free to fall on my moleskine's pages
I save these nuggets
some get lost in other thoughts
some lost in the walk at night
some stay with me
and become song

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Sunday, November 27, 2005
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the blurring sand
twisted metal and a relentless sound
sea and foam
grain amber in the sun
setting as it lies its color
yellows and gold
a single tone streaks across the window
a tinny voice,
a tone forgot
the blue for you is my red
too simple too few
choose, but choose for you
let it drip
let it lie where it might
fall where it might
it will bring you back
to a time
a day
a life you knew would arrive
like a dream remembered
a now understood
hold this time in your arms
these means, these ways
from withen this modern age emerges
a form
your beautiful

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Friday, November 25, 2005
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I don't need you to,
what for?
where you are
is where I want to be
is where I want to live
where you kneel
is the spot I want to steal
maybe my heart some day
will surrender
will feel what makes you real
Fighting in this life
for a piece of my own
and I know
I know
that voice in your head, your heart
I once heard so loud
I could walk with a foot that landed firm
a step that was sure
these steps now, yes, they stumble
but its my own way
at least I would like to think,
well that's what I say to myself
to keep this controlled fall free from falling free.
only with these words, my soul's light
I dive into this darkness
I feel my way
I shine, flicker, fade in, fade out
it's all trying to find out
what it's all about.

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slower than molases on a friday morning in boston...
but you can read in the staging area recent news
I know, its been way too long
these new pages being coded, but its coming...
I'm just thinking to myself as I trudge to work on a 22degree morning how 24 hours ago I woke, went for a run, dove in a pool to cool off, then proceeded to lay in the sun for 2 hours.
I have certainly waken from vacation visiting fam in fla.
Back in the office smell, floresent lights, shite coffee, and multimedia-ing needed to get multi-media-ed
more later

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Thursday, November 24, 2005
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its been reported, bilvox has been hiding out in banyon trees somewhere in south florida this week.

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Saturday, November 12, 2005
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Let go!
Let go...
your heart is true
on it is written the truth of love
the light that shines tonight
the light in your eye
the mirror of your heart

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Thursday, November 10, 2005
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so i sip on a rioja,
relax now that I am packed and on my way shortly to a new city... at least to me
Sioux Falls South Dakota...
My Father is getting remarried...
quite an interesting weekend indeed...
a new place, new people...

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Tuesday, November 08, 2005
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I watched as she moved her hair from one side of her shoulder to the other
in her hand the neck of a rich amber and chestnut violin
she lifted the chin pad to her neck
closed her eyes
let go
and played the instrument
it played through her
I thought it was beautiful
she was lovely
music can be so lovely

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Monday, October 31, 2005
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When the fall leaves hit your face
it's you that runs from grace

When the hour gets too late
is it the chance of love's chain
that makes you hate?

Dusty books, your empty chair,
words of want and need
choke the air

I remember the last night
I held your face and touched your hair
Your eyes were on fire like a
televised war.

And when night fades to day
Only October remains,
October remains.

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Friday, October 28, 2005
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So my best friend Eric has been supporting his novella with many interviews etc. check this one...
I get a very generous line about the song I wrote for him...

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album of the month or at least second half of the month is U2's October...
do check it out
Although the new franz ferdinand and david gray are on super heavy rotation... and the best new albums this last month to gace my ears etc...

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Monday, October 24, 2005
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when a heart breaks
a soul drowned
does it ever heal, fully?
does the soul breathe air again?

a surprise
a face burned in my eye
that face
to see again...
to relise
you were never mine

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Tuesday, October 18, 2005
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If I won the lottery the things I would do.

1.) have flat in Berlin, Paris, south of France, Barcelona, and Prague and in the states NYC and Boston
2.) I would open a wine/cheese shop slash wine/cheese bar, one in SOHO NYC, and one in the south end of Boston.
3.) produce records, start a record company and scout out acts I dig and I know have talent.
4.) but not before or sacrificing producing and putting out my own record and touring band.
5.) have a clothes label and design cool clothing for the 5'7", 135 pound male so everyone could look like a rock star too. I would call it "Bilvoxian Wear".
6.) of course I would be a goodwill ambassador for amnesty international, oxfam, and unicef
7.) have an entourage. and sometimes flavor flav will make an appearance in it.
8.) have a foundation that provided clubfoot surgery for less-fortunate club-footed children
9.) have a really cool vespa, and ducatti motor cycle to appeal to the mod and the rocker in me.
10.) I would do an around the world journey
11) ask the girl I dig out.

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Monday, October 17, 2005
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the street lamps blur then turn the most crystaline with long arms of brilliance as tears well and fill my eyes
i'm walking
watching you walk away

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Sunday, October 09, 2005
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I watch you walk away, slowly turn away
every kiss is the last kiss goodbye
im stuck in this railway station
on the departure ramp
we are like fading memories
dreams not remembered
if everymorning is sunshine
and everynight is a death
will you kiss me with your angel wings

I watch you walk away slowly turn away
if moments are the things that matter most in this world
how many moments can you take
how many must we share
before you want to share this life.

this city is a railway station
a departure ramp
say hello, say goodbye
we could have had so much more.

I watch you walk away slowly turn away
I watch you walk away slowly turn away
you're walking away.

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Friday, October 07, 2005
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It's the most super fantastich drummer in the worlds birthday today give her a holla...

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Thursday, October 06, 2005
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I "heart" eric shapiro

check it

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Wednesday, October 05, 2005
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she said I roll my "r's" like im scottish when I drink
I said I think it's Grrrrreat

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Wednesday, September 28, 2005
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So I happened to Catch the Ritchie Valens Story... aka La Bamba last night and it got me thinking. I was impressed how rock n roll could take a poor Mexican-American kid and help him transcend the walls around him. Race, Class, education levels, etc.. Were all overcome and scaled by his dreams and talent. It got me think how that embodies the American Dream if you will. Where the pauper can rise to the level of King. The story is similar in Elvis, Warhol, and continues on.
I always noticed in my town growing up of class difference and covert class and racism... These things you could transcend by be talented in sports and arts. You could earn your welcome into their palace of wisdom and wealth.
yes freedom exists in a school book... but talent can help you climb these walls in our society.
Rock n Roll, it's the American Dream
My Life was Saved by Rock n Roll.

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Monday, September 26, 2005
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My horoscope could not be more of a truism for not just today but... from this day on:
Isn't it time you connected with some people who want to change the world as much as you do? Eclectic, creative types like yourself thrive when they're surrounded by similar mental and emotional energy, so look for ways to hook up with others who have the same kind of altruistic impulses that you do. The stars definitely say that being grounded in some satisfying group interaction is exactly what you need at this time.

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Thursday, September 22, 2005
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While lost in a city,
or losing yourself somewhere you're exploring
the gold you find are those unexpected moments
where you are witness to a brief second where time stands still and the world hushes..
and you know it, you know that moment just added to the color of your soul,
it could be a change of temperature,
a smiled shared
lovers stealing a kiss
or discovering your reflection in some corner of the world unknown.
yes I like those moments

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Wednesday, September 21, 2005
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This song is for someone I care about... I was moved about where they are in their life. A closing of one door and an opening of another...
but what's on the other side of the door is always hard to know.
That cloud of the unknown that can sit so still infront of us can be daunting to even approach, let alone dive right into.
"if its okay"
So this is a song letting her know, its okay...

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Monday, September 19, 2005
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the sun rose
a tune played to welcome me to today
"after the years you give in vain
reaching out to feel again
I can give you what your looking for
well I know its coming someday
in the pit of every morning
well I know it all too well
know it all too well"
a glass of water quenched my dry throat
the shower was hot on my spine,
sore from the weight on my shoulders.
a look at my birthday suit
"Is that what a 28 year old looks like?"
press a shirt
search for my protective eyewear,
"there are my sunglasses."
grab my bag - out the door

a world opens to me
laughter echoes in the front stoop as children giggle and chase each other to school.
the sun is warm on my face and shielded by my sunglasses.
I smile up to the heavens
air of elegance, perfume of a passing lady fills my nose
my heal hits brick
in a controlled fall
I make my way to the work day
silence and calm surrounds me by the time I am in the middle of the park
even as hustle fills the pathways
then distant bells ring out,
are they ringing out for me?
a squirrel stops right in front of me, I nearly trip over him
I stop, smile, lean forward to looks at him,
"hello, there!"
the excited animal runs a circle around me and off again.
"that was quite a Disney moment!" I muse.
on my way
"who said by the time one is 28, one has become who one will be for the rest of one's life?"
I wonder as I gaze into an image of me reflected in the polished steel of the elevator doors,
"Is that so?"
Maybe not for this life.
Another day forward
another day wanting a kiss
another day trying to exorcise my words, my songs, my dreams from my heart
to make them physical
make it real
to make this life so much more.

the day of my birth,
the anniversary of when I entered this light
when the first gasping gulp of air entered my lungs
and filled them with song
so I sing on this day
happy birthday.

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Tuesday, September 06, 2005
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so often I write songs, where i am trying to sort out the grays of this world... cause this world is not black n white.
Then sometimes, rarely, someone comes along and fills my heart with song...
and then it overfills... and I sing...
so monday night
I was overflowing... and recorded this... yes its sweet and very happy... and rough. (with lots of melodica)
"if it's okay"
Umm I think it starts about 56 seconds into the song...
I tried to set it to in Itunes... dont know if it stays when you listen...
anyways enjoy.

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Hola all
just a quick post...
I had an absolute great time Friday night at the Paradise Lounge... I appreciate all who came to hear me, and then just generally enjoy the evening and other acts. So what did you miss?
Well I worked out some acoustic versions of my tunes (stars above, stranger, muse), and despite some technical difficulties with my acoustic's pick-ups, the show went on, and went well.
Best news of this is that in October I will be a featured act there (I believe the 5th).
That means I will get to perform a slew of my favorite tunes for you all in a great venue. Also, I plan to get some friends to pick up some instruments and back me up to help fill out the sound.
Anyways... I hope this finds you all well and you all had a wonderful long weekend like I did.

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Monday, September 05, 2005
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Art washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life.
-Pablo Picasso

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Tuesday, August 30, 2005
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This friday any time after 8 (as I dont know the exact time)
I will be playing the singer-songwriter open showcase at the paradise lounge.
I think I will be doing two tunes...
Come and show support if you can, stay for a drink or two, and lets have a grand ol time out music and a lovely summer night.
If things go well there is a possibility of playing the show case in a month or two (5-6 songs)
The sound system is brilliant, the scene is great, and Bilvox will be back in it.

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when am I going to find out
find out what its all about
in all these hopes and all these dreams
I want to feel all the beauty you see
don't loose your voice
the voice in your head
you gotta dream up
a new world to live in.

If you cant break
or tear down these walls
paint them with your soul
the spectrum of your heart
the streets you walk crack underfoot
your head's in the sand
and a berlin wall's in your heart
my arms around the world
trying to carry this weight
some day I will learn to let go
until then will you wait?

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Friday, August 26, 2005
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Last night I had an amazing evening. I was able to catch my favorite singer songwriter at the paradise, and he just put on a wonderful show, which just inspires and encourages me further.
Mark Geary, he is on itunes... so buy his record, see him live, write him fan mail etc...
I had the great chance of meeting him months and months ago after he opened up for a great Irish band 'The Frames'.
He arrived from NY then in a hurry and nearly had a car accident and was rather flustered, but still was able to transcend that and let go.. to put on a great show. His lyrics and songwriting impressed me and blew me away. I was at a time after being wounded from a break-up in a creative and emotional lull.
I was spent.
He helped me, sparked the creative side in me again. After that show I picked up his album and on the way out ran into him and had to say cheers and thank you...
Well we ended up talking for a while about performing, creating, connecting to the audience.. and letting go to do this...
He wouldn't have guessed how much I needed that conversation, and how valuable it was to me. ...and I wouldn't of guessed he would have remembered my face, name, or whoever this admirer and musician was.
so from this... I pushed things forward.. encouraged and energized. I spent a day at the mfa found myself in the middle of an empty room surrounded by Edward Hopper's paintings... from a line of his I wrote of my ordeal etc... "I lost a Lover". It all came out, all the lyrics flowed from my heart.
It was art inspiring other art... so to him I am indebted, and thankful.
That's what I planned to say to him if I had the chance to meet him again. Thank You.
I was signed up for a Unitedway 5k race last night and once I received an email about him coming to Boston last night I ditched it for his show.
Once again he put on a wonderful show.
His ability to connect with the crowd, move them with his rhythm, his heart, chords, amazing strumming style and lovely lyrics once again impressed and moved me. (and all there)
After the show I went with CD in hand planning to give it to him and say thanks, after of course reintroducing myself.
I was taken back, he remembered my face and all we had to do was catch up...
Once again it was great to talk further with him... and I did my best to convince him to come back to Boston as soon as he can.
Its such a great thing to make these connections to like minded artists, song writers... it all connects to my want to have all like-minded positive artists to have alike a loose group of support and creative encouragement
a scene of sorts... (please scoll to entry from date 3-29-2004)
Painters, musicians (classical and modern), poets, filmmakers, designers, philosophers... band together... Helping each other out with projects in anyway.. pushing a collective movement and positive artistic force forward.
this world, my world need this.
Yours too...
drop a line if you wanna join the scene...
negatives, downtrodders, energy vampires need not apply...

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Tuesday, August 23, 2005
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I have been digging on this guy's philosophies...
ahh the mediated world...

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Saturday, August 20, 2005
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Pull a Star from the Night

Broken and lost on your path
Your footsteps scattered across this town
This century's so young but wears so old
It's too early for you to lose the plot
I'ld open your heart
Try to pull it apart
Make your eyes shine bright
To make the endless static cease

These hands were made to heal
To heal your heart
To make right
what was broke and lost in the night

we're all looking for colors in the sound
we're all lost in this turning sea

but I'ld pull a star from the night
just to see your eyes be the light in my life
ya I'ld pull the stars from the night
just to see your eyes be the stars in my life
Ooo you're the one Ive wanted
You're the one I need
Just wait for me one more day.

the streets you walk crack underfoot
under the weight of your heart
your head's in the sand
and a berlin wall's in your heart
my arms around the world
trying to carry this weight
reaching for you on the otherside
some day I will learn to let go
until then will you wait?

soon the symphony will surge and the sea will swell
will you be my guiding light home?

I'll pull the stars from the night
just to see your eyes be the light in my life
ya I'ld pull the stars from the night
just to see your eyes be the stars in my life
Ooo you're the one Ive wanted
You're the one I need
Just wait for me one more day.

the willows begin to sway
nothing precious
nothing gold can stay

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Friday, August 12, 2005
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weeding a garden, lowes, painting, moving... yikes what am I an old man?
so yeah, I am headlong into fixing up my new place.
weeding the patio, the garden, planting, painting, fixing, all this and im only renting!
well it will be a good place once all is set.. i hope...
today I move the big stuff... so if you wanna help...
all I can promise and pay you in is alcohol, and sing you a song...
yeah... peanuts I know...
oh well. ;-)

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Wednesday, August 10, 2005
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How could you turn so quick
turn to not care
laying in deafening silence
this welcome quiet
soon the symphony will surge
and this surrounding sea will swell
and you will drift away
as i swim against this tide of your heart
drown in the cold
cause I can't breathe you in
your warm heart

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Thursday, August 04, 2005
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so I a need not only a body guard, a personal assistant, but also a handeler now... someone to sit me down and slap me around when i have waves of doubt and anxiety.
Currently I live with my best mate.
We have a wonderful time, enjoy each other's company etc... and have a sweet flat.
So I am over the next month doing a gradual move to a new place that I will be living in solo.
So last nnight I walked into it and had so much frustration and anxiety cause its not as nice and new as my current place, is a fixer-upper, needs paint, some repair and a lot of weeding and planting in the garden and patio.
Luckily a friend calmed me down last night as I doubted living alone, leaving my last two years living with my best friend, not being happy with the condition of the plumbing, paint job etc.
So I relaxed after weeding half the patio, went inside and was okay.
Worried a little more... then decided to go back to the sexy sweet bachelor establishment.
As I decended the font stoop-stairs I remembered to check my mail, and low and behold I had the sweetest letter welcoming me to my place and wishing me luck in my move as I opened a new door to this next chaapter of my life.
sitting down, I relaxed finally and took in the cool damp summer air, the beauty of Charles street at night, and smiled.
maybe it wont be so bad.
This morning I awoke, to the beautiful summer rising sun as it filled my apartment. The beautiful wood-work was accentuated, the light filled my room and woke me gently. The clean and modern fixtures, the available space and comfort all threw me back to that ruch of anxiety....
thus where my handeler needs to enter and sit me down and slap me about.

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Saturday, July 30, 2005
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I saw your eyes flash in the blink of the disco's light.
memories fall from me so easy
yet those Iberian eyes
could burn through any darkness in my mind
could shine throughout the midnight hour

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Friday, July 29, 2005
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so... I'm related to this dude
so I guess music runs in the neiders...
does this mean i should try to do comtemporary versions of wagner?
ya I dont think so either.

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Tuesday, July 26, 2005
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I sit on the edge of this still water
a pond
carved elegantly by the hands of man.
the water, a wavering mirror
with tremors caused by the breathe of the evening
the mirror bends and reflects the heaven above
deepens the blues
subtle with purple
highlights of orange and gold
they are all enhanced, enriched by this reflective pond.

In the eye the air
the clouds above
seem to pose for all the passed impressionists
-the only ones to ever do these environs justice.

The clouds of crystals weighted with moisture
smile with the first golden light of sunset.
The ghosts of the Impressionists,
the only ones to ever make the lovely mother of nature blush,
haunt these gardens.
echoes of their colors find my eye.
For a moment
silence falls around me
I sit motionless
and I swear
I just heard the day sigh.

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Monday, July 18, 2005
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I have spent the last few weeks accumulating a mass of business cards from realtors, viewing at least 16 apartments, singing a lease on one... backing out cause it wasn't me and had bad karma all over it. I almost paid 4,200$ in one pop for a hot place that in the end would be a very lonely place by my lonesome. It did have an awesome skylight, in great condition and was huge!... It would be the kind of place that if I had a hot little lady to live with it would be great for us. Lots of dumps, barely livable spaces, and a few nice... but way out of my price range. (That’s if I wanted to still wear decent clothes, eat, and go out once in a while.)
Things I have discovered while apartment hunting...
It’s a ruthless busines
Jerky realtors will edge out co-workers with less experience or seniority
and pressure you in to a financially big decision that last at least 12 months.
Don’t forget the double talk, misspeak, and lingo...
Cozy means small
Garden-level means basement
Great space means its weirdly shaped and awkward apartment that no normal furniture will fit in.
In good repair means its a sh%t-hole and needs repairs.
High ceilings mean the ceilings are higher than the room is wide.
A professionally managed building means some company is just barely making livable conditions for college kids that don't care or will be too drunk to notice how crappy it is.
Steps from everything means it’s not near a damn thing you need.
Subway at your front door means the entrance to the T station is adjacent to your front door and you will only be able to sleep between quiet periods when the train isn’t running.
No matter what listing you find and ask to see you will probably see it only after seeing 4 other crap ones or never, possibly getting the excuse "OH that is an old listing, you wouldn’t like it anyways." THEN WHY THE HELL do you have it on your website, on craigslist, AND posted on your front door!?
If you see something you're mildly interested in you will be told its about to go, someone else was going to put a down payment on it in an hour, or this is a real gem never lasts long.
OH! The best is the baiting techniques: "I don’t know if you would be interested in this but..." is a common phrase. Or "this just came on the market today... I shouldn’t really be showing it yet, but for you..."
The best realtor I met was honest, cool, and not pushy. If you need a guy ask me, I will send you his email, he will tell you what he has and like it is, while being nice and not pushy.
So it looks like I found something, so cross your fingers... and what brilliant, amazing, dynamic, looking-out-for-you realtor ended up finding me this brilliant place???
craigslist... fo sure!
The flat is perfect for me, a good size, right in the thick of things, good condition, I can be loud as all hell because surrounding me are day businesses, AND... has a building sized back yard patio it’s freakin huge and amazing.. and its only for my use. You could have room for patio furniture, a huge grill, an above ground pool, and an herb-flower garden.
so if I get it... Gatsby party my place!
Wow, we'll see...
Seriously though... keep the closest weekend to sept. 19th (my b-day) open, and maybe biltoberfest in October. yeeah

there are no flats in boston...only apartments -- cozy ones at that.
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Tuesday, July 12, 2005
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haha my day's fortune
"You sparkle like a star, which is pretty much what you are. So go ahead and twinkle!"

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Friday, July 08, 2005
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Any of those things were you list your favorite bands and musicians is so hard for me... so to get a sense of what I like, here is a snap shot of what I am listening to.
This is my current summer 2005 ipod play list (so far):
(If you will my "Summer is Easy" mix
or my "I've got soul but im not a soldier" mix)

Dimitri from Paris - Prologue
The Killers - All these Things That I've Done
Elkland - Talking On the Phone
Stereophonics - Dakota
The Eels - Mr. E's Faboulous Blues
Travis - Walking In the Sun
Oasis - Love Like A Bomb
The Verve - This Could be My Moment
The Doors - I looked at You
Coldplay - Fix You
Bright Eyes - One Foot in Front of Another
U2 - Whose Gonna Ride Your Wild Horses (Temple Bar Remix)
Bloc Party - This Modern Love
Gorillaz - Feel Good Inc.
Chris Issak - South of the Border
Damien Rice - Cannonball
Dimitri from Paris - Un Termede
Passengers - Theme from Let's Go Native
Royksopp - Poor Leno
The Stone Roses - Shoot you Down (Soul Hooligan Mix)
Jeff Buckley - Last Goodbye
Mark Geary - It Beats Me
Stan Getz/Astrud Gilberto - Girl From Impanema
Primal Scream - Star
David Gray - Forever is Tomorrow is Today


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Thursday, July 07, 2005
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My heart today is with the people of London.
I am so sorry that terror and fear have planted a deadly and vicious seed today. In a world where we are all hungry for peace, its sad to see extremes and absolutes block the sunshine with such dark clouds.

this exibit very much embodies the hope I have... for what we need is an understanding of a coexistence

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Friday, July 01, 2005
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Make poverty History
In this time in our world when it has become so small and we truely are a global people... we should start living that way... tare down these walls that divide.
check these sites out...
read the info...
make something happen... god sakes let's do something that really matters for once... we're only human, all of us... and its only us here... take those blinders off.

The gap between the world's rich and poor has never been wider. Malnutrition, AIDS, conflict and illiteracy are a daily reality for millions.

But it isn't chance or bad luck that keeps people trapped in bitter, unrelenting poverty. It's man-made factors like a glaringly unjust global trade system, a debt burden so great that it suffocates any chance of recovery and insufficient and ineffective aid.

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Thursday, June 30, 2005
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via spain: 6-12-05
Last night I had the most delicious sangria and tried some of the local rioja wine. The Sangria was perfectly sweet and cooling in the warm summer night. Up Las Ramblas a cool mediterranian summer breeze made its way to to me sitting in a cafe. On Las Ramblas I sat with a chilled drink in hand while the sounds of excitement and smells of spice were a mix all around.
As this breeze found me and together with this sweet spainish beverage I felt my soul sigh.
For a brief moment, here in my life, the world on my sholders fell away and I released all I held on to.
The smile that found me stayed on my face for the night as I sat, sipped, and watched this world around me.
Prime people watching; Dramas playing out, lovers lost in each other, revelry of friends old and new... in this spainish night.
After my sangria mixed with people watching I wandered the quieting streets of the drunk Saturday night. I was drunk not on just the sangria but the mediterraian air, the friendly faces, and Barcelona itself... an intoxicating place.
I turned a corner and then I found myself upon a soccer game in a medieval cobble-stone square. One side you see tables and chairs locked up for the night, a modern building highlighting some local artists and then in another side a church and buildings rich with character older than my country stood, beautifully aged and an amazing testiment to the city's rich history. In one area of this vast square a gaggle of guys from various ages, countries, and of fitness levels were engaged in a friendly game of soccer. Watching for a few minutes and marveling at this... I realised: I've got to join up!
I motioned for me to join and in hand jestures and smiles they greated me and had me join up.
It was brilliant. We played for quite a while.
Heading, faking out, sprinting, sweating, laughing, scoring, cheering, slapping backs and hands in approval and joy of scoring, it was pure enjoyment of the sport and each other.
I don't think we were people who might agree on politics, music, or religion.. but for one hour this night we all we united and bonded by the sport and the pure enjoyment of this soccer game.
After we all nearly collapsing from exhaustion we sat in the square introduced each other, shook hands, laughed a bit and then all parted ways into the night.
I made it back to my flat, undressed and fell onto my bed shaking my head and laughing to myself.
Such a great night... one of many great nights here in Barcelona. I then stood up on my bed looked out at the city alight with the glow of the street lamps, below the people making their way home from their night out; singing arm in arm, laughing, and stumbling. Past the people and the city, towards the sea, I could see sunlight just breaking through the night about to kiss this city.
inhale, exhale
and then flat on my back again... happy.

You're a bit of a loon, you know.
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Saturday, June 25, 2005
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I came across this quote and I sure do dig it:

"The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams."
-Eleanor Roosevelt

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Friday, June 24, 2005
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via spain:
I just realised something;
not a single person knows where I am or what I am doing right now...
wow, what a liberating Idea...
all I can do is smile at the thought of this freedom.
absolutely brilliant!

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Monday, June 20, 2005
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so supposidly...
this is my myers-briggs personality
more on it
pretty right on for the most part I think...

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Saturday, June 18, 2005
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see.. spain was productive...
here is a messing about with acoustic guitars of a chorus to a new song....
pull a star from the night

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Wednesday, June 15, 2005
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sometimes I wish I was someone else...
maybe then we could meet again, and I could maybe get things right this time.
appreciate your smile a little more...
kiss your face once more
take in the perfume on your skin again
not let go of you as we slept next to each other
if we met again
maybe i could get something right

but me
Im just a green eyed boy
with green eyed wishes

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Monday, June 13, 2005
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I saw a bullfight...
I found this antiquated massive brick and tile arena after some wandering through the city for an hour. There it was with many little old Spanish affectianos for the sport gathering in one area to discuss the pending match, the better matadors etc... and another area the super touristy looking crowd; cameras around neck, fanny-packs, and guide books for all to see.
I wandered over to where the ticket windows are to have one of the old affectianos approach me, "only general admission left."
"oh, I'm sorry, what's that?" I respond completely confused.
He said he could tell I was a tourist looking to see a bull fight and if I really wanted to see it, he would sell me one of his tickets. He showed me a picture where I would be if i went to the ticket window and purchased a G.A. ticket, then where his seat was...
so I decided to go for his ticket... we haggled on the price in a good natured way. In parting he did a weird tug-pinch of the cheek thing to me and told me to enjoy it and said he know i would.
So I made my way in and wow, my seat was great! I was close to the ring and had good view of the bull entrance, from where the various matadors and horses entered, and could see where the master of the bullfight/judge sat.
I was a little weary that i might find it gruesome or unbearable, but i completely was enthralled by the spectacle and show of it all.
it was quite an amazing experience, like from another time and place completely.
"the Sun Also Rises" totally prepared me for it and what to look for in a good and bad bull as well as a good and bad matador.
It was the Sunday night event for the attendees, the upper class all dressed up and ready, the old affectianos with their papers and programs.
Then of course the random foreigner, not sure what to expect or if it will be gruesome. BTW when the matador and bull were top form... it was a graceful waltz with the matador leading the Bull in this dance. The talented matadors were so very entertaining and played off of the drama of the event and drew the crowd in and held us all in his hand. We yelled out in hope and relief "Ole!" as the bull swiped near the Matador and missed. The bulls were so very fierce and very very deadly. They swiped their horns like Hemmingway says; like boxer swinging out for a K.O. You could hear the echo and thud as the bull made contact with the wood the matador would leap behind for safety, it was that sort of thud that permeated your body and chilled your spine.
When the first matador finished the bull in one swipe of the sword, he did it with such accuracy that the bull dropped dead almost immediately. The Matador after the death strike, turned walked away as the area vibrated with the irruption of cheers and clapping from the crowd. Then he half turned back to the still standing bull, waved his red cape, and with that movement the bull fell dead. The Crowd roared and everyone took out their handkerchiefs and waved them in approval. Then every attendee looked to the judge... was he going to give his approval to the matador as one of honor? Yes Of course... the crowd irrupted again, and the matador made his way around the arena as he passed areas flowers and bladders of wine were thrown to him. Ladies would throw their scarfs and he would throw back.
(For you animal lovers.... they have a butchery in the back and immediately carve it up and feed the poor, I know for me I was concerned about a possibility of cruelty, but the animal was feared and respected.)
So it was an amazing experience...
Tonight there is some club that has jazz hiphop fusion... I will let you know how that goes...
I am sad to be leaving this wonderful city. I have met many great people, seen beautiful sights, faces, and hearts... and all it does is add to the hues I work from as I write, as I live...
ah barcelona... you beautiful gem.


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